Victor Van Dort: With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

The Corpse Bride: I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. But now - now I've stolen them from someone else. I love you, Victor, but you are not mine.

Bonejangles: Hit it, boys. Hey! Give me a listen, you corpses of cheer,/Least those of you who still got an ear./I'll tell you a story make a skeleton cry/Of our own jubiliciously lovely corpse bride!

Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Bonejangles: Well, our girl was a beauty known for miles around/When a mysterious stranger came into town./He was plenty good-lookin', but down on his cash./And our poor little baby, she fell hard and fast/When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope/So our lovers came up with a plan to elope!

Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Bonejangles: [after instrumental] That's right. Okay. Oh, yeah. Come on, boys, pick it up. Yeah. Like it. Okay, Chancy, take it. Yeah. Yeah! That's nice. Yeah. So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night./They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight./Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove./You don't need much when you're really in love./Except for a few things, or so I'm told,/Like the family jewls and a sachel of gold./Then next to the graveyard by the old oak tree,/On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three,/She was ready to go, but where was he?

Short Dead Cook: And then?

Bonejangles: She waited.

Short Dead CookMrs. Plum: And then?

Bonejangles: There in the shadows, was it her man?

Short Dead CookMrs. PlumTall Dead Cook: And then?

Bonejangles: Her little heart beat so loud!

Short Dead CookMrs. PlumTall Dead CookPaul The Head Waiter: And then?

Bonejangles: And then, baby, everything went black./Now when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust./Her jewels were missin' and her heart was bust./So she made a vow lyin' under that tree/That she'd wait for her true love to come set her free./Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand./Then out of the blue comes this groovy young man/Who vows forever to be by her side./And that's the story of our own corpse bride!

Bone Boys: Die, die, we all pass away/But don't wear a frown 'cause it's really okay/And you might try and hide/And you might try and pray/But we all end up the remains of the day/Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Corpse Bride: Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away. Well, it would if I had any.

The Corpse Bride: I've spent so long in the darkness, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is.

[the Corpse Bride recognizes Lord Barkis]

The Corpse Bride: You!

Barkis Bittern: Emily?

[Lord Barkis and Emily are shocked to see each other]

The Corpse Bride: You!

Barkis Bittern: But, but I left you.

The Corpse Bride: For dead!

The Corpse Bride: Get out!

Barkis Bittern: Oh, I'm leaving.

[evil laugh]

Barkis Bittern: [picking up the wine goblet] But first! A toast, to Emily. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! Tell me, my dear, can a heart still break once it's stopped beating? Hm?

Victor: With this candle... I will set your mother on fire.

Victor Van Dort: I've got a... I've got a dwarf, and I'm not afraid to use him!

Old Woman: [hitting skeleton with her walker] Bounder!

Alfred the Skeleton: Sweetie pie!

Old Woman: Monster!

[hits him again]

Alfred the Skeleton: Buttercup.

Old Woman: Cad.

Alfred the Skeleton: GERTRUDE!

Old Woman: [adjusts her glasses] Alfred? Oh! You've been dead for fifteen years!

Alfred the Skeleton: [grabs old woman] Frankly, my dear,

[dips old woman]

Alfred the Skeleton: I don't give a damn!

[kisses her]

Maggot: [singing] What does that wispy little brat have that you don't have double?

Black Widow Spider: [singing] She can't hold a candle to the beauty of your smile!

The Corpse Bride: How about a pulse?

Maggot: Overrated by a mile!

MaggotBlack Widow Spider: [singing] Overvalued! Overblown! If he only knew the you that we know!

Black Widow Spider: [singing] And that silly little creature isn't wearing his ring.

Maggot: [singing] And she doesn't play piano,

MaggotBlack Widow Spider: [singing] Or dance, or sing. No she doesn't compare!

The Corpse Bride: But she still breaths air...

MaggotBlack Widow Spider: Who cares?

Maggot: Unimportant!

