Marty Kantrowitz: There's no such thing as a nice sixteen year old boy.
Alison Kantrowitz: I never have to listen to you ever again. I saw you. I was there. You should have seen yourself. You looked disgusting! I'm the teenager! Not you! You had your chance.
Pearl Kantrowitz: No. I didn't.
Alison Kantrowitz: Well then why do the rest of us have to suffer just because you fucked up your life!
Lilian Kantrowitz: Do you remember when you were a little boy and you wanted to go swimming with your cousin?
Marty Kantrowitz: Yeah - you didn't wanna let me go because...
Lilian Kantrowitz: Because I knew something terrible was going to happen. I knew your cousin was gonna drown.
Marty Kantrowitz: Yeah, but nothing terrible happened, Ma.
Lilian Kantrowitz: And why is that?
Marty Kantrowitz: Because I was careful.
Lilian Kantrowitz: No. Why did nothing terrible happen?
Marty Kantrowitz: We were extra careful because you told me.
Lilian Kantrowitz: And your cousin wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for me.
Marty Kantrowitz: What's goin' on, Ma? Who's gonna drown?
Lilian Kantrowitz: [pause] You are.
Daniel Kantrowitz: Look, hippies.
P.A. Announcer: The blouse man is on the premises.
Marty Kantrowitz: Sometimes things happen between people that make it impossible for them to stay together.
[Lilian Kantrowitz is giving Selma Levitsky a tarot reading]
Selma Levitsky: So?
Lilian Kantrowitz: No.
Selma Levitsky: "No"? That's what I pay you for? "No"?
Lilian Kantrowitz: The cards don't lie.
Selma Levitsky: Maybe they're subject to interpretation.
[Lilian picks up a card showing a man lying dead with 10 swords sticking out of his back]
Lilian Kantrowitz: Does this look like a "vacation" card?
Daniel Kantrowitz: [Dad Marty is driving his family on vacation, mom beside him in front, granny & kids in back; they're singing the Name Game: "Shirley Shirley bo-Birly, Bonana Fana fo-Firley" etc] Let's do "Chuck"
Marty Kantrowitz: No "Chuck". We don't do "Chuck"
Daniel Kantrowitz: You never let me do "Chuck".
Marty Kantrowitz: When you're married you can do "chuck".
[mom raps dad in the arm, smiling]
Marty Kantrowitz: Who is he?
Pearl Kantrowitz: You don't know him.
Marty Kantrowitz: Well what's his name?
Pearl Kantrowitz: Walker.
Marty Kantrowitz: What's his FIRST name?
Pearl Kantrowitz: That IS his first name.
Marty Kantrowitz: Well then what's his last name?
Pearl Kantrowitz: Jerome.
Marty Kantrowitz: Walker Jerome. Does he realize it's backwards? What's he do?
Pearl Kantrowitz: He's a salesman.
Marty Kantrowitz: [laughs] A salesman, that's great. What does he sell?
Pearl Kantrowitz: Blouses.
Marty Kantrowitz: Blouses?
[pauses, then looks shocked]
Marty Kantrowitz: He's the blouseman. You're screwing the blouseman. Jesus, Pearl, why not screw the dressman? At least then you'd get a whole outfit.
Lilian Kantrowitz: [after the Blouse Man tells her to get some meat tenderizer to treat Danny's wasp bites] Meat tenderizer? What is he - a pot roast?
Lilian Kantrowitz: You gonna hold onto that the rest of the afternoon, Selma?