Leah: We have been friends since like sperm.

Counter Lady: They're $4.75!

[Robber cocks gun]

Robber: I got .357!

Leah: Is it just you three, or is your entire gender mentally deficient?

Josh: It's pretty much all of us.

[Brad's buying condoms]

Checkout lady: $4.75.

Brad: Oh, you know what, I'm a little short.

[Checkout lady looks toward his groin]

Brad: No, not that way! I'm short of money. Um. Uh. OK. Have you ever had this dream in life?... And these things

[indicating condoms]

Brad: , these stupid, stupid things could make all your dreams come true? That's what it's like with Brooke. Haven't you ever felt that way?

Checkout Lady: $4.75

Brad: Damn it!

Brad: You know what love is backwards? It's E-V-O-L. Evil! Pure evil! Granted it's spelled differently, but it's the same thing.

[Officer Austin throws the Trojan condom at Brad]

Officer Austin: Hey kid, Make her day.

Leah: I'm vacating this switchlized adolescent display of hedenistic amorality.