MaggotBlack Widow Spider: [singing] Overrated! Overblown! If only he could see how special you can be; if he only knew the you that we know.

The Corpse Bride: [singing] If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. If you cut me with a knife, it's still the same. And I know her heart is beating, and I know that I am dead; yet the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real, and it seems that I still have a tear to shed.

Maggot: [singing] The sole redeeming feature from that little creature is that she's alive.

Black Widow Spider: Overrated!

Maggot: Overblown!

Black Widow Spider: [singing] Everybody knows that's just a temporary state, which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate.

Maggot: Who cares?

Black Widow Spider: Unimportant!

MaggotBlack Widow Spider: [singing] Overrated! Overblown! If only he could see how special you can be; if he only knew the you that we know.

The Corpse Bride: If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. In the ice or in the sun, it's all the same. Yet I feel my heart is aching; thou it doesn't beat, it's breaking; and the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real. I know that I am dead; yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed.

Victoria Everglot: Hildegard, what if Victor and I don't like each other?

Maudeline Everglot: Hmpf! As if that has anything to do with marriage. Do you suppose your father and I "like" each other?

Victoria Everglot: Surely you must, a little.

Maudeline EverglotFinnis Everglot: Of course not!

Victor Van Dort: I want some questions! Now!

General Bonesapart: Answers... I think you mean answers.

Victor Van Dort: Thank you, yes, answers. I need answers.

Victor Van Dort: [trying to practice his vows] With this hand, I will cup your...

[unconsciously holds hands before his chest in a suggestive manner, and is then horrified]

Victor Van Dort: Oh goodness, no!

Solemn Village Boy: [the little boy walks away from his frightened family and toward one of the skeletons] Grandpa?

The Corpse Bride: We need to go up. Upstairs? To visit the land of the living.

Elder Gutknecht: Land of the living? Oh, my dear.

The Corpse Bride: Please, Elder Gutknecht.

Elder Gutknecht: Now, why go up there when people are dying to get down here?

Victor Van Dort: Sir, I beg you to help. It means so much to me... us.

Elder Gutknecht: I don't know. It's just not natural.

The Corpse Bride: Please, Elder Gutknecht. Surely there must be something you can do.

Elder Gutknecht: Let me see what I can do.

The Corpse Bride: [about Victor's dead dog, Scraps] What a cutie.

Victor Van Dort: You should have seen him with fur.

Town Crier: In other news... THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!

[last lines]

Victor Van Dort: Wait. I made a promise.

The Corpse Bride: You kept your promise. You set me free. Now I can do the same for you.

[Bonejangles creeps up behind Finnis; his eye falls into Finnis' bowl]

Finnis Everglot: There's an eye in me soup.

Pastor Galswells: [holding the dead off] Begone, ye demons from Hell! Back to the void from whence you came! You shall not enter here! Back... back... back.

Skeleton: Keep it down, we're in a church!

Maggot: Let me at him! Let me at him! Don't hold me back!

Elder Gutknecht: [holding crowd back] Wait! We must abide by their rules! We are amongst the living.

Barkis Bittern: Well said.

[drinks potion]

Maggot: [after Lord Barkis drinks potion] Not anymore!

Elder Gutknecht: Yep. You're right. He's all yours.

[Victor has snuck away from the Corpse Bride to find Victoria and listens to the arguing Everglots]

Finnis Everglot: If ever I see that Van Dort boy, I'll strangle him with my bare hands!

Maudeline Everglot: Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin. You'll have to use a rope.

Black Widow Spider: Married, huh? I'm a widow.

[Victor runs away]

Black Widow Spider: Oh, how rude! He went that way!

Victor Van Dort: We're moving this wedding party upstairs.

Dead Woman: Upstairs? I didn't know we had an upstairs.

Skeleton boy: Sounds creepy!

Skeleton Girl: Let's go!

