I'm quite outspoken about the elephantine nature of 21st Century porn, with sex scenes now typically 20 to 45 minutes long, virtually real-time, with money shots postponed interminably. The stupid (on purpose) comic strip ripoff "Big Abner" goes to the other extreme - a dozen sex scenes in an hour, with faked cum shots, real cum shots repeated over and over, and a mindlessness beyond belief.
It's termed a "sex romp", one of the worst descriptions ever invented for porn, and internalized by at least one IMDber who uses that term as often as a Valley Girl says "like". What that really means is sex slop, a jumbled assemblage of would-be corn-pone humor (this movie makes the "Hee-Haw" TV series play like Noel Coward) and tight closeup XXX footage.
Erstwhile mainstream actor and latter-day right-wing nut Sonny Landham proudly takes the title role and I would say makes a fool of himself but considering the circumstances (and his career choices) that's impossible. Auteur "Mell Green" or whoever directed for producer Leonard Kirtman has structured this so that 3 sex scenes mixing the small cast take place at a time, with cross-cutting between them. Effect is pacy, but uninvolving, and is a mode that has truly gone out of style in porn.
The women are not quite skanky but close enough to make the sex scenes unarousing. Attempts at humor by Bobby Astyr as both grandpappy and baby Yokum stolen from Al Capp are truly terrible, with his phony white hair and beard plus idiotic infantile impersonation beneath contempt.
Plot line of a G-man, stiffly impersonated by Alan Marlow, offering $2 million for a plot of land where Abner is sort of building his honeymoon cottage (5 years overdue and counting) is easy to follow via endless repetition, with overall film making the comic strip seem mighty deep by comparison.
All told, it plays better as a trailer than a feature film. Sloppiness is the single word to sum up this enterprise, so slovenly made that when the truly anonymous actor playing the Mayor (wearing a 3rd-rate Mad Hatter hat suitable for a Lewis Carroll ripoff instead) calls the heroine Daisy Mae instead of "Crazy Lay" as she's known, the flub is left in and he merely says his line over again corrected, with no fear of prosecution for plagiarism.
