- Tyler Durden: [1:10:11] Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
- Tyler Durden: Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.
- Tyler Durden: [42:50] Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
- Tyler Durden: [1:24:27] You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
- Narrator: You're making a big mistake, fellas!
- Police Officer: You said you would say that.
- Narrator: I'm not Tyler Durden!
- Police Officer: You told us you'd say that, too.
- Narrator: All right then, I'm Tyler Durden. Listen to me, I'm giving you a direct order. We're aborting this mission right now.
- Police Officer: You said you would definitely say that.
- Tyler Durden: Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
- Narrator: [1:04:30] Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.
- Narrator: [12:56] When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake.
- Narrator: [34:11] Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?
- Tyler Durden: C'mon, do me this one favor.
- Narrator: Why?
- Tyler Durden: Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?
- Narrator: No, but that's a good thing.
- Tyler Durden: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.
- Narrator: This is crazy.
- Tyler Durden: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
- Narrator: I don't know about this.
- Tyler Durden: I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?
- Narrator: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?
- Tyler Durden: That's right.
- Narrator: What, like in the face?
- Tyler Durden: [beat] Surprise me.
- Narrator: This is so fucking stupid...
- [Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head]
- Tyler Durden: Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear!
- Narrator: Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.
- Tyler Durden: Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?
- Narrator: Guess I fucked it up...
- Tyler Durden: No, that was perfect!
- Tyler Durden: [22:28] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
- Narrator: So you can breathe.
- Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
- Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.
- Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
- Marla Singer: - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?
- Narrator: If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
- [Poem on Narrator's computer]
- Narrator: [55:00] Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave.
- Narrator: [20:35] A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
- Woman on Plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
- Narrator: You wouldn't believe.
- Woman on Plane: Which car company do you work for?
- Narrator: A major one.
- Tyler Durden: [29:10] It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.
- Narrator: There's always that.
- Tyler Durden: [1:03:32] Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children? So be it!
- Narrator: OK. Give me some water!
- Tyler Durden: Listen, you can run water over your hand and make it worse or...
- [shouts]
- Tyler Durden: Look at me... or you can use vinegar and neutralize the burn.
- Narrator: Please let me have it... *Please*!
- Tyler Durden: First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die.
- Tyler Durden: [1:23:50] Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.
- Narrator: Marla's philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't.
- Tyler Durden: Hey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!
- Tyler Durden: We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.
- Tyler Durden: [1:02:39] The first soap was made from heroes' ashes, like the first monkey shot into space.Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space.
- Narrator: [while brutally beating Angel Face] I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.
- Narrator: [1:52:23] Tyler, what the fuck is going on here?
- Tyler Durden: I ask you for one thing, one simple thing.
- Narrator: Why do people think that I'm you? Answer me!
- Tyler Durden: Sit.
- Narrator: Now answer me, why do people think that I'm you.
- Tyler Durden: I think you know.
- Narrator: No, I don't.
- Tyler Durden: Yes, you do. Why would anyone possibly confuse you with me?
- Narrator: Uh... I... I don't know.
- [Random flashbacks]
- Tyler Durden: You got it.
- Narrator: No.
- Tyler Durden: Say it.
- Narrator: Because...
- Tyler Durden: Say it.
- Narrator: Because we're the same person.
- Tyler Durden: That's right.
- Narrator: Oh, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer.
- Tyler Durden: Yeah, man.
- Narrator: I should find a hotel.
- Tyler Durden: [in disbelief] What?
- Narrator: What?
- Tyler Durden: A hotel?
- Narrator: Yeah.
- Tyler Durden: Just ask, man.
- Narrator: What are you talking about?
- Tyler Durden: [laughs] Three pitchers of beer, and you still can't ask.
- Narrator: What?
- Tyler Durden: You call me because you need a place to stay.
- Narrator: Oh, hey, no, no, no, I didn't mean...
- Tyler Durden: Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask.
- Narrator: Would - would that be a problem?
- Tyler Durden: Is it a problem for you to ask?
- Narrator: Can I stay at your place?
- Tyler Durden: Yeah.
- Narrator: I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more.
- [after vigorous sex with Tyler Durden]
- Marla Singer: [52:52] My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.
- Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is?
- Narrator: It's a comforter...
- Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? No. What are we then?
- Narrator: ...Consumers?
- Tyler Durden: Right. We are consumers. We're the by-products of a lifestyle obsession.
- Narrator: Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.
- Narrator: [9:01] And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.
- [meeting aboard an airliner]
- Narrator: [23:04] What do you do for a living?
- Tyler Durden: Why? So you can pretend like you're interested?
- Marla Singer: I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar.
- Narrator: It was worth every penny.
- Marla Singer: It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it's on the side of the road.
- [Grabs Narrator's crotch]
- Marla Singer: Tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out. Bound with electrical tape.
- Narrator: Well, then it suits you.
- Marla Singer: You can borrow it sometime.
- Narrator: Bob is dead, they shot him in the head!
- Tyler Durden: You wanna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.
- Narrator: Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.
- [to the Narrator who has just fired a warning shot into the window of an explosives filled van]
- Tyler Durden: [2:07:41] WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE!
- [while burning the Narrator's hand with lye]
- Tyler Durden: [1:03:07] Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
- Narrator: No, no, I... don't...
- Tyler Durden: Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
- Narrator: It isn't?
- Tyler Durden: We don't need him!