1 May 2015 | lor_
Fun, trivial Mitch/Vanessa vehicle
NYC porn talent is out in force in Richard Mailer's forgettable THE HORNY LANDLADY. The cliché "I've seen worse" immediately comes to mind to describe it.
Farcical premise is entertainingly absurd: Vanessa del Rio, of all people, is cast as a prudish landlady who rents a room to a very young looking Sharon Mitchell as Carrie, with lots of rules, including "No male visitors". "I don't think she's ever had sex," declares Sharon about VDR.
Mitch humps Bobby Astyr, who has to hide under her bed to avoid detection by nosy VDR. Vanessa finds a "Smut from the Past" magazine in Carrie's room and reads purple-prose literary porn - we get to see it acted out as she narrates. VIgnette has Peonies Jong as an Oriental girl named Victoria giving a Black dude a blow job.
Carrie visits Herschel Savage and they hump twice, with the odd effect of matted visuals of the ocean superimposed as pan-pipes play - elevating the dingy production values to create a romantic mood. Scene ends with a simulated Golden Shower on her as Savage laughs.
VDR confesses her sexual hang-up to Mitch and asks for help, so Carrie sends her to guru Vincent. Vincent introduces her to Larry, a bon vivant type and then directs them to have sex. At this point, Vanessa's blow job technique reveals she's experienced -not the character but a usual flaw I keep seeing even in the newest porn videos. She protests a bit but agrees to anal sex with Larry (played by big-dicked Peter Andrews), and upshot of it all is they fall in love and become a romantic couple wandering around NYC as Svengali Vincent watches.
Under Vincent's tutelage we see Mitch giving Larry a sensual blow job - VDR arrives and is shocked to see this. Vincent informs the Latin bombshell that she must learn to love the things that make Larry happy -truer sexist words were never spoken (DISCLAIMER alert: yours truly is named Larry).
As part of her overall training, Vincent humps VDR including a "69" position, and then the foursome change positions. Director Mailer narrates at the end, implying this XXX exercise was tongue-in-cheek after all.
To reiterate, I've seen worse.