Everyone Says I Love You (1996)

Woody Allen: Joe

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Joe : I'm gonna kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I'll be dead. In fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or... wait a minute. With the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York, but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done and I could also be dead.

• Joe : Carol was a poet and a member of MENSA so...

  Steffi : She was a heroin addict!

  Joe : Yeah she was also a heroin addict, but I thought it was insulin, so how was I to know?

• Steffi : You always pick the wrong women.

  Joe : Hey, I picked you.

  Steffi : Yeah, I know, we got divorced.

  Joe : 'Cause you were impossible to live with.

  Steffi : "I was impossible to live with," I love this. You couldn't figure out whether you wanted to be a psychoanalyst or a writer!

  Joe : So I compromised, I became a writer and a patient.

• Joe : In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.

• Joe : My knowledge of art is limited to Kirk Douglas as Vincent VanGogh.

• Joe : Madeline was an archaeologist. She was fabulous.

  Steffi : Madeline was a nymphomaniac!

  Joe : Yeah, okay, she had a little problem with fidelity. You know, I didn't happen to see it.

• Steffi : Y'know over the years I often wondered what would have happened if we stayed together.

  Joe : Well, that's something we never gonna know. We've managed to produce a fabulous daughter though. She got your looks, fortunately, and my... magic personality.

• Joe : You're going to major in Journalism or Law. Not Rowing.

• Joe : There was a moment there when I stroked when I should have hickeyed.

• Joe : Take my mustache off... .

  Steffi : Please!