Lilly: I haven't been this happy since it was okay to take drugs.

Lilly: Oh, well at least I was faithful!

Dan: Yeah, you were faithful like a Kennedy was faithful!

Lilly Leonard: You know what the twenties are for? Having sex with all the wrong people. Not to get married.

Keith Marks: I told you, I have to be on top. I have back problems.

Rowena: Among other things.

[Keith and Molly just discovered her parents together in the next room]

Keith Marks: I thought they hated each other?

Molly De Mora: Well, they're supposed to.

Lilly: [after seeing a red hair on Keith's jacket] Rowena! You're shedding again!

Lilly: I'm not neurotic, I'm just a bitch.

Keith Marks: [At the airport after giving her parents the plane tickets] What are you doing?

Molly De Mora: Annulling your ass!

Keith Marks: [to Molly] You're just like them!

Molly De Mora: [Smiles mischievously] Not yet!

[to Joey]

Molly De Mora: Let's go!

Alan Leonard: What people want in a marriage is what I call emotional valet parking.

Alan Leonard: It is important to dialogue and to language with each other.

Aunt Iris: Phew, I need a drink. Waiter, get over here! No, not you, the young one.

Rowena: [Dan has just returned from what Rowena assumes was a fight with Lillian] Are you all right? You don't even have to talk about it. It must have been awful, trapped out there with that wicked tongue. Well, I hope you gave it right back to her as good as she gave it.

Dan: [pauses and smiles to himself] Oh, I know I did!