Big Daddy (1999)

Rob Schneider: Delivery

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Julian and the Delivery Guy are learning how to read] 

  Julian : Electricity! Constitution! Philadelphia!

  Nazo : Fish! Pony! Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you! You gave him the easy ones.

• Julian : I wipe my own ass.

  Nazo : Me too.

• Tommy : How long have you delivered food to Mr. Koufax?

  Nazo : I deliver food for six years. Plus, I'm stripper. But I've gained weight so that's a problem.

  Tommy : I see. And, in your experience, was Sonny a good father to Julian?

  Nazo : Oh, yes. They make terrific pair. They went together like lamb and tuna fish.

  Tommy : Lamb and tuna fish?

  Nazo : Maybe you like spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy?

  Homeless Guy : Yes, considering we're in America. I mean, if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs, why don't you get the hell out?

  Nazo : Listen, I'll come down there and give you a crew cut, Mister.

  Homeless Guy : Let's see your clippers.

  Nazo : Not my problem your father was sick.

  Homeless Guy : That - well - -Stop yelling at me! AAAhhhhhhhh!

• Nazo : This is bullshit! Should have same rules for everyone, no matter what age!

• [discussing Julian's doll Scuba Steve] 

  Nazo : I had doll like that once. But my cat, he bite his head off!

  Julian : What kind of cat would do that?

  Nazo : You calling me a liar?

• Nazo : What are your cards?

  Julian 'Frankenstein' McGrath : I got a six, a five, a Jack, a four and an eight. I win!

  Sonny Koufax : What do you mean "you win"? I had a hand just like that before, I didn't win?

  Julian 'Frankenstein' McGrath : Because I win.

  Nazo : This is bullshit!

  Sonny Koufax : Alright, take it easy man.

  Nazo : Every time different cards, he still wins?

• Nazo : [to Arthur Brooks]  Hey, I remember you. You always order three piece of cheesecake!

  [Arthur Brooks looks embarrassed] 

• Nazo : [at Sonny's door]  I had call for delivery in building, but I think it was crank call.

  [holds up a bag] 

  Nazo : Want some chocolate cake?

• [Sonny has left his apartment leaving Nazo in charge of Julian] 

  Julian : [jumping on the couch signing along to the kangaroo song]  Would you like to come and play? We'll hop, hop, hop, hop...

  Julian : [hits Nazo on the head with a paperback book]  ... WHAT DO YOU SAY?

  [the doorbell rings] 

  Nazo : Get the door!

  [Julian leaves to answer the door] 

• [after Sonny insisted to his father he would be a better father to Julian, people in court are making phone calls to their respective parents] 

  Phil D'Amato : Hello dad. Yeah, I just wanted to say I love ya.

  Ted Castellucci : Hi, mom? Could you put dad on the phone for a second?

  Nazo : Your son been so kind to papa.

  Homeless Guy : [to the man seated in front of him who is calling on his phone]  Can I borrow that when you're done?

  Lenny : Your honor, my son deserves this kid.

  [everyone in court cheers in support as Sonny and Lenny hug each other] 

  Homeless Guy : [by this time, the Homeless Guy has finally managed to call his father]  I love you too, sir.

  [the Homeless Guy makes a salute gesture]