Casper (1995)
Eric Idle: Dibs
Photos
Quotes
-
Carrigan Crittenden : DIBS! Get this thing cooking, you flaccid little worm, you!
Dibs : Ah, Carrigan! How kind of you to drop in!
[Carrigan laughs]
Dibs : You know, if there's one thing I've learned from you, it's "always kick 'em when they're down." And baby, you're six feet under. Oh, what a shame!
[grabs vial and prepares to break it]
Dibs : Sorry, sweetheart, we're through!
Carrigan Crittenden : I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful, lousy little worm, you!
Dibs : [chuckles sarcastically] You can haunt me all you want, but it's gonna be in a great big expensive house, with lovely purple wallpaper, and great big green carpets, and a little dog called Carrigan... a b----, just like you! I've got the power! I've got the treasure!
Carrigan Crittenden : And you have a flight to catch!
Dibs : Huh?
[Carrigan flings Dibs out the window]
Carrigan Crittenden : [turns to Casper and Kat, calmly] Any other takers?
Casper : No, but aren't you forgetting something?
Carrigan Crittenden : *What*?
Casper : Yourrr unfinished business.
Carrigan Crittenden : My *what*?
Kat : You know, unfinished business. *All* ghosts have unfinished business. That's why they don't cross over.
Carrigan Crittenden : Unfinished business? I *have* no unfinished business. I have my treasure, my mansion. I have *everything*. I'm... just... perfect!
[laughs triumphantly till a beam of light bursts out of her body]
Carrigan Crittenden : [gasps] Wait! Wait! I lied!
[more lights beams burst from her]
Carrigan Crittenden : I have unfinished business - lots of unfinished business! I-I'm not ready to cross over yet! Wait! You tricked me, you rotten little rats!
[screams as she explodes, dropping the vial and chest, then Kat lunges for the vial and the chest hits the floor, opening the lid]
-
Mr. Rugg : [reading Mr Crittenden's will] To the Save the Dolphins Foundation, $11million. To the Save The Pumas Foundation, $1.2million. To the Padigonian Wasps Foundation, $1.4million. To The Dyslexic Dalmatians Foundation...
Carrigan Crittenden : The hell with the livestock. What did the old stiff leave me?
Dibs : [clears throat] I believe that what the bereaved is trying to express is that the sudden death of her only father has left a great gaping void in her bank, in her life, and, er, Carrigan wonders what he has left her to fill it up with.
Mr. Rugg : Let's see.
[reads]
Mr. Rugg : Bobcats, Owls, Snakes, Daughter; Carrigan, Whipstaff Manor in Maine.
Carrigan Crittenden : And?
Mr. Rugg : And I'm late for lunch, so if you'll excuse me.
Carrigan Crittenden : Are you telling me that I spent the last two days holding his clammy hand waiting for him to take it or like it and return his one lousy piece of property?
Mr. Rugg : No it was lousy 50 years ago. Now it's condemned. Enjoy.
[gives the will to Carrigan]
Carrigan Crittenden : Wait a minute. This is not fair! I protest! I'm gonna drag you and every one of those damn dolphins to court!
Mr. Rugg : Knock yourself out.
