Theodore Rex (1995) User Reviews

an Abomination

[La Gremlin · 1/10 · 8 August 2000]

Ever since I started visiting this site, and voting for movies, I have never given any movie a rating of 1. Even the disturbing "Dance! Workout with Barbie" got a 2. There is a reason for this.

Any time I find myself watching what I think is a really bad movie, I have to stop and ask myself the following question: "Is this movie really as bad as the horrific soul-sucking beast that is 'Theodore Rex'?" And I've never been able to answer "yes".

I would give anything within reason to know what crackhead said "Hey! Let's remake 'Blade Runner' with Barney in the Harrison Ford Role!" and decided it was a good idea to actually spend the time and money to commit it to film. Furthermore, I want to know what the hell kind of market they were going to sell this towards if it hadn't gone strait to video. This is that rare monster: a movie that is way too violent for kids and way too insanely stupid for adults. I'd ask "what were they THINKING?" but in this case, it might actually be redundant.

Anyhow, all you need to know is that you should only expose yourself to this monstrosity if you're one of the five or six rabid fans of "Howard the Duck", or if you are curious to see the most Evil Insane movie of all time, or you want to REALLY punish yourself.

Make terrorists watch this. They'll talk just to make it stop.

[harbhippo · 1/10 · 26 January 2014]

On many occasions, depending on my mood and what kind of a day I've had, I look for known bad movies for the fun of laughing at the result. I've seen the silly shark movies, and I'm a fan of Plan 9. But this movie doesn't even rise to that level. It's awful. The dinosaur costume is cute, but the script is constantly trying to be clever (and fails), the premise could have been clever (but failed), and the story -- no, that didn't even have the potential for failure. Until now, I've loved any movie with dinosaurs, no matter how bad. Until now. It must be hard to make a movie that can't even entertain fans of bad movies. Maybe we should give them credit for that, I don't know. By the way, Whoopie Goldberg didn't want to do this thing. She was forced to because of a lawsuit. Maybe the whole point was to punish her for something we don't know about. If so, her attorney should have appealed to the "cruel and unusual punishment" clause.

Theodore Wrecked

[Newsense · 1/10 · 9 June 2009]

These reviews that claim this movie is so bad its good are going way overboard with that one. This movie does not have the guilty pleasure badness that Leonard Part 6, Battlefield Earth and Gigli had. Those movies were entertaining in their awfulness but this pile of dinosaur dung is so bad its painful. I haven't been in this much pain watching a bad movie since I watched Baby Geniuses and Superbabies. Before I start the review let me tell you the story. Theodore Rex is a $35 million dollar bust The New Line Cinema refused to put in theaters. They cut the losses sending it straight to video making it the most expensive straight-to-video movie in decades. Whoopi caved in to be in this disaster after a huge paycheck.

Plot: a millionaire clones dinosaurs so he can launch missiles at the sun which would kill mankind and start another Ice Age. A female cop named Katie Coltrane and an idiotic dinosaur named Theodore Rex reluctantly team up to stop him after the death of a buddy dinosaur.

The plot is given to you in the beginning of the movie which robs the movie of all its mystery. Then you have to deal with the fact that this movie is actually quite awful. Whoopi looks agitated and is trying to wing it with her performance but to no avail. Theodore Rex is flat out annoying and his bumbling behavior wears thin after five minutes on screen. Most of the jokes revolve around him threatening to bite people and hitting people with his tail(on accident and on purpose). I thought Burglar was bad but it takes a backseat to Theodore Rex: the worst movie of Whoopi's career.

Don't let anybody tell you this monstrosity is bad enough to be enjoyable. I didn't see that when I watched this movie. All I saw was a train wreck that was written by people that must have had some sick admiration for movie Howard The Duck. The humor is on that level and Theodore Rex looks like the inbred cousin of Barney. Utterly painful from start to finish.

Jurassic dork...

[Mister-6 · 1/10 · 20 February 2000]

Movies about dinosaurs can be entertaining. So can Whoopi Goldberg movies. But Whoopi AND dinosaurs?

