Clint Howard credited as playing...
Radar Operator Peters
- [Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar]
- Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
- Colonel: What is it, son?
- Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
- Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
- Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
- Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
- Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
- Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
- Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
- Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
- [looking up from game]
- Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
- Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
- Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
- Musician: Willie.
- Willie: Yeah?
- Musician: What's that?
- Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
- Colonel: Johnson.
- Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
- Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
- Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?
- Radar Operator: No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge...
- Teacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or...
- Friendly Dad: Wiener? Any of your kids want another wiener?
- Friendly Son: Dad, what's that?
- Friendly Dad: I don't know, son, but it has great big...
- Peanut Vendor: Nuts. Hot, salty nuts. Who wants some?...
- Peanut Vendor: Lord Almighty!
- Woman: That looks just like my husband's...
- Circus Barker: ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster!
- Cyclops: RARRR.
- Cyclops: Hey, what's that? It looks like a...
- Fan: Woody. Woody Harrelson. Could I have your autograph?
- Woody: Sure. Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing!
- Fan: It's so huge.
- Woody: No, I've seen bigger. That's...
- Dr. Evil: Just a little prick.