Hughie: [v.o] If it's true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then drummers are from Pluto.
Hughie: [last lines, voice over] I was wrong about God. Turns out he likes that 70's stuff after all. So it didn't piss down, and they played 4 encores! And with the Almighty in their corner, who knows what might happen? And how will the Fruits conspire to bollocks things up this time around? We wait with bated breath.
Les: [pointing to at the girls T-Shirt] Where did you get that T-Shirt
Beano: Looks like '77's been through the wash a few times
Dutch Lady: 'Tis my father's, he say best band he ever saw.
Dutch Lady: My father, he died.
Les: Oh... That's a shitter.
Ray Simms: It's another sign, Brian sent them.
Beano: [Playing a game to name bands with parts of the body as part of their name] Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show!
Clare: Objection, your honor!
Hughie: Objection sustained.
Beano: Well, some people 'ave hooks instead of hands.
Les: Yeah, but it's not part of the body; it's not... anotomical.
Beano: It is if you haven't got a fuckin' hand!
Karen Knowles: Tell me Astrid, how are Kirby, Steele and Oakes?
Astrid Simms: I don't listen to their music.
Karen Knowles: They're your estate agents, the ones trying to offload Wuthering Heights, so don't pretend you don't need this.
Astrid Simms: You are a bloody nosy bitch Karen, and also a slut. I remember Isle of Wight.
Luke Shand: You people are really something, you know that? All you want is a few free drinks and a chance to tear people down. Those guys deserve a bit more respect. You bunch of wankers!
[reaming the journalists who just finished grilling band members at a press conference]
Hughie: History teaches us that men behave wisely once they've exhausted all other alternatives. For most rock bands, the pursuit of wisdom's a low priority compared to fame, fortune and fornication. Such a band was Strange Fruit.
Tony Costello: [to Les and Beano] Chrissake. This was about us. This was our second shot, and it was working. Anybody who was at Antwerp saw it. We were fucking brilliant; we were better than we ever were. We were a great band. You stupid bastards, why couldn't you bury the past before it buried us?
Ray Simms: I'm not fifty. I'M NOT FIFTY!
Hughie: It's like 'Night of the Living Dead Two'! I'm gonna get some of those Organ Donor cards!
Les: Why do they always assume the singer is the voice of the band?
[as journalists swarm Ray Simms and ignore the other members]
Karen Knowles: This could be a great time to bring out some reissues, maybe even a box set.
Clive: Oh, listen to you, sweetie! 20 years ago you were Neil Gaydon's doormat.
Karen Knowles: Well, 10 years ago you were a tea boy at Virgin, Clive. Came to you first.
Clive: Only because I own their catalog.
Hughie: [voiceover] Karen still had ink on her fingers from school when she went to work for the Fruits. Started by sorting their laundry; by Wisbech she was sorting their lives.
Beano: [to the Lady In Black] So you're not from the Inland Revenue, then?
Hughie: Feast your eyes on this magnificent land yacht: tinted windows, air conditioned, twin porto-loos - not to mention an extensive library of pornography courtesy of the Psychedelic Furs world tour of 19 and 88. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!
Tony Costello: Hey, Hughie, pongs in here a bit. Think one of the Furs is still in here.
Hughie: That's pedigree, Tony
Hughie: . Smell that Dettol, fag ends, vomit!
Les: Hey, it's supposed to be rock and roll, man, not The Phantom of The Fuckin' Opera!
[reacting to Ray's garish outfit and stage act]
Beano: What do you think then, Luke?
Luke Shand: I thought we were shit, guys.
Les: Kill that racket, Hughie.
Beano: Come again?
Luke Shand: We were totally crap, I mean, especially on 'Heartbreaker'. I think we should dump that altogether.
Tony Costello: It's a classic!
Luke Shand: Well, maybe we should agree on what key it's in.
Ray Simms: C.
Tony Costello: G.