After the first 20 minutes of "Theodore Rex", I had come to one conclusion: this movie is evil. Evil, vile, wicked and reprehensible in its spite for the audience. Nothing this bad is made by accident; this is the visual equivalent of a torture chamber.

First of all, Whoopi does not make good action movies (watch "Fatal Beauty" if you think I'm lying), but the film makers don't care - she's a tough cop here, yet again.

Seen a million cop buddy flicks this week? Well, here's number one million and one, pal.

Don't like cute, humanistic animated dinosaurs since that Spielberg TV show about them? Too bad, here's another one and he's a cop, too!

You one of those people that hates car chases, shoot-outs, sloppy dialogue, boring futuristic FX and seeing talented people (Goldberg, Mueller-Stahl, Roundtree) stuck in a movie that looks like a tax write-off? A BIG tax write-off?

And you read this review all the way to the end. You DESERVE a sequel. Seriously.

No stars, not a one. And if they really make a sequel to "Theodore Rex", Hollywood deserves to be attacked a whole herd of wise-cracking foam rubber dinosaurs.

Now, I'd pay to see that.

argh

[trhagen · 1/10 · 7 December 2005]

This movie was astonishing. It is beyond atrocious. I often get together with a group of friends and go to the movie store to find awful movies to watch for their comedic value. My friend suggested this one, but as we watched it, people began to leave. I really wanted to finish it, just so that I could say that I had, but I was unable to. It's that bad. Horrible running gags, lame acting. The main characters are an annoying dinosaur klutz and Whoopi Goldberg. I would rather watch Costener's The Postman twelve times in a row than see a fraction of this movie again. I think they try to deal with some dinosaur discrimination issues, but the part of the movie that really stands out is the dinosaur constantly knocking things over with his tail, and then guffawing about it. It hurts. Watch it if you're an aspiring masochist, otherwise, leave this one alone.

Blows hard core chunks

[pmcollectorboy · 1/10 · 23 September 2000]

This is, without a doubt, the single worst movie ever created. There's no arguing here. This is it. End of story. The story is juvenile and sub-moronic, looking like it was created by a three-year-old fascinated with dinosaurs. The entire concept is just plain dumb. It's inconceivable how someone could possibly come up with something so stupid and think it was entertaining. The jokes are also completely lame. If you haven't seen this movie yet, consider yourself lucky. If your morbidly curious as to how bad this movie is, please don't make me describe it. Words can't express how completely awful this movie is. This isn't just bad as in being a bad movie. Even those have cohesion, if not entertainment value. This. . . This is. . . Ugh! Think of the worst story ever told and multiply its badness level by 5,000, and you still haven't come close to how awful this movie is. After giving Pokemon the Movie one point, giving this movie one point seems like nothing short of charity. That's how bad it is. Did the producers and directors even take film classes? Because this is a perfect example of how not to make a film. It looks like some amateur high on paint thinner made this film. If you rented this, please take it back and ask for a refund. And don't even think about renting it again.

A mismarketed movie with a horrible premise.

[TOMNEL · 2/10 · 3 September 2008]

From watching only the trailer to Theodore Rex, you would think this is a bad buddy cop comedy with Whoopi Goldberg and a guy in a dinosaur costume. That is true, but this is mostly a futuristic story, which looks a lot like Batman Forever with it's direction style and weird character designs. It was mismarketed, and should have been marketed as a futuristic tale, instead of just a lame cop comedy. Whether or not this movie is mismarketed, it's still a horrible movie.

In the future, dinosaurs have been brought back to life through amazing technology, and they talk and walk around like humans. Teddy is a dinosaur detective who is never taken seriously, but after a dinosaur is murdered, he's given the case to work on, but he has to be partners with the toughest cop of them all, Katie Coltrane (Whoopi Goldberg). It's up to this mismatched duo to solve the murder, and it's up to the audience to stay awake long enough to make it through this piece of crud.

Teddy starts the picture as a normal acting character, but by the end he is unbearable to listen to. For some reason along with being a detective, he's also a bad comedian and a bad impersonator. He does imitations of famous people and accents, and has some truly awful lines. Whoopi blames him for farting and he says, "It's not my butt trumpet!" Wow! What a puerile, immature line, even for a kid's movie of this caliber. Whoopi is also annoying and rude to everyone. I was hoping Teddy would bite her head off the entire length of the film.

