Spice World (1997)

As I recall, just before this film was released, the laws concerning gun ownership in the UK were changed. This meant that literally thousands of automatic pistols and large calibre revolvers were removed from the hands of the general public. Coincidence? I don't think so.

The government knew that the combination of Spice World and privately owned combat handguns would result in retaliatory strikes against both the countries film and music industries, by vengeance hungry members or the public. I don't own any guns, but I'd have probably joined in anyway, using a broom or a saucepan to dish out some Spice Girl inspired justice on the people that created this film.

In hindsight, this could have saved us from the likes of Atomic Kitten and there would have been a good chance of sorting out Elton John as well. But alas the government foresaw this and here we are, shaking our heads as the British film industry spasms in its continued death throes.

`But it's aimed at kids and Spice Girl fans!' you may shout, thinking that such a statement will somehow appease me. But, you'd be wrong, because the idea of letting those mad harridans, drive around the country in a bus, sing songs or say girl power is almost as insane to me as letting Rosie O'Donnell have her own talk show.

If I worked in a video store and someone tried to hire out this movie then I'd refuse to let them have it, and possibly punch them for good measure. That also goes for Moonwalker.