The Waterboy (1998)

Henry Winkler: Coach Klein

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bobby Boucher : So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.

  Coach Klein : Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.

• [after Bobby demonstrates his tackling ability] 

  Coach Klein : Bobby, can you do that for me every game?

  Bobby Boucher : Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you.

• Coach Klein : Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too.

  Bobby Boucher : No, you people are drinkin the wrong water.

  Coach Klein : Gatorade.

  Bobby Boucher : H2O.

  Coach Klein : Gatorade.

  Bobby Boucher : H2O.

  Coach Klein : [singing]  Water sucks. It really, really sucks. Water sucks.

• Coach Klein : [it's half-time at the Bourbon Bowl and they're in the locker room]  Anybody got an idea?

  [Silence] 

  Derek Wallace : Hey, remember the time Bobby tackled the referee by mistake?

  [Everybody chuckles] 

  Lyle Robideaux : Yeah, that was pretty funny. How 'bout the time Bobby tackled the guy from Louisville, and threw him into the stands?

  [Everybody laughs] 

  Guy Grenouille : Y'all remember the time he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off, and he ran for the touchdown bare ass?

  [Everybody laughs] 

  Farmer Fran : Remember the time Bobby Boucher...

  [Begins to mumble in his southern drawl, and everybody stares at him] 

  Bobby Boucher : [Bobby shows up in the locker room by surprise]  Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl, do ya?

  [Everybody starts cheering and shouting] 

• Guy Grenouille : Hey, moron! Hey! Moron! Duh! L-L-Look at me. I'm th-th-the waterboy. Duh! I got a wooden spoon! Duh!

  Greg Meaney : [Bobby pictures the people who tomented him in the past]  Smells like you need a shower, stinky!

  [Meaney laughs evily] 

  Coach Red Beaulieu : You're fired!

  [Red laughs evilly] 

  Bobby Boucher : [Captain Insano and Jim Simmonds laugh] 

  [Bobby becomes enraged] 

  Bobby Boucher : Stop makin' fun of me!

  Guy Grenouille : Red thirty! Hut!

  [Bobby chases Grenouille, screaming, then ramming and tackling him hard to the ground] 

  Coach Klein : [in amazement]  Wow!

  Derek Wallace : Damn!

• Coach Klein : [after football player spits loogie in water tank]  Are you all right?

  Bobby Boucher : I wasn't gonna do nothin', coach!

  Coach Klein : Well ya better do something. You gotta stick up for yourself, Bobby.

  Bobby Boucher : But what about the finally tuned athletic machine?

  Coach Klein : I am not telling you to go on a shooting rampage!

• Coach Klein : Nice suit!