Finnis Everglot: [as corpses run amuck] If my grandfather Everglot could see this, he'd be turning in his grave.

Grandfather Everglot: Finis.

[next to a portrait of himself in life]

Grandfather Everglot: Where do you keep the spirits?

[shakes wine glass]

Finnis EverglotMaudeline: AAAAAAAHHHH!

The Corpse Bride: Maybe perhaps he does belong with her.

[sarcastic tone]

The Corpse Bride: Little Miss Living, with her rosy cheeks and beating heart.

Emil: Lord and Lady Everglot, Mr. and Mrs. Van Dort.

William Van Dort: [to Maudeline] Why... you must be Miss Victoria. Yes, I must say you don't look a day over twenty. No. Oh, yes.

The Corpse Bride: [angrily, grabbing Victor] Hopscotch!

Victor Van Dort: No, no! Victoria!

Elder Gutknecht: Just remember, when you want to come back, say "Hopscotch."

The Corpse Bride: Hopscotch?

Elder Gutknecht: That's it.

The Corpse Bride: [about Victor] He's not my boyfriend, he's my husband.

Victor: [to the corpse of Scraps] Play dead... Oh, sorry.

Elder Gutknecht: [officiating over the wedding ceremony of Victor and Emily] Dearly beloved... and departed...

Maudeline Everglot: [to Victoria] Get those corsets laced properly! I can hear you speak without gasping.

The Corpse Bride: And I thought... I thought this was all going so well.

Barkis Bittern: Would you care to repeat tonight's headline for us?


[lowers voice]

Town Crier: And now the weather. Scattered showers...

Barkis Bittern: Enough! That will be all.

The Corpse Bride: [after chasing Victor through the forest] You may kiss the bride.

Nell Van Dort: [singing] It's a beautiful day!

William Van Dort: [singing] It's a rather nice day.

Nell Van Dort: [singing] A day for a glorious wedding!

William Van Dort: A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear.

Nell Van Dort: A rehearsal for a glorious wedding!

William Van Dort: Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know.

Nell Van Dort: That nothing unexpected interferes with the show.

Nell Van DortWilliam Van Dort: [singing] And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...

Nell Van Dort: [singing] According to plan!

William Van Dort: Our son will be married!

Nell Van Dort: [singing] According to plan!

William Van Dort: And our family carried,

Nell Van DortWilliam Van Dort: [singing] Elevated to the heights of society!

Nell Van Dort: To the costumed balls!

William Van Dort: In the hallowed halls!

Nell Van Dort: Rubbing elbows with the finest!

William Van Dort: And having crumpets with Her Highness!

Nell Van DortWilliam Van Dort: [singing] We'll be there! We'll be seen! Having tea with the queen! We'll forget everything... that we've ever ever been!

Victor Van Dort: But I don't even know your name.

Maggot: [from inside the Corpse Bride's head] Well, that's a great way to start a marriage.

The Corpse Bride: [grasps head and hisses] Sshh! Shut up!

[smiles at Victor]

The Corpse Bride: It's Emily.

Mrs. Plum: New arrival!

Maudeline Everglot: [speaking] Marriage is a partnership, a little tit for tat; you'd think a lifetime watching us


Maudeline Everglot: might have taught her that, might have taught her that.

Finnis Everglot: Everything must be perfect.

Maudeline Everglot: Everything must be perfect.

Maudeline EverglotFinnis Everglot: Everything must be perfect, perfect!

Maudeline EverglotFinnis EverglotNell Van DortWilliam Van Dort: That's why everything/every last everything/every single tiny microscopic little thing must go... According to plan!

Maudeline Everglot: [singing] It's a terrible day.

Finnis Everglot: Now, don't be that way.

Maudeline Everglot: It's a terrible day for a wedding.

Finnis Everglot: It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in.

Maudeline Everglot: That has led to this ominous wedding.

Finnis Everglot: How could our family have come to this?

Maudeline EverglotFinnis Everglot: To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riches?

