Quotes (14)

[a local cop is preventing O'Malley from entering a crime scene]

FBI Agent O'Malley: O'Malley, FBI!

Local Cop: O'Malley?

FBI Agent O'Malley: Is there a problem?

Local Cop: No. I just thought you'd be more... , more...

FBI Agent O'Malley: More Irish?

Local Cop: Yeah.

FBI Agent O'Malley: [in a very fake Irish accent] Top o' the fuckin' mornin' to ya!

Local Cop: [embarassed] Yes, sir.

Frank O'Brien: People like us are born in little houses and die in little houses, and we've got to find happiness somewhere in between.

[Looking at cows]

Roz: Oh, these are so cute!

Frank: Honey, puppies are cute. These are just cheeseburgers with legs.

[sees Roz's handiwork]

Frank: What did you hit him with?

Roz: Uh, right hook.

Frank: [to Evan, in a snooty tone] How perspicuous.

[Roz flicks Evan's nose]

[Evan has been exposed as Phil the Shill]

Evan Marsh: Don't worry, Roz. I can beat this.

Roz: You know, you are amazing. You are an amazing... piece of garbage! You're worse than Beano and Fitzy and all those guys. I mean they may be liars and deadbeats and scumbags but they would *never* pretend to be anything they're not!

Evan Marsh: I meet a lot of girls who want to fuck their way into this, but I *liked* you, a little. But you don't know what you want! That's why you're stuck with that loser boyfriend of yours.

Roz: What did you say?

Evan Marsh: Your boyfriend. What's his name?

Roz: His name is *FRANK*!

[punches him in the nose, knocking him to the ground]

Roz: Why can't people remember that name?

[after successfully catching Phil the Shill, with Frank's help]

FBI Agent O'Malley: Hey. Next time you pull a job, give me a call. The way you operate, you might as well be wearing a badge.

[repeated line]

FBI Agent O'Malley: This is way too easy.

[debate on how to rescue Beano from jail]

Quinn: I've had enough! Enough of *you*! I ask you not to smoke, you smoke. I ask you not to curse, you curse. I ask you not to *pass gas* and all day it's...

[farting noises]

Kelly: I got a gastro intest... . intestinal disease!

Fitzie: The question is... .. "What would Beano do?"

[they drive off in a hurry]

Kelly: He'd be thinking of his own ass and getting out as fast as he could, the selfish midget BASTARD!

Frank: Honey, these are cops. They're like garbage men with guns.

Roz: Did you steal this from the house?

Frank: No.

Roz: Honey?

Frank: Yes.

Frank: What are you looking for, a key?

Roz: No, I'm lookin' for your brain.

Frank: You think someone would actually leave a key?

[Roz reaches above the door and finds a key]

Roz: This key? Is this the key you're talkin' about? I'm just checkin'.

Todd: Girls like muscles. They like muscles and romantic dinners.

Frank: Remember when we had the map. Those were the fuckin' day weren't they. The map days

Fitzie: [They're in a stolen FBI car] I'll tell ya, these cop cars are great. I never sat in the front before.