This movie never knew what it wanted to be. When the futuristic scenes and action occur, there is no comedy or humor. In any non-action scenes, the characters try to be as funny as they can, which just results in nonstop straight faced boredome. The action scenes don't work as they're too weird and not violent enough, and as stated earlier, the comedy is just a bunch of massacred jokes. Nothing ever works here.

Having a dinosaur/human detective duo seems like a pretty original movie, if nothing else. Nope! This movie is a huge rip-off of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Just replace dinosaurs with cartoons, and set it in the future, and it's the exact same plot. A man is killed, a dinosaur is killed. A dinosaur and detective solve the murder, a toon and detective solve the murder. The bad guys in Roger Rabbit are Christopher Lloyd and weasels. The bad guys here are a guy who sounds like Christopher Lloyd and guys who act just like the weasels. The club scene in Roger Rabbit where Jessica Rabbit walks down the stage is imitated with dinosaurs. This is a huge rip-off of a much better movie!

Overall, this is a bad movie, not even deserving of it's straight to VHS stature.

My rating: 1/2 out of ****. 90 mins. PG for mild violence, language and crude humor.

Whoopi Goldberg is almost always worth watching...almost

[moonspinner55 · 1/10 · 5 September 2006]

From the What Was She Thinking? file: Whoopi Goldberg plays a cop in the future who is teamed with a talking dinosaur (!) for a crime case involving a madman who wants to start another ice-age. Straight-to-tape oddity is embarrassing and ridiculous, a high-concept in search of itself. Apparently this was a labor of love for its writer-director, Jonathan Betuel (who also served as one of the producers); sadly, the end results are anemic, to be charitable. Goldberg's mere presence on-screen can often spark good will and laughter no matter how poor the script, but here she's drowning and you can see the unfunny results. NO STARS from ****

Minutes in front of the TV... years of therapy...

[Vincent_B · 1/10 · 8 April 2010]

As I explained to my doctor, I have this thing for short heavy black women in tight leather suits that hang out with guys in rubber dinosaur suits. So was it no wonder that when I found this on the cover I had to see the contents? I took it home and popped it in and began to watch the amazing revelations unfold. In the future there will be dinosaurs, cyborgs, genetically new species, and yet another ice age not the fault of global warming! What really blew my mind is the psychic link between dinosaurs. When Whoopi was in the dinosaur bar being hit on by a dinosaur, it was at this point I realized this had to be originally a porn video. They ended up cutting out all the porn scenes so they could get the rating dropped to PG for the family market. Basically I am still seeking the original uncut version but I am having a hard time locating a copy. My doctor insists that the movie is uncut, but I can read between the lines. Just look at some of the scenes how they cut away just before and it is like we missed important dialog. This movie gives me hope for the future.

Disgusting

[paris2 · 1/10 · 11 June 2005]

I was babysitting a family of three small children for a night and their mother gave me this to show for them having just grabbed it at Wal-Mart earlier in the week. All three children actually got physically ill while watching it. I'm pretty sure it was the pizza they ate, or something they all had picked up from school, but really it could have been this film. Absolutely disgusting. How any one can produce this caliber of trash is beyond me. Fortunately, I turned off the film when I noticed the children were not responding and acting strangely. For any parents out there, I strongly advise you to refrain from letting young children view this movie.

Possibly the greatest cinematic experience of all time!!!!

[cjlawrence83 · 10/10 · 10 May 2006]

Theodore Rex is possibly the greatest cinematic experience of all time, and is certainly a milestone in human culture, civilization and artistic expression!! In this compelling intellectual masterpiece, Jonathan R. Betuel aligns himself with the great film makers of the 20th century, such as Francis Ford Copola, Martin Scorcese, Orson Welles and Roman Polanski. The special effects are nothing less than breathtaking, and make any work by Spielberg look trite and elementary. At the time of it's release, Theodore Rex was such a revolutionary gem that it raised the bar of film-making to levels never anticipated by film makers. The concept of making not just a motion picture featuring a dinosaur, but adapting an action packed, thrilling detective novel, co-staring a "talking" dinosaur with a post-modern name such as "Theodore", and an existential female police officer changed humanity as we know it. The world could never be the same after experiencing such magnificent beauty. Watching Theodore Rex is much akin to looking into the face of God and hearing Him say "you are my most beloved creation." This is one of the few films that is simply TO DIE FOR!!!

