Marty Kantrowitz: There's no such thing as a nice sixteen year old boy.

Alison Kantrowitz: I never have to listen to you ever again. I saw you. I was there. You should have seen yourself. You looked disgusting! I'm the teenager! Not you! You had your chance.

Pearl Kantrowitz: No. I didn't.

Alison Kantrowitz: Well then why do the rest of us have to suffer just because you fucked up your life!

Lilian Kantrowitz: Do you remember when you were a little boy and you wanted to go swimming with your cousin?

Marty Kantrowitz: Yeah - you didn't wanna let me go because...

Lilian Kantrowitz: Because I knew something terrible was going to happen. I knew your cousin was gonna drown.

Marty Kantrowitz: Yeah, but nothing terrible happened, Ma.

Lilian Kantrowitz: And why is that?

Marty Kantrowitz: Because I was careful.

Lilian Kantrowitz: No. Why did nothing terrible happen?

Marty Kantrowitz: We were extra careful because you told me.

Lilian Kantrowitz: And your cousin wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for me.

Marty Kantrowitz: What's goin' on, Ma? Who's gonna drown?

Lilian Kantrowitz: [pause] You are.

Pearl Kantrowitz: I went to Woodstock.

Marty Kantrowitz: You went to Woodstock.

Pearl Kantrowitz: Ummm...

Marty Kantrowitz: Was it groovy?

Daniel Kantrowitz: Look, hippies.

P.A. Announcer: The blouse man is on the premises.

Marty Kantrowitz: Sometimes things happen between people that make it impossible for them to stay together.

Alison Kantrowitz: Are you and Daddy gonna get a divorce?

Pearl Kantrowitz: I don't know, baby. Sometimes, things happen between people that make it impossible for them to stay together.

Alison Kantrowitz: Look, Mama, I know Daddy's a big square, but he's still Daddy!

[Lilian Kantrowitz is giving Selma Levitsky a tarot reading]

Selma Levitsky: So?

Lilian Kantrowitz: No.

Selma Levitsky: "No"? That's what I pay you for? "No"?

Lilian Kantrowitz: The cards don't lie.

Selma Levitsky: Maybe they're subject to interpretation.

[Lilian picks up a card showing a man lying dead with 10 swords sticking out of his back]

Lilian Kantrowitz: Does this look like a "vacation" card?

Marty Kantrowitz: Did I want a microscope?

Pearl Kantrowitz: Once.

Daniel Kantrowitz: [Dad Marty is driving his family on vacation, mom beside him in front, granny & kids in back; they're singing the Name Game: "Shirley Shirley bo-Birly, Bonana Fana fo-Firley" etc] Let's do "Chuck"

Marty Kantrowitz: No "Chuck". We don't do "Chuck"

Daniel Kantrowitz: You never let me do "Chuck".

Marty Kantrowitz: When you're married you can do "chuck".

[mom raps dad in the arm, smiling]

Marty Kantrowitz: Who is he?

Pearl Kantrowitz: You don't know him.

Marty Kantrowitz: Well what's his name?

Pearl Kantrowitz: Walker.

Marty Kantrowitz: What's his FIRST name?

Pearl Kantrowitz: That IS his first name.

Marty Kantrowitz: Well then what's his last name?

Pearl Kantrowitz: Jerome.

Marty Kantrowitz: Walker Jerome. Does he realize it's backwards? What's he do?

Pearl Kantrowitz: He's a salesman.

Marty Kantrowitz: [laughs] A salesman, that's great. What does he sell?

Pearl Kantrowitz: Blouses.

Marty Kantrowitz: Blouses?

[pauses, then looks shocked]

Marty Kantrowitz: He's the blouseman. You're screwing the blouseman. Jesus, Pearl, why not screw the dressman? At least then you'd get a whole outfit.

Pearl Kantrowitz: I can't go.

Walker Jerome: I saw.

Lilian Kantrowitz: [after the Blouse Man tells her to get some meat tenderizer to treat Danny's wasp bites] Meat tenderizer? What is he - a pot roast?

Lilian Kantrowitz: You gonna hold onto that the rest of the afternoon, Selma?

Alison Kantrowitz: You love the blouseman more than all of us?

Pearl Kantrowitz: No. Sometimes it's easier to be different with a different person.

Pearl Kantrowitz: [Looking at the portable TV in Walker's bus] I've never seen one so small.

Walker Jerome: You like that? My brother picked it up in southeast Asia.

Pearl Kantrowitz: What was he doing over there?

Walker Jerome: Killing people.