Maudeline Everglot: They're so common.

Finnis Everglot: So coarse.

Maudeline Everglot: Oh it couldn't be worse!

Finnis Everglot: Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree. They could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy without a penny to their name. Just like you and me.

Maudeline Everglot: [speaking] Oh, dear!

Maudeline EverglotFinnis Everglot: [singing] And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...

Maudeline Everglot: According to plan!

Finnis Everglot: Our daughter will wed.

Maudeline Everglot: According to plan!

Finnis Everglot: And our family led...

Maudeline EverglotFinnis Everglot: From the depths of deepest poverty...

Maudeline Everglot: To the noble realm...

Finnis Everglot: Of our ancestry.

Maudeline EverglotFinnis Everglot: And who would've guessed in a million years, that our daughter with the face...

Finnis Everglot: Of an otter in disgrace...

Maudeline EverglotFinnis Everglot: Would provide our tickets to our rightful place?

Finnis Everglot: [to Victor, who wants to put out the fire on Mrs. Everglot's dress] Out of the way, you ninny!

Maggot: You don't know me, but I used to live in your dead mother.

The Corpse Bride: [after her hand escapes her arm and dances up Victor's arm] Pardon my enthusiasm.

Victor Van Dort: [snapping her hand into place] I like your enthusiasm.

William Van Dort: You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor.

Nell Van Dort: Now, all you have to do is reel her in.

Victor Van Dort: I'm already reeling, Mother. Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something?

Nell Van Dort: Oh, nonsense. We're every bit of good as the Everglots. I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.

Victor Van Dort: But I've never even spoken to her.

Nell Van Dort: Well, at least we have that in our favor.

[Mayhew coughs]

Nell Van Dort: Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing!

Victor Van Dort: Do forgive me.

Victoria Everglot: You play beautifully.

Victor Van Dort: I-I-I do apologise, Miss Everglot. How rude of me to... Well... Excuse me.

Victoria Everglot: Mother won't let me near the piano. Music is improper for a young lady. "Too passionate", she says.

Victor Van Dort: If I may ask, Miss Everglot... where is your chaperone?

Victoria Everglot: Perhaps, in... in view of the circumstances... you could call me Victoria.

Victor Van Dort: Yes, of course. Well... Victoria...

Victoria Everglot: Yes, Victor...

Victoria Everglot: Since I was a child, I've dreamt of my wedding day. I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, isn't it?

Victor Van Dort: Yes, silly. No. No, not at all, no.

Victoria Everglot: [knocks over a vase]

Victor Van Dort: Oh, oh, dear. I'm sorry.

Paul The Head Waiter: Coming through, coming through. My name is Paul, the head waiter. I will be creating your wedding feast.

Maggot: [popping out the Corpse Bride's eye] Wedding feast, I'm salivating.

The Corpse Bride: [pushing the maggot back into her eye] Maggots.


Victor Van Dort: What's going on here? Where am I? Who are you?

The Corpse Bride: Well, that's kind of a long story.

Bonejangles: What a story it is. A tragic tale of romance, passion and murder most foul.

The Corpse Bride: [meeting Victoria] Darling, I just wanted to meet... Darling, who's this?

Victoria Everglot: Who is she?

The Corpse Bride: I'm his wife.

Victoria Everglot: Victor?

Victor Van Dort: Victoria, wait. You don't understand. She's dead. Look!

Skeleton: [drunk] Women. Ya can't live with 'em, ya can't live without 'em.

[Falls to the floor and breaks into many pieces]

Victor Van Dort: Tomorrow, Victoria, we are to be...

[struggles to say "married"]

Victor Van Dort: Mmmm... mmmm... mmmm...

Victoria Everglot: [small giggle] ... married.

Victor Van Dort: Yes, married.

The Corpse Bride: Darling... where are you going?

Victor Van Dort: *Home*!

General Bonesapart: This is going to be good.

