Mark Jackson: That thing could eat a whole stack of Bibles for breakfast!
Sherry: Mr. Gartley, do something!
Bill Gartley: Do somethin'?
[to Lin Sue]
Bill Gartley: She wants me to do something!
[to Sherry]
Bill Gartley: I'll do somethin'! I'll do a little DANCE! That's what I'll do! I'll do a little jig for ya, Sherry!
[after seeing Mrs. Frawley get crushed by the mangler]
Bill Gartley: Ah, Frawley, you stupid old bitch. Always getting in the way. Goddamn it, goddamn it, goddamn it!
Mark Jackson: Have you considered the possibility that the machine may be haunted?
Officer John Hunton: Oh yeah, Mark, that's the first thing that popped into my mind!
Officer John Hunton: It folded her like a sheet Mark!
[last lines]
Sherry: Never enough time around here. I'm not running a charity here, Herb. Tell them to get their lazy asses in gear.
Herb Diment: Sherry. You heard the boss! Keep movin'!
Mark Jackson: Whats in this?
Officer John Hunton: I don't know, they're antacids, I got them from Mrs. Frawley.
Mark Jackson: [looking at ingredients on antacid bottle] Belladonna? You got these from Mrs. Frawley?
Officer John Hunton: The Hand of Glory?
Mark Jackson: I think... we may be fucked.
Bill Gartley: There's a little bit of me in that machine... and a little bit of that machine in me.
George Stanner: [Stanner is working on the machine when he sees Sherry coming towards him, crying hysterically] ... Sherry... what are you doing here?
Sherry: I have to see my uncle!
George Stanner: [Stanner holds out his arm to stop her] It's not a good idea, he's very upset...
Sherry: I can't work here anymore... the police came and asked me questions, I've gotta speak to him!
George Stanner: ...Police... it figures. Just don't go up there! He's busy.
Sherry: ...Lin-Sue's with him, isn't she?
George Stanner: [stares at Sherry worriedly] ... Sherry, go on home now...
Sherry: I HAVE to talk to him!
Bill Gartley: How are we feeling, my dear?
Lin Sue: Strange... I'm getting sick... are you ready for bed?
Bill Gartley: Yes... NO! No... there's something I must show you... my baby daughter's death certificate.
Lin Sue: [horrified] She was only sixteen!
Bill Gartley: Well, survival of the fittest.
J.J.J. Pictureman: [forlorn] I'm being... eaten up inside...
Officer John Hunton: What are you, some kind of pervert?
Mark Jackson: It doesn't matter whether I'm a pervert...
Officer John Hunton: The mangler got the foreman...
J.J.J. Pictureman: You have to exorcise your demon... don't let it possess your soul...
Sherry: Are you crazy?
Officer John Hunton: No, I'm a POLICEMAN!
Herb Diment: [Herb has to chop his colleague's arm off in order to free him from the laundry mangle] Oh god, I can't, George...
George Stanner: DO IT!
J.J.J. Pictureman: Just when you think you've seen it all, life bites you in the ass!
[makes a clicking noise with his teeth and grins]
Officer John Hunton: Excuse me, Miss Oulette, I'm uh, investigating a laundry folding machine with a bad case of demon possession, and I need to examine you to determine whether or not you're a virgin!
Bill Gartley: The only thing worse than the devil within... is the devil without.
[first lines]
George Stanner: What are you doing? Not up here. Get back down there. Jesus. Morons.
Bill Gartley: My power has nothing to do with money! Power is energy, power is motivation, power is what holds things together!
George Stanner: [appalled] My, god, Mr. Gartley Sir, that machine killed your daughter!... Look what it's done to you...