Tom Cruise credited as playing...
Jerry Maguire
- [Rod has just told Jerry he will keep him as his agent]
- Jerry Maguire: That's, that's great. I'm very... happy.
- Rod Tidwell: Are you listenin'?
- Jerry Maguire: Yes!
- Rod Tidwell: That's what I'm gonna do for you: God bless you, Jerry. But this is what you gonna do for me. You listenin', Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: Yeah, what, what, what can I do for you, Rod? You just tell me what can I do for you?
- Rod Tidwell: It's a very personal, a very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Are you ready, Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: I'm ready.
- Rod Tidwell: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jerry, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.
- Jerry Maguire: Show you the money.
- Rod Tidwell: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jerry! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line; I better hear you he can say it!
- Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.
- Rod Tidwell: No! Not show you! Show me the money!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that shit!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you, Jerry!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Jerry, you got to yell!
- Jerry Maguire: [screaming] Show me the money! Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Do you love this black man!
- Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: I love black people.
- Jerry Maguire: I love black people!
- Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker, Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!
- Rod Tidwell: Whatcha gonna do, Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Unh! Congratulations, you're still my agent.
- Jerry Maguire: [babbling and struggling] I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...
- Dorothy: Shut up,
- [pause]
- Dorothy: just shut up.
- [Pause]
- Dorothy: You had me at "hello". You had me at "hello".
- Ray: [while in the backseat of their car] Did you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
- Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
- Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
- Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
- Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
- Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!
- Jerry Maguire: [to Rod] I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?
- Jerry Maguire: The fuckin zoo is closed, Ray.
- Ray: You said fuck.
- Jerry Maguire: Uh... yeah... I...
- Ray: Don't worry. I won't tell.
- Rod Tidwell: I feel for you, man. But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.
- Jerry Maguire: I didn't shoplift the pootie.
- [Rod gives him a long Look]
- Jerry Maguire: All right. I shoplifted the pootie.
- Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy] We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me.
- Jerry Maguire: [over the phone] I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.
- Rod Tidwell: [while leaving the stadium after a game] Maybe you don't. Because it's not just the money I deserve. It's not just the "coin." It's the... - "the kwan".
- Jerry Maguire: That's your word?
- Rod Tidwell: Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community... and the dollars too. The package. The kwan.
- Jerry Maguire: But how did you get "kwan?"
- Rod Tidwell: I got there from "coin," dude. Coin, coin... kwaaaan.
- Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] Don't worry, I'm not gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do, which is, you know, FLIP OUT!
- Laurel: [after Marrying her sister without considering it thoroughly] You fuck this up, I'll kill you!
- Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.
- Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] But if anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the ground floor of something real and fun and inspiring and true in this godforsaken business and we will do it together! Who's coming with me besides... "Flipper" here?
- Jerry Maguire: [while on a plane] What are you doing with me, Rod?
- Rod Tidwell: Why?
- Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty-four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!
- Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-fucking-hoo.
- Avery Bishop: There is no real loyalty.
- Jerry Maguire: None.
- Avery Bishop: And the first person who told me that, Jerry Maguire, was you.
- Jerry Maguire: I think I was trying to sleep with you at the time.
- Avery Bishop: Well, it worked.
- Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself "Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!
- Jerry Maguire: Rod...
- Rod Tidwell: I'm from Arizona, Jerry! I broke Arizona records! I went to Arizona State! I'm a Sun Devil, man!
- Jerry Maguire: And now you want Arizona dollars?
- Rod Tidwell: Exaaaacctly!
- Jerry Maguire: Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?