Crack IS bad for you...

[lambiepie-2 · 1/10 · 19 August 2005]

No matter what anyone tells you, there is a mere fact to the word "possession" in film circles -- such as "what possessed you to greenlight this film?" Religion doesn't have anything to do with it, but common sense does. That is, if your head is clear and you are of sound mind to make a judgment.

On many levels I tried to rationalize where this film would entertain....or even interest the average consumer. The star? The story? The unique idea? A buddy movie that kids would love with a dinosaur and a black woman? On, my goodness! I am sure when this was an "idea", it sounded good. But somewhere during the course of development...someone should have pointed out where the idea could not translate into a piece of entertainment anyone would wish to watch or pay for...unless they were very much deeply under the influence of alcohol or drugs and saw something the rest of us could not see.

Regardless, this is a complete mess. Mess, mess - sin and a mess.

Who cares about the plot (what plot?) et al. Whoopie got a paycheck, but I would have been embarrassed to take it. I sure hope she fired her agent/manager/publicist over this career move. Obviously not, she went on to make more bad films. And more bad films. Sad.

The Bottom Of The Cage

[shark-43 · 1/10 · 20 June 2004]

I watch LOTS of bad films, LOTS!!!!!! It's kind of a hobby, really. Almost every Saturday nite a group of friends and I get together and watch trash from around the globe - ANYTHING. Turkish super hero movies, vampire flicks from Brazil, Italian gorilla transplant movies, Kevin Costner films, ANYTHING (except maybe Raising Helen) but Ihave never seen a WORST film than THEODORE REX. Never. And it's not even entertainingly bad in an Ed Wood kinda way - it just SUCKS. Now this film was famous in Hollywood at the time it was made because Whoopi took off the gloves and made it clear to the press and anyone else who would listen that she HATED THIS PIECE OF CRAP = she tried to get out of her contract, she whined, she moaned but nonetheless they pour her fat butt into this leather skin tight futuristic cop uniform that is ghastly to see, yikes!!!! And you can just see her seething during takes - doing everything but looking off camera for her agent so she can scream at him. The dinosaur has about three facial expressions and the script is so horrible a third grade class could do a better job if promised cookies.

It's ok

[thejimmyrocks2 · 5/10 · 23 January 2022]

I don't really know why a lot of adults are reviewing a child's movie. As an adult now of course, I'd not like this movie at all. But I remember watching this as a very young kid and loving it. So, your kids may love it, but you will most likely not be able to stand watching it as an adult.

Okay, but not great

[TheTitaniumDragon · 5/10 · 24 December 2006]

Theodore Rex is apparently much hated; some people have given it a 10-star rating, but I'm going to go with sarcasm on their parts. However, over half the people who've rated this gave it a 1. I suspect this is as much an effort to put this movie into the bottom 100 as anything else. The movie is not that bad. It isn't wonderful either, but it isn't abominable. I liked it as a kid, and while it isn't a masterpiece, it is watchable as a kid at least. It was a mediocre movie, but I thought it was fun.

That being said, don't think this is some amazing movie. It isn't. It is watchable and mediocre, but there are lots of better movies around. But it definitely doesn't deserve a 1. This movie may not be mind-blowing, but it isn't the Land Before Time XI or Plan 9 From Outer Space. It is better than a lot of the insipid romantic comedies starring Jennifer Lopez. But its below the level of high quality entertainment.

I'd not recommend buying it, but watching it once isn't a loss.

Sort of like if you reused some of the characters from the TV show "Dinosaurs" but without any comedy or cleverness.

