Small Soldiers (1998)

Robert Picardo: Ralph, Clean Room Technician

Quotes 

• Ralph, Clean Room Technician : The chips are a little sensitive to EMP.

  Irwin Wayfair : EMP?

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Electomagnetic Pulse. As in the kind generated by the detonation of a nuclear device? I doubt that the toy industry has become quite that competitive.

• Irwin Wayfair : So, Larry, let me get this straight, you used my password to order surplus military chips that might be dangerous?

  [Air blast's in the room they're in startling Irwin] 

  Larry Benson : Hey, hey, hey, hey! It's okay, it's okay. That's supposed to happen. See? "Clean Room"

  Irwin Wayfair : Right.

  Larry Benson : Clean. Let's just go in. You all right?

  Irwin Wayfair : Yeah, yeah. Mhmm.

  Larry Benson : That's him. That's Ralph. Hi.

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Who are you? You don't belong here.

  Larry Benson : I'm Larry Benson. You supplied my division with some microchips.

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Oh, yes. Larry Benson. The X 1000. Worked out better than you dreamed, didn't they?

  Larry Benson : Actually there was a little bit of a problem.

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Then it's with your software.

  Irwin Wayfair : Uh, I don't think there's a problem with the software, Ralph.

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Oh, you don't? The X 1000 is a masterpiece. Imagine a microchip sophisticated enough to control the the guidance systems of ballistic missiles. Imagine it can be used to instantly upgrade any system that it's plugged into. Like a smart drug for machines. Then imagine it can learn.

  Irwin Wayfair : W-what are you talking about? Artificial intelligence?

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : No. Actual intelligence. It's no wonder those philistines at the Pentagon couldn't appreciate it. One little flaw and they scrap the whole project.

  Irwin Wayfair : Aha!, so there is a flaw in the chips.

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Well.. they're a little bit sensitive to E.M.P.

  Irwin Wayfair : E.M.P.? Electromagnetic pulse?

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Yeah, you know, the kind generated by the detonation of a nuclear device? I doubt even the toy industry has become quite that competitive. They said adequate shielding wasn't cost-effective. Did the Medicis ever tell Michelangelo, ''Sorry Mike, but marble's not really cost effective. Here's a bag of cement'' I think not!

  [sneezes] 

  Irwin Wayfair : Gesundheit.

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Thank you.

  Larry Benson : Look, they're really shouldn't be any problem right just 'cause the chips can learn.

  Ralph, Clean Room Technician : Am I not being clear? They can learn within the boundaries of their primary programming. Whatever the core programming, the X 1000 enhances it from within. So if you've got a problem, it's in your software.