Starquest II (1996 Video) User Reviews (17)

A little better than reality TV...

[mstomaso · 2/10 · 4 May 2005]

The best thing about Starquest 2, or Galactic Odyssey, or whatever, was definitely the Ed Tomney soundtrack. I was intrigued by the appearance of Adam Baldwin, who made a lasting impression on me during his run on the classic "Firefly" TV series. Though the acting isn't too bad, nobody could have saved this film.

This is an extremely low budget sci-fi film with a lot more ambition than ability. This film is about a group of humans that wake up to find themselves aboard an alien spaceship monitored by video cameras which double as weapons, and being carted off to an unknown destination for an unknown purpose. They are arranged in opposite sex pairs (which might have given any intelligent primates some clue about the aliens' purpose, but never mind, there aren't any intelligent primates to be found). There is a lot of shouting, fighting and sex, and it appears that some of the humans are, in fact, aliens. No sense in continuing, the rest of the plot has to be seen to be disbelieved.

The basic premise is not bad, but the execution and the script are off-the-scale. There are too many continuity problems and absurdities to list.

More or less randomly interspersed with the main narrative are a series of war scenes, which were probably found on the cutting room floor, as they rarely seem to have anything to do with this film and only once show people who are actually in the film. I can just imagine how this happened

***

Bartender: Hey it could be worse. That film you're working on couldn't possibly be as bad as the one I was in.

Drunken Studio Exec: You were?

Bartneder: It was a kick-boxing movie and I had to fight a whole bunch of guys off for some reason - never did have much of a plot. they wanted me for my martial arts skills.

Drunken Studio Exec: Really? What was it called and when was it released?

Bartender: Oh I don't think they bothered with a title, it died in production. In fact, I have some of the original footage at home in my scrapbook. Want to check it out?

***

Unfortunately, the plot is too thin for a feature length film, and the creators decided to fill in the gaps with randomly occurring totally unnecessary sex scenes. The film would have been better as a single episode of a Outer Limits or the Twilight Zone. Even with the exceedingly low budget, most TV franchises could have done a better job with the special effects. There is nothing special about the effects in this one, except for their complete lack of quality.

It would be difficult to find a reason to recommend this, so I won't bother. I gave it a two because it's almost harmless, and therefore not as bad as a lot of what passes as entertainment these days.

Inept attempt at scintillating science fiction.

[capkronos · 2/10 · 25 February 2004]

After Nasa stock footage, recycled Roger Corman space FX (BATTLE BENEATH THE STARS...again!) and an incomprehensible collage from various Corman productions, then the "story" begins. Eight people who awaken aboard a spaceship are being used in "procreation" experiments to eventually host an alien species. People start to die and no one knows what the hell is going on (or how they got there) but still make time to have sex while secret video cameras tape them. A blue energy beam zaps people, an "android" in the wall squishes a guy's head until blood pours out of his ears and an alien finger is thrust into his eyeball in close-up.

The new gore FX are pretty good and the cast looks good, too, in the sex scenes (which seem to have been trimmed from the cable version, called GALACTIC ODYSSEY), but this is still a cheap, pointless waste of time carelessly slapped together by the same guy who directed the equally terrible DEAD SPACE (1990). Maria Ford and Shauna O'Brien are seen in old footage from other movies thrown into the mix in the form of flashback. So is Trimble, in lengthy scenes from one of his old kickboxer movies. Corman was the executive producer and this was part on the ROGER CORMAN PRESENTS... Showtime series.

Score: 2 out of 10 (for the redeeming T&A only)

Ouch!

[Animus · 3/10 · 16 November 2003]

Wow, this movie was bad. Now the acting was decent enough, but its clear the actors had little to work with, they tried to save this stink-bomb but there really was no hope. The story was flimsier than rice paper and the special effects shots were mostly stolen, many from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS. The ship was apparently made of card board and the technology was primitive enough that humans who had never seen the systems could take control and hack the computer. Pathetic. I've seen fan-made films that were far superior in writing and effects. The only reason I gave this move a 3 is that it makes a good MST3K flick, get some friends, get some booze and enjoy heckling it between the few T&A scenes.

Kaleidoscope of Crap with Nice Boobies

[dingo865 · 2 April 2003]

Starquest II (often run on TV as "Galactic Odyssey")is yet another Roger Corman quickie, and regrettably from the producer's very late - and utterly, irredeemably awful - period.