[planktonrules · 2/10 · 6 January 2016]

Currently, "Theodore Rex" is listed on IMDb's infamous Bottom 100 list. While I would agree it was a bad and very misguided project, I cannot understand why there is this much hatred for the film. Sure, it's bad...but I've seen a lot worse!! At least it has interesting sets and dinosaur costumes...though little else. I'd consider putting it on the Bottom 1000 list (if they ever come up with one). As for the costumes, the look like they were literally recycled from the "Dinosaurs" TV series...though unlike the show, the film has little in the way of cleverness, comedy or fun.

The film is set in some sort of weirdo alternate reality but the prologue trying to explain this was completely confusing and unnecessary. Suffice to say, in this sci-fi film, human-like dinosaurs act just like people...and coexist in a human world. Or, at least they try to coexist but the humans look down on their cold- blooded friends. Because of this, when a cop (Whoopi Goldberg) is assigned to work with the very first dinosaur police detective, she is less than thrilled. And, by this point, her feeling is pretty much the audience's.

The bottom line is that the story is dull and often stupid. But the film isn't the most boring film I've ever seen--not that this is a glowing endorsement. I think that instead of making this super- expensive direct-to-video release, the filmmakers would have been much better off just making a "Dinosaurs" movie...it couldn't help but be better and less annoying.

Yes, it really is that bad

[TheLittleSongbird · 1/10 · 8 March 2011]

I saw this only today, and I do agree with the other reviews, it really is that bad. So much so, I am seriously considering putting it on my bottom 20. Before I begin criticising this abominable film, I have to give some credit to Whoopi Goldberg for trying so hard to give her character some credibility if not entirely succeeding for understandable reasons.

The special effects are just woeful, very rushed and lacking any clarity or sharpness. Theodore Rex as a character looks grotesque and horrible as well, and cinematography and editing-wise the film looks cheap. The story is woefully predictable and misconceived, the dialogue is sloppy with any sense of comedy being flushed down the toilet and the direction is wretched. Also, Theodore Rex is too violent for kids and adults I agree will find it a chore to watch due to its own stupidity.

The acting is also dire. Goldberg tries hard, but Armin Muellen-Stahl overdoes it badly in a very clichéd role as a mad scientist and lacks any menace. Overall, a really bad movie that as far as I'm concerned deserves its dubious reputation. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Like the Dinosaurs, the movie fails to evolve, and got extinct. This movie commit dinoside.

[ironhorse_iv · 2/10 · 19 October 2014]

