Private Parts (1997)

Fred Norris: Fred Norris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jackie : My answer is "cock", and I wrote it really big, so I have a "big cock!"

  Howard : I'm afraid you can't say "big cock" on the air. That's a no-no.

  Robin Quivers : But I just said "pussy".

  Jackie : [whining]  Yeah, she just said *pussy*!

  Howard : Well, pussy's okay. It's the way you say it. "Big cock" coming out of your mouth is, just not good.

  Jackie : Wait a minute. I can't say "big cock", but you can say "big cock coming out of your mouth?"

  Howard : That's right.

  Jackie : That sucks!

  [Pig Vomit, very pissed off, starts running for the studio] 

  Fred Norris : [as Richard Nixon]  Did you just say "big cock coming out of your mouth that sucks"?

  Howard : So Brett, what did you write down?

  Robin Quivers : [as Brett Summers]  Just like the boys, Gene. I've got "cock".

  Howard : Do me a favor. Hold that up for a second so I can see your "cock".

• Howard Stern : Whoooweeee. That's me. This is Lance Lewhatsup at WNBC. WNnnnnnBC, and I am proud to be New York's first ever gay disc jockey. Ever.

  Fred Norris : Ever.

  Howard Stern : Now I want to introduce to you my soul-mate, my love-mate, who I couldn't be without, Mr. Blaxwell.

  Fred Norris : Wilkommen, Bienvenue. Welcome.

  Robin Quivers : Well, it's great to meet you both and it is a pleasure to have you here, but I understand there's already been a problem?

  Howard Stern : Oh, yes. See, I was up in the Program Director's office and his name is Pig Vomit. Because he looks like a pig and he makes you want to vomit. Pig Vomit. So Pig Vomit says to me, "The name of the station isn't WNBC. It is WNnnnnnnBC. WNnnnnnnnBC." That I wasn't saying the call letters properly. It's a big problem. So, to um, *rectify* this, I brought along a cup of Blaxwell's semen.

  Robin Quivers : Semen?

  Fred Norris : I squoze it myself. I hope it's not too tangy.

  Howard Stern : Now I'm going to gargle it, and say the call letters over and over again until I get it right.

  Robin Quivers : Do you really think that'll work?

  Howard Stern : Oh, who cares. 'Cause I just love the taste of a man. Ooooh-ga.

  Fred Norris : Ooooh-ga.

• Robin Quivers : Oh, my God, You just swallowed.

  Howard Stern : I *swallowed*!

  Fred Norris : Waste not, want not, Robin.

  Howard Stern : I want you all to know that I love WNnnnnnnnBC. See, now I can say it WNnnnnnnnnBC.