Maudeline Everglot: What impropriety is this? You shouldn't be *alone* together! Here it is, one minute before five, and you're not at the rehearsal. Pastor Galswells is waiting. Come at once.

Maudeline Everglot: Good heavens, Finis, what should we do?

Finnis Everglot: Fetch me musket!

Mayhew: [about Victoria's marriage to Lord Barkis] I guess they didn't want to waste the cake!

Maggot: If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say that you'd lost your mind!

Black Widow Spider: [speaking to Emily regarding Victoria] Oh, those girls are ten a penny. You've got so much more. You've got - you've got - you've got a wonderful personality!

The Corpse Bride: ...I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason... for taking so long...

Maggot: Oh, I am sure he does. Why don't you go ask him?

The Corpse Bride: All right, I will!

Maggot: After all, he couldn't get far - with those cold feet...

The Corpse Bride: [to Maggot] Go chew on someone else's ear a while.

Pastor Galswells: Dropping the ring!

Maudeline Everglot: Oh, no, he's dropped the ring!

Pastor Galswells: This boy doesn't *want* to get married!

[first lines]

Town Crier: Hear ye, hear ye, ten minutes to go 'til Van Dort's wedding rehearsal.

Nell Van Dort: [dreamily] I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.

Barkis Bittern: [disrupting the wedding] Oh, how touching. I always cry at weddings. Finally, our two young lovers are together at last. Surely now they can live happily ever after? But you forget...

Barkis Bittern: [snatches Victoria] She's still my wife! And I'm not leaving here empty-handed!

Barkis Bittern: [to the Everglotts and Van Dorts] Do call for me if you need my assistance...

Barkis Bittern: [glances at Victoria] in *any way*.

Barkis Bittern: [looking at a portrait of Victoria] Oh, my dear. Don't look at me that way. You have only to suffer this union untill death do us part. And that will come sooner than you think...

Bonejangles: I love a woman with meat on her bones!

Pastor Galswells: [holding a squirming Victoria] She is speaking in tongues, of unholy alliances! Her mind has come undone, I fear!

Victoria Everglot: It's not true! Let me go! Let me go!

Nell Van Dort: Blimey, it's my dress is caught.

Mayhew: Begging your pardon, ma'am.

William Van Dort: Come on, dear.

Nell Van Dort: It's not me. It's my dress that's caught. Where is Victor? We might be late.

Maudeline Everglot: Fish merchants!

Nell Van Dort: [to Victor] Look at the way your standing, You look like you've got rickets or something.

Maudeline Everglot: [to Finnis] Smile, darling, smile.

Finnis Everglot: Well, hello. What a pleasure. Welcome to our home.

Nell Van Dort: Oh, thank you.

Maudeline Everglot: We'll be taking tea in the west drawing room. Oh, do come this way. It's just through there.

Pastor Galswells: Master Van Dort, from the beginning. Again. "With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine". Let's try it again.

Victor Van Dort: Yes, yes, Sir.

Pastor Galswells: [to Victor] Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?

Pastor Galswells: Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared! Young man, learn your vows!

Nell Van Dort: Oh, I'm sure he'll be back shortly. He's terrified of the dark. In fact, when he was a boy, he used to wet his combinations, regularly, didn't he, William?

Victor Van Dort: Ah, Mrs. Everglot. You look ravishing this evening. What's that, Mr. Everglot? Call you "dad"? If you insist, sir.

Victor Van Dort: Please, there's been a mistake. I'm not dead.

Victor Van Dort: Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this. But then again, she never approved of anything.

The Corpse Bride: Scraps... Elder Gutknecht... Are you there? Hello? Is anyone home? Hello? There you are!

Elder Gutknecht: Oh, my dear. There you are.

The Corpse Bride: I've brought my husband, Victor.

Elder Gutknecht: What's that? Husband?

Victor Van Dort: Pleasure to meet you, sir.

