9 February 2004 | redrider-1
Awful does not begin to describe this movie.
I admit that I have a weakness for films with attractive women. When I found this movie, with Meredith Salenger, Audie England, Jessica Alba, and even Morgan Fairchild, I thought to myself, "Whoa! How did I miss this one?" After watching it, I understood how it could have slipped through the cracks. It is absolutely one of the worst movies I have ever watched. It was so horribly bad that I was compelled to sit through the entire flick to see how much more terrible it could get.
The script must have been (and for simple ease, here, I'll just continue to use the word 'bad') bad to begin with, but the director somehow bad it even worse. The editing leaves much to be desired. In a word? Bad. Just really, really bad. The concept of walking around with a wonderful little pyramid-shaped box that dispenses all sorts of drugs, narcotics, mood-enhancers, or whatever... Wow. And yet, the person with the magic pyramid still is constantly, suicidally unhappy. The flashbacks to a youth where there was no food, you lived in an empty prison on a deserted island, again, where the WAS NO FOOD, and yet lots of healthy-looking people fighting over the scraps of food that somehow 'were found'? Again, wow. And how about the Virtual Reality machine that lets people just 'appear where they want' for 'dates'? Wow. Just wow. And all these people who will just 'show up' when it's convenient to the story. "Hey there, just happened to be strolling down the beach with this unopened can of Pepsi. How about having sex with me for it? I can see that you're pretty filthy, and you seem to have some blood on your clothes, but what the heck, I'm game. We'll just duck under this convenient boardwalk where no one else happens to be and..." Shoot me now, just get it over with, will you? Who wrote the script? The director's fourth-grade kid? As a class project?
And the end of the film is so terribly, incredibly, unforgivably bad... It's like, "Uh-oh. Got to wrap this up in... hmm... we'll give it 90 seconds, but since my kid only wrote 30 seconds of dialog, we'll have another 60 seconds of awkward silences to stretch it out."
This film is irredeemably bad. Bad, bad, bad. BAD!