The Wedding Singer (1998)

Matthew Glave: Glenn Guglia

Photos 

Quotes 

• Billy Idol : How you doing, Sir? Chicken or Fish?

  Glenn : You better get out of my way, Billy. You're gonna get hurt.

  Billy Idol : Oh, yeah?

  Large Billy Idol Fan : Don't you talk to Billy Idol that way.

• Glenn : [after punching Robbie]  You know, you should write a song about this. You could call it "I got punched in the nose for sticking my face in other people's business".

  [he and his friends walk off laughing] 

  Old man in bar : Sounds like a country song!

• Glenn : Hey, asswipe, don't go snitching to Julia about this. I know you got a little crush on her, but you gotta face the facts: she'd rather go to bed with a REAL man. Not some poor singing orphan.

  Robbie : All right, shithead. I haven't been in a fight since I was in the fifth grade, but I beat the shit out of that kid, so now I'm going to beat the shit out of you.

  [Old guy throws a weak punch at Glenn and misses horribly] 

  Robbie : Hey, what are you doing, man?

  Old Man in Bar : I'm sorry. I used to be much stronger.

• Robbie : I don't even know your last name.

  Glenn : It's Guglia.

  [says it Gulia] 

  Robbie : Guglia? Oh, so Julia's last name's gonna be Guglia. Julia Guglia! That's funny!

  Glenn : [unamused]  Why is that funny?

  Robbie : I - don't know.

• Glenn : You better get out of my way, Billy, or you're gonna get hurt.

• Robbie : [Robbie notices Julia's fiancee is flirting with another woman across the room, so he tries to provoke him to talk]  That is a luscious ass right there isn't it? Mmm. My God.

  Glenn : That's Grade A top choice meat!

  Robbie : I'd like to bite right through that thing, arg! You know, chew on it.

  [Glenn starts laughing in agreement] 

  Robbie : But we can't get chicks like that anymore. We're too old.

  Glenn : Speak for yourself. I'm not too old. I can still get chicks like that.

  Robbie : Not that hot though, right?

  Glenn : Gotten hotter.

  Robbie : Ten years ago!

  Glenn : Try ten *days* ago.

  Robbie : Really... As hot as that?

  Glenn : Hotter, and younger.

  Robbie : How do you do it, man? I mean how do you do it without getting caught?

  Glenn : Julia's totally preoccupied with the wedding. She doesn't know what's going on.

  Robbie : Oh man. You know what sucks though? Once you get married, the party's over, right?

  Glenn : I work in the city, man. And I work long hours.

• Robbie : [Glenn offers him a drink after Jason insults him]  No, I'm not a big drinker.

  Glenn : Well I am, how about an "Alabama Slammer"?

  Glenn's buddy : Sounds like a plan.

  Robbie : Yeah, go ahead, have a few drinks and, you know, drive home.

• Glenn : Who are you going out with?

  Holly : Robbie.

  Glenn : Oh good, that guy needs to get laid.

  Holly : Excuse me! Just because he's going out with me doesn't mean he's going to get laid.

  [Glenn and Julia look at her] 

  Holly : ... All right, he probably will.

• Glenn : This is a great idea. I'm glad you came around. You want to do some gambling and have some fun right away, or you just want to get married?

• Robbie : Hey. I kissed her, but it didn't mean anything, I just brought her the jacket.

  Glenn : Kissed who?

  Holly : Oh, me.

  Glenn : Who hasn't?

• Julia : Hey, Glenn, do you mind if we switch seats so I sat in the window seat?

  Glenn : Mmm. I hate the aisle seat. Every time that drink cart comes by it bangs me in the elbows.

• Holly : God, I love David Bowie. He is SO sexy.

  Glenn : You think the "time to make the donuts" guy is sexy.

  Robbie : Heh heh, that guy is funny.

• Holly : [about Robbie]  I'm going to go out with him.

  Glenn : Going out with who?

  Holly : Robbie.

  Glenn : Good, that guy needs to get laid!

  Holly : *Excuse me*! Just because I go out with him doesn't mean he'll get laid.

  [Glenn and Julia give her a dirty look] 

  Holly : . OK, he probably will.