Corman is a legendary producer who has never been all that concerned with quality in his films, but he is famous for giving hundreds of young directors and actors/actresses a fair chance to break into the movie industry by financing their efforts, and so he may be justly credited with the discovery of many great - or at least solid - talents from James Cameron to Helen Hunt. In addition, in the '70s, '80s, and early '90s he also managed to release - among hundreds of other films - quite a few decent B movies across the entire spectrum of escapist entertainment, often with pretty decent sf/x and almost acceptable scripts.

Beginning some time in the mid-'90s, however, Corman started releasing 'montage' movies. These films were literally spliced together from his previous movies, the disjointed sequences glued to each other with a flimsy storyline (usually stuffed with dream sequences and such) and 30-40 minutes of original footage where the action takes place on one or two sets. As an added bonus, these movies feature tons of big-name performers who have no control over what the director does with the footage of their previous appearances. Insidious.

Starquest II is one of the worst examples of this: there is really no story to speak of, nor acting, nor even any consistency. Corman had run out of shame by the time he reached this travesty of celluloid. You will find the by-now-customary starwars-like sequences from his Battle Beyond the Stars (ALL of them...), followed by footage of battles in the Vietnamese jungle that are followed by shots of attack scenes in a North American stone quarry, then sequences from various monster- and cop movies, as well as many other cheapo shots from sci-fi action flicks. Just so you can prepare for the horror: there is, for example, a scene where the aliens talk about how some of their people rebelled against their empire, and the narrator states that these alien rebels behaved not unlike some animal rights activists - and you suddenly find yourself watching scenes from another (circa 1980) movie where HUMANS are releasing animals from their cages!!!

It is not merely a bad movie - IT IS NOT A MOVIE, just a collection of stock footage. It has one redeeming quality, though: there are plenty of - from a North American perspective very explicit - sex scenes, and the starring ladies seem to exhibit less than the usual tonnage of silicon. Strangely enough, in this unnatural beast there are many nice and natural boobies...

Was Robert Englund THAT Desperate?

[Zanatos · 1/10 · 23 April 1999]

I saw "Starquest II" under the title "Galactic Odyssey." It stinks under any title. Having nothing to do with the original, this Roger Corman release is another in a long line of films that steals scenes from "Battle Beyond the Stars," some other movie I couldn't identify, and makes very little sense. Here's a rundown of what I understood:

Various individuals from Earth awake on a spaceship, having few memories of their lives. Wandering around the ship, they come across three people who claim to not know what is going on. In reality, these beings are aliens from a dying race. They have surgically implanted something into some of the humans. Their plan is for the humans to fornicate (yup, it must be a Roger Corman movie) so that their race will continue. But, as expected, there is a mutiny among the aliens, and people being to die off. Blah, blah, blah...

It is hard to figure out what in the world Robert Englund is doing in this movie. He can do so much better. There is nothing in this movie worthy of praise. Start your own "star quest" and look for a movie that actually shines just a little bit. Zanatos's score: 1 out of 10.

It may break your mind but not in a good way.

[Skutter-2 · 1/10 · 22 July 2007]

The description of Mind Breakers (The title of this movie in it's Australian release) on the back of the VHS container is quite misleading. It makes the movie sound like it will be a dodgy and innocuous Thing/Ten little Indians variation with the last survivors of the human race trapped on a spacecraft fleeing the earth getting picked of one by one by one of their own, who might not be human. It doesn't mention the meat of the plot which involves the humans being used in experiment in copulation by some mysterious (and horny) aliens. If it had I mightn't watched it not having acquired a taste for having my sci-fi b-movies spliced with soft core pornography. The presence of real actors such as Robert Englund and Adam Baldwin here is a little surprising- okay, they're not hugely respected actors or stars and generally appear in B-movies but I would have though they were both above soft core porn like this.

Basically 70% of the movie consists of soft core porn scenes or stock footage from other sci-fi and action movies clumsily reinserted into the movie with some pitiful attempts to fit in to the narrative. I didn't realise to now Roger Croamn was involved. The opening 5 minutes of the movie is a compilation of snippets from different movies clumsily spliced together with a bit of voice over narration- a mixture of space battles, some contemporary war stuff, strip club sequences and what looked like some kind of genetic experimentation and surgery footage. I'm not sure but I think this was meant to indicate the breakdown of civilisation on earth as we know it and/or be the nightmares of the main characters. It is really hard to tell. Later on there is a lengthy space battle that clearly came from a different movie awkwardly stuck into the movie in between sex scenes and more of the same footage from the introduction used when the aliens are giving a lecture of the downfall of humanity (Which is awfully preachy for a movie like this). Each of the characters is given an introduction which seems to consist of snippets from other movies the actor/actresses were in- one guy was clearly in a few Kick-boxing movies.

