21 January 2006 | Nodriesrespect
How I Spent My Summer Vacation
As the title flashes across the screen, a teacher's voice-over warns her charges at the beginning of the summer holidays to "stay busy little beavers, because an idle mind is the devil's workshop". Yep, I guess this must be another one of Shaun Costello's teen gone bad sagas.
This time around it's 15-year old Suzanne, an appealing curly-haired blonde I can absolutely offer no further identification for. As mom and dad (portrayed by A TASTE OF BETTE's Pola Black and Ron Dorfman a/k/a fornication filmmaker "Art Ben", the bald Broadway producer making up the threesome with Vanessa Del Rio and Jean Dalton in THE FIRE IN FRANCESCA) are off on their second honeymoon to New York, virginal Suzanne's pressured into going all the way with boyfriend Roger, an endearingly gawky apprentice stud who looks somewhat like Tom Byron circa 1984.
Supposedly, this is all taking place in Chicago but Costello's choice of anonymous outdoor locations clearly indicates that this was shot in New York just like the rest of his 'oeuvre' at the time. Seeking solace from bad girl older sis Esther (played by underrated Clea Carson, an enticing short-haired brunette with a streamlined slender physique), she's advised to just go for it and enjoy the experience. While Suzanne has her cherry popped in a believable 'first time' number with hung Peter Andrews, Esther accommodates two male friends (Alan Marlow and Costello himself as "Lance") of her own in a well executed double penetration. Even though Suzanne's deflowering proved pleasurable, she feels a bit confused and goes to talk to gym teacher Carla (Jenny Baxter, who played the niece Wade Nichols lusted after in Carter Stevens' JAIL BAIT, the only recognizable female face in this entire flick) who adheres to tired old stereotype be proving herself to be a lip-smacking lesbian. After fondling the girl herself, she drags in Lance for a demonstration that sex is really nothing to feel guilty about.
A cast orgy (with an additional guy in a mask who's clearly Dorfman pulling double duty) gets cut short when the parents come home with dad launching a hysterical tirade of impromptu alliteration about how the girls behave "like pieces of pastry, passed around, p***ed on for all I know", ending with the rather inappropriate promise that "if whipping was my thing, I would really lay it on you !" As was his habit, Costello plays potentially disturbing material for cheesy laughs. Baxter is the only one who bothers to put in any sort of acting performance and also scores the highest marks sexually, pretty much dominating the latter part of the proceedings.