7 March 2003 | servo-9
Crap with capital C, R, A and P
I'm glad there is documentary proof on IMDB that someone else has seen this film. It's so incredibly bad that I have wondered for years if I just dreamt it all. It's hard to see how Zarindast, reputation for woeful movies notwithstanding, could have really been playing this straight. It works as a comedy, being not a million miles from Naked Gun territory at times, but as anything else it is a monstrosity.
Cliche follows misfired stunt follows non-actor cameo follows cliche, etc, etc, ad nauseum, as the incoherent plot stumbles to a violent conclusion.
Structurally, it plays like two unrelated episodes of a very bad TV show. I saw it on Sky Movies in Ireland around 1992, and it was billed as "A cop goes undercover against the Mob", or some such, but the film seems to have nothing at all to do with the Mob. Instead, it seems to be about the kidnap of two glamour models by a bunch of bumbling idiots with machine guns.
The best bit is when our hero zooms across a car park on a motorbike, trying to prevent the bad guys from escaping in a helicopter. They must have done it in one take, because the helicopter has to hover for ages to give our hero time to reach it and then attain a tenable position on the leg things underneath the fuselage. The helicopter rises to an altitude of a couple of hundred feet. The bad guy in the passenger seat just sits there, hands on knees, looking at our hero, apparently unperturbed, until our hero reaches up and throws him to his death. Cuts then to a long shot of a dummy falling from a chopper.