Hercules (1997)

Susan Egan: Meg

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Hercules : Uh, so how'd you get stuck with the...

  Meg : Pinhead with hooves? Well, you know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."

  [Hercules doesn't understand] 

  Meg : Don't worry, maybe Shorty here can explain it to ya.

• Hercules : Aren't you... a damsel in distress?

  Meg : I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.

• Hercules : Meg, when I'm with you, I-I don't feel so alone.

  Meg : Sometimes it's better to be alone.

  Hercules : What do you mean?

  Meg : Nobody can hurt you.

• Hercules : You know, wh-when I was a kid, I-I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.

  Meg : You wanted to be petty and dishonest?

  Hercules : Everybody's not like that.

  Meg : Yes, they are.

  Hercules : You're not like that.

  Meg : How do you know what I'm like?

• Hercules : Meg, why did you... You didn't have to...

  Meg : People do crazy things... when they're in love.

• Meg : Megara. My friends call me Meg; at least they would if I had any friends. So- did they give *you* a name along with all those rippling pectorals?

• Meg : I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.

• Meg : [singing]  If there's a prize for rotten judgment/ I guess I've already won that/ No man is worth the aggravation/ That's ancient history, been there, done that!

• Hades : I'm sorry. You mind runnin' that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something...

  Meg : Then read my lips - forget it!

  Hades : Meg, Meg, Meg, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial, little tiny detail?

  [Hades explodes into flames] 

  Hades : I OWN YOU!

• Meg : Is Wonder Boy here for real?

  Phil : What are you talkin' about? Of course he's real.

  [Phil gets a proper look at Meg] 

  Phil : Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks... I'm real, too!

• Meg : Thanks for everything, Herc. It's been a real slice.

• Meg : Wonder Boy's fielding every curve ball you throw at him.

  Hades : [simpers]  Oh, yeah. Well, maybe I haven't been throwing the right curves at him, Meg my sweet.

  Meg : Don't even go there.

  Hades : He's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness. I mean, for Pandora, it was the box thing. And for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay? All we have to do is find out Wonder Boy's weakness.

  Meg : I've done my part. Get your little imps...

  Hades : They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need somebody who can... handle him as a man.

  Meg : Hey, I've sworn off manhandling.

  Hades : Well, you know, that's good. Because that's what got you into this jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me, to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Meg?

  Meg : Look, I learned my lesson, okay?

  Hades : [hands her a Hercules urn]  Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down Wonder Breath, and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos: your freedom.

  [Meg drops the urn] 

• Hercules : Uh, uh, uh, I'm, um, uh, uh, uh...

  Meg : Are you always this articulate?

  Hercules : Hercules. My... my name is Hercules.

  Meg : Herc... huh. I think I prefer Wonder Boy.

• Meg : He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.

• Meg : Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?

  Hercules : Oh gee, I don't know. Phil has the rest of the day pretty much booked.

  Meg : Aw, Phil, Schmil. Just follow me, out the window, round the dumbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone.

• Meg : [singing]  Ohhhhh, at least out loud I won't say I'm in love.

• Hades : If I say I want Wonder Boy's head on a platter, you say...?

  Meg : [without much enthusiasm]  Medium or well done?

• Hades : I'm sorry. You hear that sound? It's the sound of your freedom fluttering out the window forever.

  Meg : [coughs]  I don't care. I'm not going to help you hurt him.

  Hades : [sighs]  I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy.

  Meg : This one is different. He's honest, and he's sweet...

  Hades : Please!

  Meg : He would never do anything to hurt me.

  Hades : He's a guy!

  Meg : Besides, O Oneness, you can't beat him. He has no weaknesses. He's gonna...

  Hades : I think he does, Meg. I truly think he does.

  [envelops her in his arms] 

• Meg : [after Hercules accidentally breaks the arms off a statue of Venus]  It looks better that way. No, it really does.

• Meg : Hercules! Thank goodness.

  Hercules : Wha-Wha-What's wrong?

  Meg : Oh! Outside of town. Two little boys! Th-They were playing in the gorge! Th-There was this rock slide, a terrible rock slide! They're trapped!

  Hercules : Kids? Trapped? Phil, this is great!

  Meg : You're really choked up about this, aren't ya?

• [after Hercules is mobbed by fan girls] 

  Meg : It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.

• [Meg encounters a rabbit and a gopher in the woods] 

  Meg : Aw, how cute. A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park.

  Pain : [as rabbit]  Who are you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny.

  Panic : [as chipmunk]  A-And I'm his gopher.

• Meg : Phil! Phil, Hercules needs your help.

  Phil : What does he need me for when he's got friends like you?

  Meg : He won't listen to me.

  Phil : Good! He's finally learned something.

  Meg : Look, I know what I did was wrong, but this isn't about me, it's about *him*. If you don't help him now, Phil, he'll die.

• Hercules : I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun!

  Meg : Yeah, neither did I.

• [seeing Hercules hiding from fans behind a curtain] 

  Meg : Let's see. What could be behind curtain number one?

• Meg : What are you doing? Without your strength, you'll be killed.

  Hercules : There are worse things.

• [getting off of Pegasus after riding] 

  Meg : I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.

• Hades : Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut-Meg. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the River Guardian to join my team for the uprising and here I am sort of... River Guardian-less.

  Meg : Look, I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse.