Air Bud (1997)

Michael Jeter: Norm Snively

Photos 

Quotes 

• Judge Cranfield : By the powers vested in me, I award custody of the dog to Josh Framm.

  [Bang his Gavel] 

  Judge Cranfield : Case closed. Thank God.

  Norm Snively : You can't do that! That dog is my dog! I got pictures!

  Judge Cranfield : Will somebody suppress that clown?

  [the bailiff and the two police officers dragged the clown Norm Snively away and placed him under arrest. And the clown Norm Snively shouting] 

• Josh Framm : It's the gavel, sir.

  Judge Cranfield : What? Speak up!

  [Dog Barking. Judge Cranfield bangs his Gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking] 

  Judge Cranfield : Bailiff!

  Bailiff : You said speak.

  [Dog barking] 

  Judge Cranfield : Speak!

  [Dog barking] 

  Judge Cranfield : Will somebody please suppress that dog?

  [Observers laughing] 

  Norm Snively : Shh!

  Judge Cranfield : Oh, what a day. What a day.

  [Judge Cranfield drinks his glass of water] 

  Judge Cranfield : Ugh.

  [Glass thuds] 

  Judge Cranfield : Now then - young man, have you any evidence... that this man abused your dog? Did you ever see him hit the dog?

  Josh Framm : Well... no.

  Judge Cranfield : Then how did you know the dog was abused?

  [light chuckle] 

  Josh Framm : Because Buddy doesn't like him. Buddy's my friend. I know what he's feeling, so he knows what I'm feeling. I spilled beer all over my wife.

  Jackie Framm : He's telling the truth, Your Honor.

  Judge Cranfield : Who's that?

  Bailiff : Boy's mother.

  Judge Cranfield : Oh, it's all right, you may sp - You may address the court.

  Jackie Framm : When we first moved to this town, um, my son... was uh, very unhappy. And then he found Buddy here. And, um, Buddy's given him somebody to look forward to. Please, please, don't take Buddy away from my son.

  Judge Cranfield : Mrs. Framm, as far as this court is concerned, the dog is property unless you have evidence...

  Jackie Framm : Your Honor. All these people here did not come here because of a piece of property, Your Honor. They came here because of Buddy. He's part of this town. And he's part of the team, and he's part of our family now, Your Honor.

  Norm Snively : Well, he's part of my family, too!

  [Crowds booing] 

  Norm Snively : He's like a son to me!

  [Crowds booing] 

  Norm Snively : Aw, shut up!

  [Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking. Court case of Snively vs. Framm just started and Timberwolves Coach Arthur Chaney just walked into the courtroom, unexpectedly] 

  Arthur Chaney : Why not let the dog choose, Your Honor? They say a dog is man's best friend. If that's the case, shouldn't the dog be able to choose who he wants to be friends with?

  Judge Cranfield : Who are you, Barnum or Bailey?

  Arthur Chaney : Arthur Chaney, Your Honor.

  Judge Cranfield : Mr. Chaney, do you reali -

  [stammers in shock] 

  Judge Cranfield : Arthur Chaney? New York Knicks, '56? Huh. I was at that Celtics game where you did the turnaround jumper at the buzzer. I - I spilled beer all over my wife.

  [Crowds laughter] 

  Bailiff : Your Honor.

  Judge Cranfield : What? Oh, yes, yes, yes.

  [Clears his throat. Bangs Gavel. Dog Barking] 

  Judge Cranfield : Mr. Chaney.

  Arthur Chaney : Well, I've been thinking. Uh. This dog's what, three, four years old. That makes him an adult in our years. I say let Buddy decide.

  [Observers murmuring] 

  Judge Cranfield : Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years on the bench, I have heard a lot of lamebrain cockamanie proposals, but this one... I like.

• Bailiff : Next case: Snively vs. Framm.

  Judge Cranfield : This one of your high-profile divorce cases?

  Bailiff : No, sir. Custody.

  Judge Cranfield : Oh, custody.

  [Then sees Buddy, unchained, in his courtroom] 

  Judge Cranfield : Holy Toledo! What is that dog doing in the courtroom?

  Bailiff : That's the uh, child, sir.

  Judge Cranfield : That's a pretty ugly kid.

  [Observers laughing. Courtroom attendants laughs at his remarks] 

  Bailiff : It's a dog.

  Judge Cranfield : What?

  Bailiff : The case is about custody of a dog.

  Judge Cranfield : All right, I'll take it, but we have to do this seriously. I will not have my courtroom turned into some kind of a circus.

  [Norman Snively walks into the courtroom, dressed as a clown, shocking Judge Cranfield] 

  Judge Cranfield : Who the hell are you?

  Norm Snively : Mr. Norman F. Snively, Your Honor. I'm the plaintiff.

  [Dog growls] 

  Judge Cranfield : You look like an idiot.

  Norm Snively : Why, thank you, sir. See, I'm a clown by profession. Happy Slappy's the name. Clown and the Hound. Begging your humblest pardon, I thought it might be helpful to Your Honor, if I appeared here today in the guise most pertinent to the cogent and unequivocal stating of my case.

  Judge Cranfield : Whatever, whatever. Y-Y-You got first, clown.

  Norm Snively : Well, the fact is, Your Honor, that dog's my property, and I have papers to prove it.

  Judge Cranfield : Well, would you show them to me, please?

  Norm Snively : Well, actually, Your Honor, I-I had papers to prove it. But that boy - that young hooligan - because of his irresponsible and criminal activity, is responsible for what you see.

  [Crowds murmuring. And Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court] 

  Judge Cranfield : Order!

  [Dog barking] 

  Norm Snively : You see, sir, when I lost my dog for the first time, it broke me up real bad. When I lost him the second, it darn near killed me. Hell's bells, Your Honor, All I wanna do is get Old Blue back. So it can be him and me together just like it always was.

  Josh Framm : Why? So you can abuse him some more?

  Judge Cranfield : That will be enough, young man.

  [Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel. Dog barking] 

  Norm Snively : I raised that dog from puppy. I wouldn't harm a hair on his head!

  [Crowds yelling. Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking] 

  Judge Cranfield : Bailiff, what is that?

  Bailiff : The dog, Your Honor.

  Judge Cranfield : Oh.

  [Crowds talking] 

  Judge Cranfield : Order!

  [Judge Cranfield bangs his gavel in restoring order in the court. Dog barking] 

  Judge Cranfield : Quiet!

  [Bangs gavel. Dog barking] 

• Norm Snively : [on phone with agent]  Oh wait, the Oprah woman... Oprah, you know, the Oprah woman, she like dogs? I'd LOVE to do Jay Leno!

  [sees Josh releasing Buddy from the chain] 

  Norm Snively : Hey!

• Norm Snively : [on phone]  No, no, I don't want my dog doing beer commercials.

• Judge Cranfield : [Snively enters the courtroom in his clown outfit]  Who the hell are you ?

  Norm Snively : Mr. Norman F. Snively, Your Honor. I'm the plaintiff.

  Judge Cranfield : You look like an idiot.

  Norm Snively : Why thank you, sir. See, I'm a clown by profession. Happy Slappy's the name. Clown and the Hound. Begging your humblest pardon, I thought it might be helpful to Your Honor if I appeared here today in the guise most pertinent to the cogent and unequivocal stating of my case.

  Judge Cranfield : Whatever. You go first.