Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)

Katie Holmes: Leigh Ann Watson

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Quotes 

• Leigh Ann Watson : It's completely factual, she was ultimately burned at the stake. It's documented.

  Mrs. Tingle : Always the victim, aren't we, Miss Watson?

  Leigh Ann Watson : Well there are certain similarities between society today and seventeenth century Salem. I guess that would be the irony of it all.

  Mrs. Tingle : I'm well aware of what Irony is, Miss Watson. You, however, should consult your dictionary.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Of course, I wasn't suggesting that it was...

  Mrs. Tingle : Irony is the opposite of what is or might be expected. For example, if Miss Watson was expecting an A on her history project, she might find the actual result to be - rather ironic.

• Leigh Ann Watson : I'm gonna burn in hell for this.

  Luke Churner : It'll be a party!

• Leigh Ann Watson : Oh, Mrs. Tingle, threats are a sign of weakness.

• Leigh Ann Watson : What's the matter, Mrs. Tingle? Getting scared yourself?

  Mrs. Tingle : Oh no! Ms. Watson, things are just starting to get fun.

• Leigh Ann Watson : I am not scared of you.

  Mrs. Tingle : Who do you think you're fooling? You're so scared I can smell it. Your fear is the most predictable thing about you. You've lived your whole life in fear. Terrified of making a mistake, scared to death you won't get that A, that ticket out. Afraid you'll never escape your mother and her name tag. Or your father who won't return your calls. That's why you shunned Luke and every other boy who has ever tried to put his hands on you. You're afraid of getting that bad seed. Afraid of giving birth to a child you never wanted. A child you could only blame for your own wretched existence. Stuck in a small town with a small name. Destined to become that very thing you despise the most. I know all about it, Leigh Ann. I wrote the book! I know you.

• Leigh Ann Watson : Listen, I need your senior prophecy for the last issue. The deadline's tomorrow.

  Jo Lynn Jordan : I don't know what to say. I hate that senior shit.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Just think of where you'll be in 20 years.

  Jo Lynn Jordan : You're the writer, do it for me.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Okay, how about, Miss Jo Lynn Jordan, famous film star, last seen...

  Jo Lynn Jordan : In rehab popping Percodan, recently divorced from gay husband.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Perfect.

  Jo Lynn Jordan : What does yours say?

  Leigh Ann Watson : I haven't done mine yet.

  Jo Lynn Jordan : Allow me. Leigh Ann Watson, famous journalist, wins the Pulitzer Prize for her personal yet searing account of being a 38 year old virgin.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Watch it.

  Jo Lynn Jordan : Simple reminder.

• Jo Lynn Jordan : It was this little voice inside of me that just said, Do it!

  Leigh Ann Watson : That's why it's a little voice, Jo Lynn. You're not supposed to listen to it.

  Jo Lynn Jordan : No, Leigh Ann. You've gotta listen.

• Faye Watson : Look at this. This is brilliant. My little girl the writer. You're gonna make it. You're gonna get out of here. I just know it.

  Leigh Ann Watson : You didn't do so bad.

  Faye Watson : Yeah. But you're gonna go all the way.

  Leigh Ann Watson : So, you really think this is an A?

  Faye Watson : You're the A. That teacher of yours isn't gonna know what hit her.

• Luke Churner : Tempting, isn't it? Sort of brings up all those moral questions.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Slither away.

• Leigh Ann Watson : What do you suggest, we kerosene the place?

• Leigh Ann Watson : You can't go to a teacher's house at night. It's inappropriate.

• Leigh Ann Watson : I gotta go home and check on my mom. She likes to leave cigarettes burning.

• Jo Lynn Jordan : Oh, it is wicked.

  Leigh Ann Watson : And wrong and immoral, and...

  Luke Churner : So is she.

• Leigh Ann Watson : This can't be the only way to get into college.

• Leigh Ann Watson : Well, if we're gonna go down, we might as well make it count, right?

• Mrs. Tingle : I resent what you're going to do with that life. Selfish, mindless pursuits of your generation - will only bring us closer to destruction, and I despise it.

  Leigh Ann Watson : That is *not* good enough, Mrs. Tingle. if you're disillusioned with the youth of today, you have no one to blame but yourself.

• Mrs. Tingle : Your move.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Why are you like this? Why are you so bitter and angry? Why do you want to destroy me?

  Mrs. Tingle : I don't want to destroy you. I want to teach you.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Oh, that is bullshit.

• Mrs. Tingle : Always the Salem witch. Completely innocent, wrongly accused.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Ironic, isn't it?

  Mrs. Tingle : You still don't know what that word means. Metaphoric, yes. Symbolic, maybe. But there's no irony involved. Would you please look that word up?

• Luke Churner : Oh, God. I've wanted this. I've dreamt about this, exactly this.

  Leigh Ann Watson : Yeah? Don't ruin it.

• Leigh Ann Watson : You just want to see me fail.

  Mrs. Tingle : It's your destiny. Haven't you learned by now that history always repeats itself?