Franklin Hatchett: [Viewing singer Vic Damone on television with Diane Carol] How the hell did an Italian get a fine-ass black woman like that? Shit, he can't sing. Only reason she marry him is 'cause he rich. 'Takin' all our sisters.

Franklin Hatchett: I will slap you man! I will slap the hell outta you. You don't know who you messin' with. I don't even know when I'm gonna slap somebody. My reflexes just slap people. I'm like damn why did I do that? I don't know when I be slapping people. I don't know when I'm gonna slap somebody. You keep messing with me. I'm dangerous! I'm scared of myself. They call me snap and pop cuz I will snap and I will pop yo ass in the mouth! Don't mess with me man. You better watch your back. Watch your goddamn back! Even in the shower! Even on picnics! You better watch your goddamn back. Make a right.

James Russell: I want some answers!

Franklin Hatchett: Hey man, me and Guy just down here, checkin' out some fly rides, and mackin' some hos and chillin'.

James Russell: Imagine that. It's like a G-Dog on a fly tip. Flossin' wit da posse. Cuttin' in da crib. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

Franklin Hatchett: Man, I don't wanna have to beat yo ass, but I will *beat* *yo* *ass*!

James Russell: Don't say anything about my fiance's weight. She's sensitive.

Franklin Hatchett: Man you must have one of them fat assed, Taco Bell, McDonalds eatin' big booty-assed girls.

Franklin Hatchett: You're phat.

Grace Cipriani: Excuse me?

Franklin Hatchett: You're phat. P-H-A-T. Pretty Hot And Tempting.

[Franklin Hatchett is wearing James Russell's favorite suit]

James Russell: You fuck up the suit, we've got a problem.

Franklin Hatchett: Fuck the suit, we've already got a problem!

Raymond Vilard: Long Beach Airport. 3 AM. Hangar Number seven. Keep the diamonds in a plastic bag. They will be weighed.

Franklin Hatchett: Kiss my ass, we meet when I say we meet, you French motherfucker.

[Hangs up phone]

Franklin Hatchett: He'll call back.

[Phone rings]

Franklin Hatchett: Alright, motherfucker, here's the deal...

Mother: Watch your mouth!

Franklin Hatchett: Mama! Mama! I didn't know it was you!

Franklin Hatchett: What you got?

Roland: Dodgers tickets, Lakers tickets and Phantom of the Opera tickets.

Franklin Hatchett: Phantom of the Opera?

Roland: Yeah it's theater, man, you ever been to the theater?

Franklin Hatchett: Man what the hell wrong with you, nobody gonna give a damn about no Phantom of the Opera!

Roland: Franklin, there's money in culture.

Franklin Hatchett: Let me tell you something, Roland, black people don't wanna see that shit. Now I told you to get me some good shit like Luther Vandross tickets or something.

Roland: Luther Vandross ain't culture.

Franklin Hatchett: Fuck culture, give me some good shit, man, people are complaining about these fucked up tickets. You're making me look bad, man.

Franklin Hatchett: [Has just fallen into the river] Cold! It's colder than a motherfucker!

Paula: You better not be over at no girl's house.

Franklin Hatchett: Hell no I ain't at no goddamn girl's house. I'm wanted for muder. I ain't got time to get no pussy.

Paula: What?

Franklin Hatchett: I ain't fucking nobody but you.

Franklin Hatchett: You know guns don't kill people, stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people!

James Russell: Quite an operation you've got, tell me what is going on here?

Franklin Hatchett: I'm a business man, Man, what the fuck you think is going on...?

James Russell: Cut! Cut. You can't use that kind of language on TV.

Franklin Hatchett: What language? What you talkin' 'bout?

James Russell: Fuck.

Franklin Hatchett: Fuck what?

James Russell: You cannot say Fuck on television!

Franklin Hatchett: Man, fuck that man, you're the one who came down here so don't tell me how to talk. Hurry this up I got shit to do.

Franklin Hatchett: This tub wasn't clean you dirty assed white boy!

Guy Supriani: No wedding!

Connie Supriani: We got 300 people coming here.

Guy Supriani: Good, they come here, they eat, they drink, they sing, they go the fuck home! Sorry!