Basically a bunch of humans, consisting of scientists, soldiers and exotic dancers, wake up on this space ship with no idea of how they got there. They soon meet some aliens, who have taken the form of humans, lead by Robert Englund who is pretending to be a priest of some sort, who corral them into a breeding experiment, which is basically an excuse for a whole lot of sex. The ostensible reason of this initially is to rebuild the human race but with only 8 people that is going to be one limited gene pool. It is later revealed that the aliens have some plan which involves interbreeding with the humans, I forget why. There is a confused subplot about a faction of the alien dudes wanting to stop the experiment to maintain genetic purity. It makes less sense than you might think as the only alien seen to get down and dirty with the humans is the one who wants to kill them all because her faction is opposed to the interbreeding thing. There is one head scratching scene with her and Englund, the only two aliens onboard the ship at this point- the other having been randomly killed by an android (Don't ask), in which he explains how he thinks one of them must be from the rival faction but doesn't seem to come to the logical conclusion. Given he presumably knows he isn't the guilty party himself it leaves him with a suspect pool of one and he is warning her he knows. I'm generously presuming this is maybe meant to be a warning on the part of Englund to alien chick to quit it already rather than the writers for this thing being the dumbest people ever (It brings to mind Danny De Vito's attempt to write a two character murder mystery in Don't Throw Momma From the Train). Anyway, there is a whole bunch of screwing, most of the characters die and there are some really bad make effects for the alien transformations and killings- I was starting to fall asleep toward the end of the movie so my memories of the conclusion I kind of hazy.

There one or two weird bits of note relating to the alien tech on the ship. You only have to mention what food you want to eat and a plate of that food will instantly appear in your hand. There is a scene in which Robert Englund orders a plate of meatloaf and mashed potato 'the way his mother made it' and gets it right down to the amount of garlic his mother put in the spuds. Other than this one godlike piece of technology none of the rest of the equipment the aliens use is quite as impressive- they can instantly create matter based on the sensory memories in someone's head but only if it is in the form of food. Strangely enough nobody else is seen to take advantage of this wonderful device- I guess they were all to busy screwing. The other strange device are these lasers that pop out of the ceiling the second that anyone dies and burn the corpse to dust (Leaving the clothing). Why, I'm not sure. I'm also not sure why if they have sensors and weaponry that sophisticated they don't just use it as a security system.

Basically, unless you want to see some generic soft core porn involving Adam Baldwin intercut with shots of a leering Robert Englund or you're some kind of sick, sick masochist stay away.

One of the Worst Science Fiction Picture I Ever Saw

[dromasca · 2/10 · 21 October 2000]

My wife says at least once a week that I picked the worst possible film for us to watch. In this case I almost agree! This is one of the worst conceived and bad acted science fiction movie, and one asks itself who gave the credit to the director to do this movie, and then who let it be released. Avoid this complete waste of time.

Plotless Recycled Corman

[kapecki · 1/10 · 10 June 2003]

Back in 1976, Roger Corman gave two of his trailer editors a few bucks and a chance to make a film. Joe Dante and Allan Arkush turned out "Hollywood Boulevard" by utilizing reels of scenes cribbed from other Corman films. Because the two directors were talented (as their later films would confirm), they managed to create a crazed, outrageous little parody of low-budget movie-making.

Roger tried it again with "Galactic Odyssey" (a/k/a "Starquest II", not that it matters, as there is no relationship to "Starquest"). Alas, writer-director Fred Gallo shows no sign of talent in either trade here.

The resulting splice job is cheap, incomprehensible, and should be an embarrassment to all who participated. Sets are strictly high school drama club. Acting is stilted. And the Swiss-cheese plot seems to be designed solely to use as much footage from other films and stock agencies(there's that mushroom cloud again)as possible while incorporating a handful of soft core sex scenes and a few gore effects.

Even bad film buffs should ignore this one. Even for free.

Awful story, awful film, just dreadful.

[AVickers · 1/10 · 30 November 2002]

Despite the summary above, this film actually does have some saving graces - 3 of them. Well, if you're a young male, that is...

