Kevin Cooney: NORAD Colonel
Quotes
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[Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar]
Radar Operator : Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel : What is it, son?
Radar Operator : I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot : Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot : Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman : Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man : [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman : Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant : Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire : Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire : What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher : Wang. pay attention.
Wang : I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician : Willie.
Willie : Yeah?
Musician : What's that?
Willie : [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel : Johnson.
Radar Operator : Yes, sir?
Colonel : Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
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Colonel : We've had reports that there's a spy in the Ministry of Defense. The contents of this room are vital to the country. Be on special alert.
Fat Bastard : Yes sir.
Colonel : And, uh, try to lose some weight, for God's sake.
Fat Bastard : Yes sir.
[Under his breath]
Fat Bastard : Mister English Colonel tellin' me to lose weight. "Oh, I'm a hard case" he says.
[louder]
Fat Bastard : Well, listen up, sonny Jim: I ate a baby. Oh, aye, baby. The other, other white meat. Baby, it's what's for dinner.