Hey Theodore Rex! If you're happy for this movie, and you know it. Clap your... oh. Never mind, because there is small amount of people that honestly like this movie. This movie wasn't as bad as people make it out to be. Still, it was just a little too ridiculous. I have to give the movie, some credit as it was trying to do something new with the Dinosaur concept. Too bad, it didn't establish its world that way. In an alternate futuristic a dark and edgy cyberpunk society, a tough female police detective, Katie Coltrane (Whoopi Goldberg) is paired with a talking dinosaur, Theodore Rex (Voiced by George Newbern) to find the killer of dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals leading them to a mad scientist bent on creating a new Armageddon. Directed by Jonathan R. Betuel, the movie is badly delivered. It was supposed to capitalize on the 1990s Dinosaur craze that films like 1993's Jurassic Park & TV Shows, 1991's Dinosaurs help create. Sadly, it's fails due to a plot that is hard to understand with a complicated text prologue and horrible dialogue. The plot drags down to a slow pace due to a lot of filler scenes like the undercover clothes scene. BTW- he looks the same, undercover. Things are never explain like why the Dinosaurs have psychic powers or how anthropomorphic dinosaurs even came to this world. The film gets even weirder when clones and cyborgs are also in the film. The movie plot remind me of a mix between 1982's Blade Runner and 1988's Who Framed Roger Rabbit, with similarities. I really think the movie too many concepts in the film. The confusion and sheer randomness of the on screen action is actually kind of impressive It feels like a mess. A little more exposition would be great to have here. Even if the plot was clear, the poor animatronics made it a hard watch. It uses the same technology as the Dinosaurs TV show had at the time. The only problem is that is a step-down. For a movie that was $33.5 million dollars to make; you would think that they would use their money, well, and give the actor that plays the title character, a better Dinosaur suit to wear. The lip movements don't even sync with the costume's movement. Most of the actors signed on thinking the dinosaur would be computer enhanced. The fundamental problem with this movie is that Theodore doesn't act like a T. Rex. He's too anthropomorphized to be taken serious. Theodore Rex is flat out annoying hypocrite of a creature. One minute, he's preaching the teachings of non-violence, and the next minute, he's threating to bite people's head off. They really can't make up, their mind. His running gag about being a "recovering carnivore" is just downright too preachy. Last is his bumbling behavior that remind me of Jars Jar Binks's level of hatred. It does wears thin after five minutes on screen. Most of the jokes revolve around him are just more misses than hits to the funny bone. For a buddy cop comedy, this movie jokes are just unfunny for the most part. Whoopi Goldberg is no help. Whoopi looks agitated and is trying to wing it with her performance but to no avail. Whoopi attempted to back out of the deal, but legal entanglements kept her on the production. The supporting cast is just as forgettable in their performance. I nearly forgot that Richard Roundtree and Bud Cort are in this film. It's funny in a way, that Molly Rex (Voiced by Carol Kane) is just Theodore Rex in drag. It's disturbing as hell, that they look the same. The production crew look like they just reused the same costume. Carol Kane sings in her dinosaur persona, but the songs are not that catchy. It's get weirder with the forced love-interest sub-plot. The pacing ruins it. It's weird that she wants to get with Theodore on the same day of her murder ex-husband funeral. Talk about moving on, too quickly. The editing is just crappy as they intercut sequences that has little to do with each other. Many of the camera shots were unoriginal. It even has the nerves to steal epic shots from 1982's E.T like the flying in front of a full moon shot. There is a lot of shaky cam and oddly done Dutch angles that makes little to no sense to have. Though originally intended for theatrical release, the film went direct-to-video, and consequently became the most expensive direct-to-video film ever made at the time of its release. The film can be compare to 1986's Howard the Duck in how kid friendly it is. It has a lot of sexual innuendos, and brutal action scenes. Sadly, none of them really add much to the entertaining value of this film. I really doubt this movie was made for kids in the first place. Overall: A lot of people might get confused with this to a notable biography of Theodore Roosevelt. It seem like the movie did influence a bit of 2004's Anonymous Rex, which is a book series that, coincidentally, is about a dinosaur detective solving crimes amongst humans as well. Just better written. If you want to check out, a film about crime solving dinosaurs, Anonymous Rex might be the better film to watch, over this. This movie sucks.

This movie is lower than "bad".

[ozzy_marco · 1/10 · 6 October 2005]

Poor Whoopi Goldberg. Imagine her at a friend's dinner party, and she adds a comment to the in-depth political discussion going on. People just look at her and say, "Oh what would YOU know, you were the star of 'Theodore Rex'". How could anyone take her seriously after she lowered herself to be the star of this appalling piece of crap? Even little kids would be cringing in horror at this Thing. It reminded me of a particularly bad episode of 'Sigmund And The Sea Monsters'. Actually, come to think of it, 'Sigmund' was vastly superior to this.

And however did it get made? By plying the producer with an illegal substance before telling him about it? Watch this hideous abomination at your own peril.

The most overlooked movie of the 90's

[james_cocos-snowboots · 10/10 · 25 June 2005]

Compelling and Innovative! At the beginning of this criminally underrated Whoopi Goldberg flick the writers draw a parallel between Theodore Rex and the 1941 Orson Welles classic "Citizen Kane". The writers are justified in drawing such a seemingly disparate parallel, but the viewing public is too often hoodwinked into seeing overly hyped Hollywood schlock to appreciate the subtle similarities between these two movies. In "Citizen Kane" Charles Foster Kane is feared and admired by his colleagues and his underlings, much like Whoopi Goldberg in this movie. This movie is about finding love in everybody's differences. It is an epic examination of the fear of abandonment and the need for love and acceptance in a society that is dominated by greed and self-absorption. Whoever paired Whoopi Goldberg and Theodore Rex formulated a dyad for the ages, with the only justifiable comparisons being Bogey and Bacall, Hepburn and Tracy and Hall and Oates. If you would love to watch an uplifting, celluloid philosophical examination of some of humanity's deepest drives; Bergman-esqe but not as depressing, Theodore Rex should be viewed immediately!

worst movie ever, bar none.

