Deconstructing Harry (1997)

Woody Allen: Harry Block

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harry Block : Tradition is the illusion of permanence.

  Doris : You have no values. Your whole life: it's nihilism, it's cynicism, it's sarcasm and orgasm.

  Harry Block : You know, in France, I could run on that slogan and win.

• Harry Block : All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.

• Harry Block : Does the president think of fucking every woman he meets? Oh sorry, bad example.

• Harry Block : You know, I cannot understand why the most sophisticated of women can't tell the difference between a meaningless, hot, passionate sexual affair and a nice, solid, tranquil, routine marriage.

  Joan : [breaking down]  Tell me, Harry, just tell me something. Was she the only one, or were there others?

  Harry Block : No, Amy Pollock was the only one, may God strike me dead if I am lying.

  Joan : You're an atheist, Harry!

  Harry Block : Wha-hey, we're alone in the universe, you're going to blame that on me, too?

  Joan : [angrily tears papers from typewriter]  Stop your tap-dancing...

• Harry Block : [to his brother-in-law Bert]  I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.

• Harry : [to a suffering damned soul in Hell]  What did you do?

  Damned Man : I invented aluminum siding.

• Harry : Cookie, do you know what a black hole is?

  Cookie : Sure, that's how I make my livin'!

• Harry Block : The most important words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign."

• Harry's Father : I'm a Jew. I don't believe in Heaven.

  Harry Block : Where do you want to go?

  Harry's Father : A Chinese restaurant.

• Doris : It's tradition.

  Harry Block : Tradition is the illusion of permanence.

• Harry Block : I'm a guy who can't function well in life but can in art.

• Burt : Do you care even about the holocaust, or do you think it never happened?

  Harry Block : Not only do I know that we lost 6 million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken

• Harry Block : You're air-conditioned here?

  The Devil : Sure! Fucks up the ozone layer.

• Harry Block : Between air conditioning and the Pope, I chose air conditioning.

• Harry Block : All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

• Harry Block : Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fucking job in the world.

• Harry Block : Six shrinks later, three wives down the line, and I still can't get my life together.

• Harry Block : [to his brother-in-law]  I don't think you're a paranoid. I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that everybody likes you!

• Harry Block : This guy is too old for her.

  Richard : He's younger than you are.

  Harry Block : Hey, I'm much too old for her, it's ridiculous. But, because of my immaturity I have a boyish quality that works.

• Cookie : How come you got all this money?

  Harry Block : I always keep hooker money around, you know, 'cause I once paid by check years ago and the I.R.S. killed me.

• Harry Block : [after sex]  Cookie, you're a definite artist. They should put your lips in the Smithsonian.

• Harry Block : Cookie is the nanny.

  Doris : The nanny! Where did you get her, from an agency or a massage parlor?

  Harry Block : Oh jesus! She's a sweet kid, what are you picking on?

  Doris : Ah, still with the sex pots, the tramps, the vilda chayes.

  Harry Block : Ah, she's got a PhD, this girl.

  Doris : Really? I don't know how she did on her written, but I'm sure she got an A plus on her oral exam.

• Harry Block : The two most important things are the work that you choose and sex.

• Harry Block : And then, after their child was born, she became what he called "Jewish with a Vengeance".

• The Devil : You ever fuck a blind girl?

  Harry Block : No. That I never did.

  The Devil : Oh, they're so grateful.

• Harry : The ironic thing is that the school that kicked me out is honoring me soon.

  Shrink : Why did they kick you out?

  Harry : Because I wasn't interested in college. I wanted to be a writer and that's all I cared about. Also, I tried to give the Dean's wife an enema. They didn't take kindly to that.

• Harry Block : Look, I was merely explaining to you why my choice of necessity is confined to your practice.

• Doris : You're a self-hating jew.

  Harry Block : Hey, I may hate myself but not 'cause I'm jewish.

• Lucy : You schmuck, you bastard. I'd like to cut your fuckin' head off.

  Harry Block : You're upset, right?

• Harry Block : Between air-conditioning and the Pope, I'll take air-conditioning.

• Fay : You love baseball.

  Harry Block : Baseball's easy because it has rules. It has foul lines.

• Harry Block : Can I be honored and then arrested?

• Harry's Sister : You never forgave him because you thought he was a bad father.

  Harry Block : He was!

  Harry's Sister : Thanks for stopping by...