Wild Wild West (1999)

The opening credits of this film were highly entertaining, and the closing credits featuring Will's WWW rap was fun as well. Everything in between was a pure, unadulterated, steaming pile of crud! I sat and marveled at the drek that was being spewed out on the screen from this supposedly Summer Blockbuster movie and was totally stupefied. I've seen bad movies before, and I've certainly seen my share of big-budget, special-effects money machines - but none was as poorly conceived as this. What makes it even more amazing is that we had actors with at least a proven track record of success. We had a director (Barry Sonnenfeld) who has managed to put together his share of successful movies. And if this weren't enough, there was a pant load of big explosions and digital effects! So what went wrong?

The script, the script, the script. It boggles my mind that this screenplay actually made it to production. The dialogue was atrocious. The attempts at humor were pathetic. The characters had about as much depth as the screen they were being projected on. Hayek's character was completely pointless, and had less than no reason to be there. The repeated exchange of racial/disabled insults between the black Jim West and the legless Dr. Loveless was shameful. It seemed that about every twenty minutes Kline's character launched into a diatribe reiterating the plot, and articulating what they were doing and why. I can only assume this was intended for the audience members who had just woken up and needed to get caught up with the "action."

My biggest regret in seeing this film is that wish I could have warned you earlier not to see it. I'm sure there are several movie fans out there right now who unwittingly fell victim to this movie, and are at this moment still lying in bed with the covers pulled over their heads, swearing they'll never go to the theater again as long as they live. Don't go see this movie, don't let your kids see this movie, don't even recommend it to people you truly despise. If, on the other hand, you have a morbid fascination with the continuing devolution of Hollywood and aren't afraid to face definitive evidence that our culture is moments away from claiming creative bankruptcy, this one is a must see.