Rupert Giles: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

Cordelia Chase: You're really campagning for Bitch Of The Year, aren't you?

Buffy Summers: As defending champion, you nervous?

Dawn Summers: Oh my God. You will never believe what happened at school today!

Buffy Summers: Everybody started singing and dancing?

Dawn Summers: [disappointed] I gave birth to a pterodactyl.

Anya: Oh my God. Did it sing?

[repeated line]

Faith: Five by five.

Anya: For God's sakes Andrew, you've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?

Andrew Wells: Entertaining and educating.

Anya: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?

Xander Harris: Who's a little fear demon? Come on, who's a little fear demon?

Rupert Giles: Xander, don't taunt it.

Xander Harris: What, can it hurt me?

Rupert Giles: No, it's just... tacky.

Buffy Summers: Amy! How've you been?

Amy Madison: Rat. You?

Buffy Summers: Dead.

Amy Madison: Oh.

Buffy Summers: Cordelia. Your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.

Dawn Summers: [as Buffy offers chicken to the Scooby-gang] I think I'll take a drumstick.

Willow Rosenberg: I'm a breast gal myself. But of course, you already knew that.

Spike: It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot. You... You glow.

Buffy Summers: That's because the dress is radioactive.

Willow Rosenberg: [about Xander dating Cordelia] What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I'm-dating-a-skanky-hoe.

Buffy Summers: Meow.

Willow Rosenberg: Really? I've never gotten a 'meow' before.

Buffy Summers: I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here.

Cordelia Chase: No way! I wish us into bizarro-land and you two guys are still together?

Oz: It looks dead. It smells dead. Yet it's moving around. That's interesting.

Anya: I know you like me. I've seen you looking at my breasts.

Xander Harris: No offense, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

Buffy Summers: So Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.

Dawn Summers: When do I get to patrol?

Buffy Summers: Not until you're never.

Billy 'Ford' Fordham: I know all your deepest secrets, Summers.

Xander Harris: Care to make a small wager on that?

Spike: Who do you kill for fun around here?

Drusilla: Say uncle. Oh that's right, you killed my uncle.

Jonathan Levinson: Stop touching my magic bone!

Xander Harris: You know what day is great for a break-up? Any day but Valentine's Day!

Mayor Richard Wilkins: Man, I'm feeling chipper! Who's up for a root beer?

Billy 'Ford' Fordham: I thought you were slaying a vampire.

Buffy Summers: I was whatting a what?

Xander Harris: Are you ready to get down, you funky party weasel?

[repeated line]

Buffy Summers: From beneath you, it devours.

Mayor Richard Wilkins: Where is the courier? I told him to come so he could get his money.

Faith: I made him an offer he couldn't survive.

Willow Rosenberg: So I guess it's true: scythe matters.

[repeated line]

Ted Buchanan: Beg to differ.

Mayor Richard Wilkins: [clears his throat] Well, what a day this is. A special day. Today is our centennial - the 100th anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale and I know what that means to all you kids... not a darn thing. Because today, something much more important happens - today you all graduate from high school. Today, all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what's a hundred years of history compared to that?

Buffy Summers: My God, he's gonna do the entire speech!

Willow Rosenberg: Man, just ascend, already!

Buffy Summers: Evil!

Mayor Richard Wilkins: It's been a long road getting here. For you. For Sunnydale. There's been achievement, joy, good times. And there's been grief... there's been loss. Some people who should be here today... aren't. But we are... journey's end. And what is a journey? Is it just... distance travelled? Time spent? No. It's what happens on the way. It's the things that shape you. At the end of the journey, you're not the same. Today is about change. Graduation doesn't just mean you're circumstances change. It means you do. You ascend to a higher level. Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing.

[the Sun begins to eclipse and the Mayor doubles over in pain]

Mayor Richard Wilkins: And so, as we look back on...

[the Mayor trails off again]

Mayor Richard Wilkins: on the events that have brought us to this day...

[he convulses again]

Buffy Summers: [whispers] Come on.

Mayor Richard Wilkins: We... we must all...

[this time he yells out in pain]

Mayor Richard Wilkins: it has begun. My destiny. It's a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride... but I guess we'll just skip to the big finish.

[the Mayor begins to visibly transform into a giant, demonic snake and lets out an inhuman cry of triumph]

[repeated line]

Dawn Summers: I'm not a kid!

Angel: I know what you're thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite.

Angel: Sorry about the chains. It's not that I don't trust you, it's... Actually, it is that I don't trust you

Buffy Summers: Will, let's be realistic here. OK, your basic spells are usually only about 50/50.

Willow Rosenberg: Oh, yeah? Well, so's your face!

Xander Harris: [to Anya, after he caught her having sex with Spike at the Magic Box] I look at you, and I feel sick.

Spike: [to the vampire inhabitants of Sunnydale] Me and Dru, we're movin' in.

Angelus: [Giles wakes up in Angelus's mansion after being kidnapped by Drusilla] Hi Rupert. I wasn't sure you were gonna wake up. You had me worried.

Rupert Giles: [gets to his feet] What do you want?

Angelus: [cheerfully] I want to torture you. I used to love it and it's been a long time. I mean the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even have chainsaws.

[Angelus walks over to the statue of Acathla, a demon he's trying to awaken that will suck the world into Hell]

Angelus: Oh, yeah... Acathla. He's an even harder guy to wake up than you are. I mean I've performed the ritual... said all the right phrases, blood on my hand... got nothing, big doughnut hole for my troubles. I figure you know the ritual, you're pretty up on these things, you could probably tell me what I'm doing wrong. But honestly, I sorta hope you don't... because I really want to torture you.