5 September 2006 | frankfob
Women are hot, movie is cold
Jim Wynorski makes movies so guys can see beautiful women naked. That's it. Story, plot, historical accuracy, mood, whatever, doesn't matter; how many great-looking women it has and how often they get naked is the main concern of a Jim Wynorski movie, and this one keeps up that noble tradition (sort of). Kelly LeBrock doesn't really do anything for me--her lips look like they've been injected with most of the world's supply of collagen--and she's never been much of an actress. Even in a low-budget--VERY low-budget--western like this one, she's over her head. However, the other three women, especially gorgeous blonde Kimberly Kelly, almost make the movie bearable. I say "almost" because, once you get past the gratuitous nudity--of which there actually isn't enough, which is astounding for a Wynorski epic--the movie has pretty much nothing to recommend it. Wynorski usually leavens his breaststravaganzas with a healthy dose of humor, but there's little of that to be seen here. Matt McCoy is so hilariously lame in his goofy aping of Clint Eastwood's "Man With No Name" character that at first I thought this movie was going to be a parody, in the vein of "Rustler's Rhapsody"--in the opening gunfight with three competing bounty hunters, you can clearly hear McCoy fire seven shots from his six-shooter--but unfortunately they played it straight, and it doesn't work at all. The acting, as has been mentioned, is for the most part subpar; although villain John Terlesky isn't half bad, McCoy, Ross Hagen as the sheriff and especially Jay Richardson as the chief bad guy are just terrible. The gunfights (I hesitate to say "action") are very poorly handled, the dialogue (can't believe they actually paid somebody to write that bilge) is laughable and there's not enough nudity to make up for its many shortcomings. I guess Wynorski just didn't have his heart in it. I give it four stars--one each for Kimberly Kelly's best assets and one each for Rochelle Swanson's, all four of which are displayed to their best advantage. Other than that, this "western" is pretty much a dud.