Elder Gutknecht: Where did I put that book? I left it here somewhere. There's the one. I have it. A Ukranian haunting spell. Just the thing for these quick trips.

The Corpse Bride: So glad you thought of this.

Victor Van Dort: Me too.

Elder Gutknecht: Now, then... Where were we?

The Corpse Bride: The Ukranian haunting spell

Elder Gutknecht: Ahh... Here we have it. Ready?

Maudeline Everglot: Finis, come to bed at once.

Victoria Everglot: Can the living marry the dead?

Pastor Galswells: What on Earth are you speaking about?

Victoria Everglot: Please, it's Victor. He's married to a corpse. He has a corpse bride. There must be some way to undo what's been done.

Pastor Galswells: I believe I know the thing to do. Come with me.

Maudeline Everglot: Take her to her room!

Victoria Everglot: No, I'm telling the truth. Victor needs my help.

Nell Van Dort: Oh, it's almost dawn! Where could he be?

Town Crier: Victor Van Dort elopes with corpse! Heartbroken bride to wed wealthy newcomer!

Nell Van Dort: Wealthy newcomer? It cannot be.

William Van Dort: Did he say corpse?

Nell Van Dort: Oh, don't be ridiculous. What corpse would marry our Victor?

[Mayhew coughs]

Nell Van Dort: Oh, Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing! Mayhew, are you trying to kill us? I think he's trying to kill us!

Maudeline Everglot: Oh, Finis. Who invited these people? They must be from your side of the family.

Victoria Everglot: Did things not go according to your plan, Lord Barkis? Well, perhaps in disappointment, we are perfectly matched.

Victor Van Dort: I want very much to.

Pastor Galswells: Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?

Victor Van Dort: The ring. Yes, of course.

[Victor drops the ring]

Pastor Galswells: Dropping the ring. This boy doesn't want to get married.

Maudeline Everglot: How disgraceful!

Victor Van Dort: Excuse me. Got it!

Finnis Everglot: Marvelous news. There will be a wedding after all.

Victor: Look, I am terribly sorry about what's happened to you and I would like to help. But I really need to get home.

The Corpse Bride: This is your home now.

Victor Van Dort: Emily.

The Corpse Bride: Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you. It's a wedding present.

Victor Van Dort: [opens the box and finds a bone] Haah. Thank you.

[Victor's present turns out to be his dead dog Scraps, who is now a dog skeleton]

Victor Van Dort: Scraps? Scraps. It's my dog, Scraps. Oh, Scraps. What a good boy?

The Corpse Bride: I knew you'd be happy to see him.

Victor Van Dort: Who's my good boy. Sit! Sit, Scraps. Good boy, Scraps. Roll over, roll over.

Maudeline Everglot: Victoria, come away from the window.

Maudeline Everglot: Ah, Lord Barkin. I trust the room is to your liking.

Barkis Bittern: Thank you. You are a most gracious hostess, which is what pains me to be the bearer of such bad news.

Nell Van Dort: [about Victor] Mystery woman? He doesn't even know any women.

Barkis Bittern: So you thought.

Maggot: [after Emily loses her leg and falls down] Psst, hey, I think you dropped something.

The Corpse Bride: [to Victor] In the woods, you said your vows so perfectly

Victor Van Dort: [to himself] I did!

[starts hitting his head on the bar]

Victor Van Dort: Wake up wake up WAKE UP.

Bonejangles: [chasing a large woman] Hey, come back! Ooh, I love me a lady with meat on her bones!

The Corpse Bride: It's my eye, isn't it?

[pops loose eye into skull]

Victor Van Dort: No! Your eye is uh, lovely.

Mrs. Plum: [Goes over to dead Mayhew] Coming through! Coming through!

[Shakes his hand]

Mrs. Plum: My name's Plum. *Miss* Plum

Mrs. Plum: Ohhh!

Pastor Galswells: Miss Everglot, what are you doing here? You should be at home, prostrate with grief.