Y'all Come

Obviously aimed at the slob division of the adult market, Y'ALL COME is a crudely slapped-together porn film that makes Bethel Buckalew's popular Southern-fried soft-X drive-in hits look sophisticated. Its revival on DVD has been met with thunderous silence.

Credits are phony, with the same cast list of fake names (not pseudonyms, just boilerplate that doesn't match up to real people, film after film) as displayed for other films including MORTGAGE OF SIN.

Shot MOS, with very poorly synched dialog, film plays like a long, long, LONG stag loop. A white guy and a Black guy, both barefoot, are wandering along when a girl strips in the distance and beckons them. They arrive where five girls are hanging out and have an orgy. That's the entire film, shot entirely outdoors.

The white boy delivers four money shots to his compatriot's two, winning the competition signaled by the film's title. Eventually the white boy wakes up and it turns out to "all be a dream", with both of them fleeing in fright when the original girl shows up and beckons them, for real this time.

The women aren't attractive at all, and one redhead is rather disgusting, her crotch covered in flies, which she never bothers to flick aside, either here or when they swarm on her face during a blow job. If this was meant to be erotic, then I'm living on the wrong planet.

Music begins in the corn-pone mode, but soon segues to funk and the inevitable Muzak-ized version of Stevie Wonder's hit "Living for the City".

Befitting its consistent lack of quality, "THE END" is superimposed on a slide of a painting of a female posterior, the least original of porn tropes.