It's not worth talking about the plot of this film, there isn't one. It's not worth talking about the acting, there isn't any; not even from Robert Englund, who (frankly) ought to know better.

However, young men take note: There are 3 pairs of deliciously natural-looking breasts on display at various points in the film. All totally unnecessary for the furtherance of the (non-existant) plot, but nice to see anyway...

Oddly enough, if you're willing to ignore 1h29m of drivel, the final twist at the end actually bears a semblance of originality. Also, watching Jerry Trimble apeing Kurt Russell (albeit badly) is a hoot!

If this film could be awarded zero stars, frankly that'd be all it deserved. One star is way to generous, but as that's the minimum I can give it, that's what it's got.

Aspires to be Grade B, but Fails utterly.

[chucksax · 3/10 · 9 December 2007]

"Galactic Odyssey" - the American title of Starquest II - was a horrible movie. The plot was amazingly bad, and the writing was some of the worst that I've ever seen. The overall premise - a group of humans, kidnapped to start a breeding program on another planet - seems fairly standard. That's when everything starts to break down.

First, the movie is interspersed with a lot of war footage from different places on the planet. None of it has anything to do with the people in the movie. There's a long montage at the beginning of various science fiction stories; none of it has anything to do with the plot of the movie.

Second, the effects and sets are bad. I mean, "Manos, Hands of Fate" bad. The airlock that closes off to prevent the ship from decompressing? You can see the lights on the other side of the door because the door doesn't close all of the way. The "robot" pilot that gets blown out of the broken bridge window because of decompression? He takes a nice stroll over when he's "caught" by the decompression. Just horrible. The "alien" hands on the actors seemed to have been bought from the props department of another movie - another cheap, badly made movie.

Third, the soft-core porn sex throughout this movie was a little bit of overkill. Kate Rodger, Gretchen Palmer and Jolie Jackunas are all hot, no doubt; but, did they really have to have sex every ten minutes throughout the movie? The women that I know would not respond to a "kidnapped at the last second before earth was destroyed" situation by doing it as much as they did. From an entertainment standpoint, this made the movie watchable; from a plot standpoint, it was ludicrous.

Fourth, the plot. Were the humans kidnapped because earth was destroyed, or because it was going to be destroyed? Were they breeding to be "harvested," or breeding to save the human race? Nothing was remotely clear; worse, nothing was remotely consistent. THe story changed as the movie went on.

Eh. There's better porn on the internet. Watch Mystery Science Theater instead.

Only one redeeming feature: Adam Baldwin

[hunca-2 · 2/10 · 7 April 2008]

I gave this a 2 instead of a 1 only because I got to see a lot of Adam Baldwin, and I do mean, a LOT. One has to wonder how on earth (no pun intended) they got ahold of him for this 'film', as well as Robert Englund.

It was quite awhile before I realized the same actor who played Major Mitchell in 'ID4' is the same actor who played Jayne in 'Serenity'. I was so intrigued by my inability to see that they were the same actor (I'm usually very good at recognizing people), that I figured this Adam Baldwin must be one fine actor. When I saw he was also in this even-bad-for-a-Roger-Corman flick , I just had to watch, no matter how bad it was. And, it was. Bad, really bad.

But, I endured, being the 'Firefly'/'Serenity' fan that I am. If I ever get to meet Adam Baldwin in-person, I will just have to ask him, "WHY?"

a very B grade science fiction movie!!As bad as "Supernova"

[Doc_Who · 1/10 · 23 January 2000]

This movie is from Roger Cormen(night of the living dead) only this time he is executive producer!!The plot of what there is of one, is aliens kidnapp several humans including Adam Baldwin(Wyatt Earp) . The humans meet some people on board a spaceship. They are in reality aliens disguised as humans. The aliesn leader is played by Robert Englund(Wishmaster,Urban Legend,Nightmare on Elm Street 1-8). Even though it rated "R" it has a pleanty of nudity almost make a "NC-17". The set are pathetic, the acting very wooden and it moves too slowly!!This movie is almost as bad as "Supernova" , but at least the public was spared seeing this lame B grade movie from the big screen!!

Unintentionally funny

[Stevo-32 · 21 September 1999]

I first saw this film a year ago, under the guise of 'Mind Breakers'. The Satellite TV Guide described it as a 'tense, Sci-fi thriller' and seeing Robert Englund and one of the ubiquitous Baldwins listed as the stars, it couldn't possibly be bad, could it ?.