James Russell: I need this for sweeps week!

Franklin Hatchett: Sweeps week? Man fuck sweeps week, my life's on the line and you're talking about a damn broom!

Franklin Hatchett: Hey, man... Me and Guy just down here checkin' out some fly rides, mackin' some hoes, and chillin'...

James Russell: Imagine that... It's like a G-Dogg on a fly tip flossin' with the posse, cuttin' in the crib... WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

James Russell: If you try anything fucked up or funny, I swear to God I will kill you myself.

Franklin Hatchett: Just like you did back on the dock, huh? (Mocking laugh) I will beat your ass.

James Russell: You ain't beatin' shit, homes.

Franklin Hatchett: Whatever man, look I'll hook up the hair, but I ain't touching the earring 'cause I'm still a player!

James Russell: Fine! I gotta make a phone call.


James Russell: And I don't think there's any hot water left.

Franklin Hatchett: What? WHAT? Punk-ass white boy. This tub better be clean.

Guy Supriani: So this James is a murderer, is that it?

Grace Cipriani: No, Daddy, James is innocent.

Guy Supriani: And this other guy, is he Vic Damone's son or isn't he?

Connie Supriani: I don't know.

Guy Supriani: So what are you telling me? He's 100% mouli?

Connie Supriani: Who cares?

Guy Supriani: I had Ma make him a mozzarella omelet! That lying son of a bitch bastard.

Franklin Hatchett: Why you always gotta be killing someone, why dont you try loving someone?

James Russell: Hey hey, Barclay, it's James. How you doing? Listen to me, I've got Franklin Hatchett.

Barclay: Russell, don't play games with me. Words like that give me a stiffy and at my age I can not afford to waste them.

James Russell: Good evening. James Russell, Channel 12 news, I'm doing a report on local night clubs in the area, I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Doorman: Aw, you're the invstigative reporter.

James Russell: Why yes I am.

Doorman: Get the fuck out of here!

Barclay: Who gives a rat's ass about some two bit hustler?

James Russell: The people getting ripped off by this two bit hustler give a rat's ass.

James Russell: Please do something about that hair of yours.

Franklin Hatchett: My 'do is tight.

James Russell: Well every cop in the city is looking for that tight 'do.

Barclay: That was some hard hitting stuff. John Tesh School of Journalism.

Franklin Hatchett: James had a lot of women. Actually, he had all the women.

James Russell: All the women, all the guys, I fucked 'em all!

Connie Supriani: What am I supposed to tell them?

Guy Supriani: You tell'em that our Grace is about to be married to some no-good, limp-dick bastard.

Grace Cipriani: He is NOT limp-dick, Daddy.


Franklin Hatchett: [Overhearing Raymond and Dubray talking] Fifteen million? Fifteen million dollars? Oh, you gotta cut a brother in on that. Hey, we split it three ways. Seven for me,

[to Dubray]

Franklin Hatchett: Seven for you,

[to Raymond]

Franklin Hatchett: And you, you get whatever's left over 'cause you been tripping ever since I met you.

Franklin Hatchett: If I give you the gun, and he shoot me I'm gonna kick yo ass!

Franklin Hatchett: [taking over from James in repeatedly kicking a downed Vincent] We've GOT to GO, man! We've GOT to GO! We've GOT to GO!

Franklin Hatchett: [looking down at Vincent while still kicking him] Don't you EVER call me your DAMN HOMEY, FRENCHY!

Barclay: [to James still standing in front of him] What part of "You're fired" you don't understand?

[someone on the phone starts speaking]

Barclay: I'm not talking to you, asshole. What?


James Russell: Cut! Fucking cut!

Franklin Hatchett: Aaron! What's happening baby, what's popping!

Aaron: What's up, Franklin?

Franklin Hatchett: I tried calling you, but couldn't get through. But anyway, I need your help man. I need some gads on credit.

Aaron: Again?

Franklin Hatchett: Again? Oh, you know that last time wasn't my mistake. That was Little Johnny that messed up the money.

Aaron: Yeah. You know Little Johnny is Invisible Johnny now, right?

Aaron: I know, I went to the funeral, that was fucked up what you did. Closed casket and everything.