[lostvideos · 1/10 · 2 April 2004]

I watched this movie when Joe Bob Briggs hosted Monstervision on TNT. Even he couldn't make this movie enjoyable. The only reason I watched it until the end is because I teach video production and I wanted to make sure my students never made anything this bad ... but it took all my intestinal fortitude to sit through it though. It's like watching your great grandmother flirting with a 15 year old boy ... excruciatingly painful.

If you took the actual film, dipped it in paint thinner, then watched it, it would be more entertaining. Seriously.

If you see this movie in the bargin bin at S-Mart, back away from it as if it were a rattlesnake.

My god, my god. Why have you forsaken me.

[Raptor6411 · 1/10 · 11 July 2004]

Do not see this movie if you value your mind. At the end of our collective viewing, me and my friends estimated that we each lost 5% of our brains during its course. The only person involved with its making that was not clinically insane was the set designer.

Most movies leave a bad taste in your mouth. I realize now that instead of a feeling of revulsion, this movie has bred a deep hatred within me. I hate this movie so very, very much.

Some might say this movie is not meant to be taken seriously. If only it didn't take itself seriously. But it does. The plot is a warmed over version of Blade Runner-esque universe melded with the cheap rubber suits so prevalent in bad dinosaur movies. The dialogue is not only puerile and meaningless but often literally painful. Whoopee Goldberg isn't even trying, but George Newbern as the voice of Theodore Rex is like fingernails on the soul. And whether its Juliet Landua with her off again on again British accent or Richard Roundtree (aka Shaft) as the blustering Commissioner, you will sink into an ever increasing sense of incredulity and disillusionment.

I recommend this movie only to anyone who wishes to see the depths of stupidity to which mankind may fall.

Not the worst movie ever made

[robot_rollcall · 4/10 · 16 June 2010]

Theodore Rex (T. Rex, getit?) is the story of a dinosaur detective who teams up with a hard-ass cyborg cop (inexplicably played by Whoopi Goldberg) to catch a killer in what the movie hints is the world's fist ever 'dinocide.' This film is not to be confused with Theodore Rex, the 2001 biography of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris. The film was clearly meant to be a buddy cop comedy, but sadly the only joke here is the movie itself.

Q: What costs $33.5 million dollars and goes direct-to-video? A: Theodore Rex.

But all joking aside, this is not the worst film ever made. The special effects, at least those done in the computer, are below average for 1996, but the animatronics are passable at least. The plot drags its feet under a mountain of mildly entertaining filler. The worst scenes take place in a dinosaur dance club. Perhaps the only truly revolting scene in the film involves a ceratopsidae (a three horned type dinosaur) flirting with our cyborg cop, leaving us to contemplate an inter-species relationship between a dinosaur and Whoopi Goldberg. The horror! The rest of the film is a bland but generally unoffensive brand of unfunny humor consisting of two parts slapstick and one part flatulence, but T. Rex is too dull to hold the attention of little tots long enough to bring them to its peak of comedy genius.

Do not rent this movie. T. Rex is mildly entertaining, but not worth spending any money on.

$33m and not a penny of it on the screen!

[marcusedenellis · 1/10 · 27 August 2007]

Wow... what would you do with $33m? Let me give you a choice; you can either a) shred it and flush it down the toilet or b)make a film based on the premise of Whoopi Goldberg as a hard nut futuristic cop partnered with a rubber dinosaur who uses terms like "I didn't butt trumpet" and blows raspberries on the basis that this is funny. That's right, you would choose the option that has more merit - flushing down the toilet.

This has to be seen to be believed. I cannot even find the words to describe how bad this film is. It doesn't even fit into the "so bad - it's good" category. I actually have it on the television as I write - and whilst watching I felt the need to come onto IMDb and register my disgust.

Considering Jurassic Park was made a couple of years before, how on earth did they think that audiences would any longer tolerate a man dressed in a rubber suit? WG should have simply walked and damn the consequences. Everyone concerned will go to hell for this criminal waste of money.

I have to stop writing - I am about to implode.