Johner: Hey, Ripley. I heard you, like, ran into these things before?

Ripley: That's right.

Johner: Wow, man. So, like, what did you do?

Ripley: I died.

Johner: Don't push me, little Call. You hang with us for a while, you'll find out I am not the man with whom to fuck!

[first lines]

Ripley: [voiceover] My mommy always said there were no monsters. No real ones. But there are.

Purvis: [shouting] What's in-fucking-side me?

Dr. Wren: A parasite! A foreign element.

Ripley: There's a monster in your chest. These guys hijacked your ship, and they sold your cryo tube to this... human. And he put an alien inside of you. It's a really nasty one. And in a few hours it's gonna burst through your ribcage, and you're gonna die. Any questions?

Purvis: Who are you?

Ripley: [smiles] I'm the monster's mother.

Call: Father's dead, asshole. Intruder on level one. All aliens, please proceed to level one.

Dr. Wren: I think you will find that, uh, things have changed a great deal since your time.

Ripley: I doubt that.

Ripley: [after discovering Call is a robot] You're a robot?

Johner: Son of a bitch! Our little Call's just full of surprises.

Ripley: I should have known. No human being is that humane.

Ripley: Who do I have to fuck to get off this boat?

Johner: I can get you off. Maybe not the boat.

[when the Betty hits Earth's atmosphere]

Johner: What's burning?

Vriess: Us!

Johner: Shit! You're right!

Johner: You can't fly one of these things too, can you?

Ripley: Are you kidding? This piece of shit is even older than I am.

Distephano: I thought you were dead.

Ripley: Yeah, I get that a lot.

Johner: Earth, man. What a shithole.

[when the Alien "baby" emerges from the Queen's womb]

Dr. Gediman: You are... a beautiful, beautiful, butterfly.

Elgyn: She is severely fuckable, ain't she?

Ripley: Why do you care what happens to them?

Call: Because I'm programmed to.

Ripley: You're programmed to be an asshole? You're the new asshole model they're putting out?

Call: Jesus Christ, Johner, what do you put in this shit? Battery acid?

Johner: Just for color.

[last lines]

Call: [about Earth] It's beautiful.

Ripley: Yeah.

Call: I didn't expect it to be. What happens now?

Ripley: I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself.

[a soldier prods Johner in the back with a rifle. Johner spins and snatches it away in an eyeblink]

Johner: Don't ever touch me!

[returns it just as fast]

Johner: Ever!

General Perez: Ellen Ripley died trying to wipe this species out. For all intents and purposes, she succeeded!

[General Perez offers Elgyn a drink]

General Perez: Drink, Elgyn?

Elgyn: Constantly.

Vriess: [Strapped to Christie's back, about to traverse the flooded kitchen] Hey Christie, do me a favour. When we hit the surface on the other side, no backstroke, okay!

Johner: I'm not the mechanic here, Ironsides! I mostly just hurt people!

Ripley: Does it grow?

Dr. Gediman: Yeah. Very rapidly.

Ripley: It's a queen.

Dr. Gediman: How did you know that?

Ripley: She'll breed. You'll die. Everyone in the company will die.

Dr. Wren: Distephano, take the weapons.

Distephano: Begging your pardon, sir, but FUCK YOU!

Johner: Well, I say if we wanna make any decent time, I say we ditch the cripple.

[to Vriess]

Johner: No offense, man.

Vriess: [giving him the finger] None taken!

[the Newborn Alien slowly dies by being sucked out of the Betty and into space]

Ripley: [tearfully] I'm sorry.

Johner: Hey, Vriess, you got a socket wrench? Maybe she just needs an oil change. Can't believe I almost fucked it.

Vriess: Yeah, like you never fucked a robot.

Dr. Wren: Then this little synthetic bitch is gonna plug into the Auriga, and she is gonna take us right back to home base, according to the standard emergency procedures.

Call: No, she's not!

Distephano: Are you crazy? You still wanna bring those things back to Earth?

Johner: Haven't you been payin' attention today?

Dr. Wren: Ah, the intellectual speaks.

Call: You're a thing, a construct. They grew you in a fucking lab.

Call: He is breeding an alien species. More than dangerous. If those things get loose, it's gonna make the Lacerta Plague look like a fucking square dance!

Johner: What's the big deal, man? Fuckin' waste of ammo.

Christie: Let's go.

Johner: Must be a chick thing.

Elgyn: Hey, son, I'll give ya my authorization code. It's E-A, T-M, E.

Johner: [to Call] Kill you! Does that compute?

Purvis: God, I'm so tired.

Johner: Sleep when you die, man.

Dr. Gediman: [after watching the massacre in the mess hall] Security! There is a serious problem in the mess hall!

Dr. Gediman: In the... In the Company?

Dr. Wren: Weyland-Yutani, Ripley's former employer. Terran growth conglomerate. They had defense contracts with the military. Oh they went under decades ago Gediman, way before your time. Bought out by Walmart. Fortunes of war.

Johner: I thought synthetics were supposed to be all logical and shit. You're just a big ol' psycho girl!

Johner: [to Ripley] If you don't want to play basketball, I know some other indoor sports.

Dr. Wren: [ecstatic] And the animal itself - wondrous! The potential? Unbelievable once we've tamed them. We'll teach them tricks.

Ripley: [laughs sarcastically] Roll over, play dead, heal.

Ripley: [to Call] Are you gonna kill me or what?

Johner: Right, you're the "new model" droid. You can access the mainframe by remote.

Call: No, I can't. I burned my modem. We all did.

Call: [about leaving Ripley, who has just been sucked into the alien lair, behind] It's not right!

Purvis: I've been saying that all day.

Ripley: You did it. You saved the Earth.