Wag the Dog (1997)

Anne Heche: Winifred Ames

Photos 

Quotes 

• [discovering that their "hero" is actually a convict] 

  Winifred Ames : When we asked for "special programs", they gave us special prisons.

  Conrad 'Connie' Brean : Yeah, well... little bit of a difference.

  Winifred Ames : Has he been in jail long?

  Stanley Motss : [reading a file]  Twelve years.

  Winifred Ames : Does he have much longer to serve?

  Stanley Motss : Mmm.

  Winifred Ames : What did he do?

  Stanley Motss : He raped a nun...

  Winifred Ames : Oh, God. Oh, God. Jes... oh, God!

  Stanley Motss : And...

  Winifred Ames : "And"? I don't want to know an "and". Why is there an "and"?

  Stanley Motss : Look, look, look, look, look. He's fine as long as he gets his medications...

  Winifred Ames : And if he doesn't get his medications?

  Stanley Motss : He's not fine.

• Winifred Ames : Why Albania?

  Conrad 'Connie' Brean : Why not?

  Winifred Ames : What have they done to us?

  Conrad 'Connie' Brean : What have they done FOR us? What do you know about them?

  Winifred Ames : Nothing.

  Conrad 'Connie' Brean : See? They keep to themselves. Shifty. Untrustable.

• Winifred Ames : So when we touch down tomorrow, Big Bird is going to meet Schumann at the airport, huh?

  Stanley Motss : Big mistake, big mistake. You gotta bring them in by stages. Big mistake to reveal Schumann before the election.

  Winifred Ames : How so?

  Stanley Motss : Sweetheart, Schumann is the shark. Okay? Schumann is Jaws, you know? You have to tease them. You gotta tease them. You don't put Jaws in the first reel of the movie. It's the contract, sweetheart. The contract of the election, whether they know it or not, is "Vote for me Tuesday, Wednesday I'll produce Schumann." See, that's what they're paying their seven bucks for.

• Winifred Ames : How are we going to explain that when the world is watching?

  Stanley Motss : Fuck the world. Try a ten a.m. script meeting, coked to the gills, no sleep and you haven't even read the treatment.

• [the plane has crashed, leaving Winifred, Stanley, and Connie alone at night in the rain with an "ill" William Sherman] 

  Winifred Ames : Oh, God. What do we do now? Huh? Huh? What do we do now, huh, boy producer? Huh? Mister win-an-Emmy, social-conscience, whale-shit, save-the-rain-forest, peacenik-commie, fuckin'-hire-a-convict-shithead? Huh? What do we do now, liberal, affirmative action, shithead, peacenik commie fuck? What do you want to do now?

  Stanley Motss : This is nothing! Piece of cake! Producing is being a samurai warrior. They pay you day in, day out for years so that one day when called upon, you can respond, your training at its peak, and save the day!

  [all notice a mini TV in the wreckage, playing the opposition's commercial demanding that they produce Schumann] 

  Winifred Ames : [Winifred takes the TV from Connie and throws it down to the ground]  Fuck you!

  Conrad 'Connie' Brean : Leave it alone! What did television ever do to you?

  Winifred Ames : It destroyed the electoral process!

• Winifred Ames : [as their "war hero", William Schumann, slurps anti-psychotic pills out of her hand]  What have you done to me?

  Conrad 'Connie' Brean : Winifred...

  Winifred Ames : *What* have you done to me?

  Conrad 'Connie' Brean : All combat takes place at night, in the rain, and at the junction of four map segments...

  Winifred Ames : *What* are you going to do?