Unfortunately it is very, very poor. The acting is wooden, the sets are crude, the special effects pathetic and the less said about the plot the better. In fact a core element of what plot there is - the aliens and humans inter breeding - appears to be there in order to pad the film out to a respectable length.

START SPOILER In essence, each repetitive breeding scene consists of the couple "at it", with Robert Englund watching through a hidden camera with his hand across his face, whilst a quasi porno-flick tune plays. A red light also flickers from time to time. After a while this becomes very funny. END SPOILER

As you start to watch this film listen carefully and you'll hear the sound of the bottom of the barrel being scraped.

If I could give this film a rating that reflects how much it made me laugh, albeit unintentionally, I'd give it a 10. Unfortunately I have to grade it

according to what it is supposed to be, so it gets a 1.

START SPOILER After watching this I felt like quoting one of the characters, i.e. : WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MEEEEEEE !!!! END SPOILER

Robert Englund, hang your head in shame and write 100 times "I will not star in cheapo science fiction films"

bought this from my video store... so I could burn it!

[Paul 4774 · 1/10 · 9 October 2002]

Nobody should have to sit through this. Who are the jokers that gave this a 10? Stupid premise, unsatisfying conclusion. The only thing this has going for it is the gorgeous breasts.

Minor spoiler:

My favorite part: when the ship course is changed, and the people on the bridge get thrown all over by the abrupt directional/speed variation while the characters all over the rest of the ship are completely unaware anything had happened.

You'll be heading for a mind snap.

[lost-in-limbo · 2/10 · 12 April 2008]

Err, what messy rubbish. A dull one too. The storyline starts off interesting (well it read more interesting on the back cover on the video case) to only succumb to a plodding, unimaginative peepshow in outer-space of gratuitous soft-core acts and icky effects. What starts off is a collection of stock footage integrated together, and we learn that a group of six have been chosen by an alien race to use in a breeding experiment as the earth has been destroyed in a nuclear blast. But someone or something on the ship is killing them, but still they find enough time to "procreate" before facing the problems at hand, and figuring out just what is happening. The way the characters are introduced to us is obviously taken from other films, and is quite laughable. Well that's some nice promotional work. Even the social commentary card is over-used and too blatant it just made me cringe. Watch out for the animal rights activist sequence! The script is torpidly tepid and convolutely penned with a weak bunch of characterisations and muddled motivations. This is where I would say that the clunky story just got in the way of simple fun in its attempt to be clever. This Roger Corman production goes on to present the usual staples found in these quick, cash-in, bare bones b-features. Director Fred Gallo's clumsy execution is just slipshod and repetitive. As for the jaunty editing, it's complete shambles. As many sequences are all over the place, and look ridiculous. Few visuals work, and the racy T&A (and while you're at it. Smile as Englund has you on candid camera) added some much needed spice. Phoney sets, and shoddily crude effects don't damaged it, but far from make it any more enjoyable. Looking at the cast; Robert Englund floats on by with little interest and Adam Baldwin pretty much does the same thing. There is some stunning buxom in Kate Rodger, Gretchen Palmer and Jeannie Millar. Jerry Trimble pretty much over-kills it, but at least there was someone who wanted to enliven the show. His one-on-one combat with an android provided some kinetic zip, but his action-character felt rather odd in the mix.

Cheap, uninteresting Sci-fi / Horror.

Really, really bad movie

[smatysia · 2/10 · 5 May 2013]

What a really, really bad movie. Adam Baldwin and Robert Englund are seriously slumming here. At first I wondered why it made no sense until it became clear that they were using footage from other movies. Tres cheap. It never got much better. To quote mstomaso "the plot has to be seen to be disbelieved." The sets were visibly cheap, the acting indifferent to bad, especially Jerry Trimble. Ouch. Just awful. Baldwin seemed to try a little, but could not help but be embarrassed by the material. I wonder if his agent got fired. Englund seemed to mail it in. Hard to blame him. The only real redeeming feature was the numerous nude scenes by Kate Rodger, Gretchen Palmer, and especially the lovely Jeannie Millar.

Well.....spoilers ahead...

[rabishopp · 30 November 2002]

Lame movie with no redeeming features apart from the scantily clad ladies. Gruesomely bad. I know lots of wannabees want to be in movies, whatever the cost, whatever the story and whatever whatever. Just don't be in things like this. Do something else.