1 January 2008 | Nodriesrespect
They Make Everything Groovy !
As porn's theatrical era was drawing to a close, genre pioneer Alex De Renzy who exploited the notorious Screening Room theater in the early '70s came full circle, returning to the short subjects ("loops" being the correct industry term) that had jump-started his career. Collections thereof like BALL BUSTERS and DIRTY GIRLS can't help but feel feather-weight next to the director's far more elaborate classics from the previous decade, revered romps he seemed now quite content to merely serialize, albeit with well above average results as proved by BABYFACE 2 and PRETTY PEACHES 2 & 3. Sexually, the Old Master never lost his golden touch though, even when resorting to the "grab bag" approach that inevitably marks most of these so-called "loop carriers", a format perhaps not invented but certainly perfected by Howard Ziehm with movies like HONEYPIE, HOT COOKIES and SWEET CAKES.
Narrated in disarming airhead fashion by fly by night starlet Jill Ferrari (who appeared all too briefly in movies like Lawrence T. Cole's atmospheric HOUSE OF STRANGE DESIRES and John Seeman's cult film waiting to happen MISSING PIECES), WILD THINGS is comprised of a series of sexual scenarios attempting to fulfill the promise held by the title. Things get off to a rocky start with what is undoubtedly the weakest segment as the happy home of Patti Petite and Billy Dee is invaded by escaped convicts Ashley Grant (also in the director's scorching LET'S GET IT ON) and Mauvais DeNoire, an overlooked black starlet who made a touching contribution to Sam Weston's RED GARTER. A chemistry deficit keeps this sequence from firing on all cylinders. Fortunately, there's better in store. Kimberly Carson provides a sympathetic miniature as a woman seeking the help from sex surrogate Herschel Savage to attain the conception her husband's incapable of, leading to a tender tryst to the strains of "Danny Boy", inspired scoring to say the least ! Curvy Tess Ferre (the girl in the weird opening scene of Paul G. Vatelli's uneven BEVERLY HILLS COX) and Buck Adams attempt to alleviate marital boredom through ever more outlandish sexual positions while another betrothed pair, bountiful Robin Cannes (who played a memorable part lusting after brother Craig Roberts in Kirdy Stevens' sublime TABOO IV) and John Leslie, engage in burglar and victim role-playing to the same end.
The best stuff is saved for last with an all time Sapphic scorcher between superstar Christy Canyon and achingly pretty Ali Moore, star of Jerome Bronson's amusing Getting' READY, that could serve as a demo piece for fledgling pornographers on how to shoot and edit this type of material for maximum knockout effect. The remaining sequence depends on which version of the movie you happen to come across. Originally, De Renzy had crafted a terrific remake of his legendary '70s loop PAROCHIAL PASSION PRINCESS with Traci Lords in all too appropriate Catholic schoolgirl outfit making horny gardener Jamie Gillis whose filthy interior monologue really makes the scene a very happy man indeed. As everyone's well aware by now, Lords was revealed as being under age when she made most of her subsequently retracted and/or re-edited romps. Therefore, the director replaced it with an almost equally scalding set-up involving Brazilian bombshell Elle Rio (memorable in Fred Lincoln's SHE COMES IN COLORS) who has inadvertently invited both of her boyfriends, Jon Martin and Tom Byron, on the same day with the guys teaching her a lesson in front and rear double penetration. While I'm slightly inclined towards Traci's tease number, it would be hard to deny that De Renzy went to great lengths to make up for its enforced absence. If, like me, you're lucky enough to come across the French video release (as LE SEXE SAUVAGE) however, you will find that you can have your cake and eat it too as this is the only version to the best of my knowledge that actually includes both loops. Ah, bliss !