Mad TV (1995–2016)

Debra Wilson: Various, Lowered Expectations Guide, Oprah Winfrey, Rosa Marticorena, Pam, Arlene, Beth Posner, Black Superhero Silhuette, Brenda, Burger Nation Worker, Coffee Tour Participant, Coroner's Assistant, Deb, Doctor, Dr. Jennifer Melfi, Dr. Warren, Fiona, Friendly Neighborhood Person, Janet Jackson, Judy, Juror, Latisha, Marie the Pilot, Melinda, Minister, Plaintiff, Prosecutor Jenny Fontaine, Self, Spishak Cola Taster, Spishak Commercial Mom, Student, TGI Saturdays Customer, Thelma, Vilma Washington, Whitney Housten, Whitney Houston, Women Shooting Neural Transmitting Spikes

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Belma Buttons : Damn, this flight makes more stops than R. Kelly's limo in a preschool parking lot.

  Tovah McQueen : God bless Southwest Airlines, the ghetto bus of the sky.

• Bunifa Jackson : [in an Antiques Roadshow parody, after being told her plate is worth $6]  Alright fine, but let me tell you something. I'll take the $6 then.

  Appraiser : I'm not interested in buying it.

  Bunifa Jackson : No, no it's okay, I'll take the six.

  Appraiser : No, no ma'am, I'm the appraiser, I'm not the buyer

  Bunifa Jackson : Then why you offer me $6?

  Appraiser : No, I didn't.

  Bunifa Jackson : Yes you did!

  Appraiser : No I didn't.

  Bunifa Jackson : Yes you did! Yes you did! Yes you did! Oh, so what am I a liar now? I'm a liar! She just called me a liar! I'm some dumb stupid liar. I'm just some dumb stupid lying bitch!

  Appraiser : Ma'am I did not call you any of those names.

  Bunifa Jackson : So she gonna say I'm deaf. I'm deaf! I'm some dumb stupid lying deaf bitch with a six dollar dinner plate!

• Nurse : [Vancome Lady is in a coma]  It's hard to tell how much work she had done. I'm gonna need a chisel to get all that makeup off.

  Vancome Lady : [thinking]  Watch it there, Moesha. I may be a coma but I'm not deaf.

• [while roller-blading] 

  Lida : Lee-Lee, your hands are on my tetas.

  Melina : Stupid, if I let go of your tetas, you gonna fall.

  Lida : Ok, you can keep 'em there.

  [under her breath] 

  Lida : Lesbiana...

• [at a Jamba Juice-like store] 

  Customer : I can't believe you don't have a problem with what you did.

  Cloret : And I can't believe you just spent $6 on some orange juice that took a trip around the blender with ice.

• Dancer : Oh, I'm not white. I'm Navajo.

  Bunifa Jackson : Well I'm not a ho, either!

• Rosa Parks : What's up with all you white people? Ya'll got no asses! It's like God said, "I'm gonna take your asses and give 'em to the black people!" See...

  [turns around] 

  Rosa Parks : We've got TWO asses!

• Cloret : Who the hell is Count-less Va-john?

  Countess Vaughn : It's actually Countess Vaughn. I'm on "The Parkers", it's on the UPN.

  Cloret : You on the UPN? That explains why I ain't never seen't you.

• Nautica Brown : And don't forget to buy my book, "Gone With the Wind... My Ass! Hollywood... and the White Man's Lies".

  Dollar Bill Montgomery : Damn, that's an angry bitch.