Leah: We have been friends since like sperm.
Counter Lady: They're $4.75!
[Robber cocks gun]
Robber: I got .357!
[Brad's buying condoms]
Checkout lady: $4.75.
Brad: Oh, you know what, I'm a little short.
[Checkout lady looks toward his groin]
Brad: No, not that way! I'm short of money. Um. Uh. OK. Have you ever had this dream in life?... And these things
Brad: , these stupid, stupid things could make all your dreams come true? That's what it's like with Brooke. Haven't you ever felt that way?
Checkout Lady: $4.75
Brad: Damn it!
Brad: You know what love is backwards? It's E-V-O-L. Evil! Pure evil! Granted it's spelled differently, but it's the same thing.
[Officer Austin throws the Trojan condom at Brad]
Officer Austin: Hey kid, Make her day.
Leah: I'm vacating this switchlized adolescent display of hedenistic amorality.