- Melvin, a geeky Jewish antique shop owner with an overbearing mother, is a big fan of adult actress Tina Russell. He finds a jar with a female genie inside who agrees to turn him into porn actors from Tina's movies.
- Poor Melvin. His meddling mother is making him nutz. His only relief is the covert afternoons he spends at New York's notorious Times Square porn theaters. One day, he discovers a genie in a bottle. What does he wish? To become his favorite porno Superstars and indulge in wild sexual adventures with the sexiest women in sex films - f his mother would leave him alone.—Michael J. Bowen
- A Touch of Genie is a good-natured meta spoof from classic (both hard and soft) porn director Joseph W. Sarno on adult films, erotic fantasies and porno fans themselves.
The protagonist of the story (which could have very well been a decent mainstream sex comedy on its own, even with this same cast, as most of them handle the potentially funny material very well), is Melvin (Douglas Stone in a non-sex role), a geeky, sexually frustrated, antique shop clerk with a typical loving but rather overbearing Jewish mother (played brilliantly by milf adult star Maxine Haye aka Ultramax) who owns the store. Melvin happens to be a big fan of movies, more specifically - porno films, and his favorite pastime is watching the latest adult movie offerings of lovely Tina Russell (famous real life adult actress who along with several other famous adult stars in A Touch of Genie plays both herself and at least one another character) in the local porno theater. The movie actually opens with Melvin in the theater watching incredibly horny Lynn Stevens lustfully performing a deep fellatio on her partner. Since he's basically a nice, shy, aspiring writer (which his mother does not approve of, of course, since she needs someone to work in the store), Melvin usually wears his goofy Groucho (Marx) glasses as disguise when he goes to the movies. Melvin also has a nerdy best friend, Irving (Harding Harrison in another non-sex role), a shop owner who shares Melvin's interest in latest porno flicks as well as miss Russell (Melvin's half-eaten sandwich even reminds pervy Irving of her wet private parts), and a sort of love interest in Janet Geckel, a cute librarian-looking girl (also played by Russell) who's unfortunately in love with someone else and keeps Melvin strictly in the friend zone.
One day, Melvin finds a well preserved bronze jar in an alley behind the porn theater and takes it to his shop. Still turned on by the movie he saw that day (Harry Reems as a goofy doctor being serviced by his gorgeous horny female patients, who eventually has to go, leaving the girls themselves unsatisfied), Melvin sticks his ding dong (off camera) into the jar to relieve himself. As everything else in his awkward life, this backfires in an unexpected way as the "rubbing" causes a cute female genie (Sarno's softcore star Chris Jordan, who surprisingly not only has no sex scenes in the movie but doesn't even take her skimpy belly dancer outfit off at any point either, except for one time when the camera is actually zoomed in to leave her potential topless nudity strictly out of frame) to appear in a puff of actual smoke. She explains that she's been cursed by an evil magician to live in the jar until someone rubs the jar the right way (rubbing the jar actually makes her horny), which will free her temporarily until she makes the wishes of the person who rubbed the jar come true. Melvin gets to have five wishes, due to inflation making wishes less valuable than before (obvious riff on the slow but constant decline in value of the US dollar for the last 50 years).
After convincing his mom that the smoke was not the result of a fire, Melvin makes his first wish - to turn himself into Harry Reems from the movie he'd watched and finish having sex with not two (like in the movie) but three girls from the flick. Harry (as Melvin) is then tackled by the girls (including Lynn). As two of the girls join forces to handle his erection, Harry sucks on Lynn's nipple. The girls soon finish him off and then link up with one girl pleasuring the other with her mouth, while the third girl pleasure the second girl. Harry is at the end of the line having sex with the third girl. That's when Melvin's mother starts calling him, which immediately breaks Melvin's fantasy as if it were nothing but a wet dream (which technically it was, just like all his other sex wishes).
After eating a giant piece of a square cracker (and that's no exaggeration, since that whale of a cracker is somehow at least a foot wide and a foot long) and arguing with his mother a bit, Melvin starts to suspect that she's letting the local milkman lothario offer his services that have nothing to do with milk delivery to her. Angry at the milkman for being so good with women, Melvin wishes to become him (Levi Richards aka John Ashton) and visit the local ladies himself. He's teleported into a room with two lovely women (one completely naked and one dressed in her sensual sleeping jammies) who begin to passionately make out with each other (one of them is Russell). Stunned milkman (as Melvin) watches this erotic scene speechless while awkwardly holding a bottle of milk in his hands (not a euphemism, he really does have a bottle of milk with him). The naked girl proceeds to undress her friend and the two take up the lesbian version of the 69 position. After exploring their private parts with their tongues, the girls finally turn to Melvin and they hit it off... until his mother shows up and wants to join the party convinced that the man in front of her is actually the milkman. Melvin awkwardly tries to explain that he's Melvin disguised as the milkman and that they would be committing incest, which she does not take seriously and undresses herself completely in one swift move. When she manages to grab Melvin's bottle and disappointingly proclaim that it contains butter not milk, as the milk turned into butter from all the shaking and thrusting during the sex scene she interrupted, Melvin is forced to end the wish prematurely and leave before she can get her hands on him (Russell seems rather amused by all this, possibly because Ultramax seemingly teasingly used Russell's bare back to wipe the milk or butter off her hand).
Angered by what just happened, Melvin goes to the theater again and watches another tongue-in-cheek movie with Russell. This time, she's playing a beret-wearing revolutionary caught by a private detective (overtly laid back Marc Stevens), who stops her from shooting herself in the head. Instead, Russell than playfully proceeds to suck on the gun. That's when Melvin is interrupted by Irving who joins him in the theater. Afterwards, Melvin wishes to become Marc and finish what the two had started in the movie. After a pretty straightforward sex scene only notable for Russell's heavy moans and possibly real orgasm, Melvin's fantasy ends once again. Genie, who's clearly started to fancy Melvin as only he can rub her jar the right way, asks him not to waste his final two wishes as she will disappear forever after that and they'll never see each other again. Melvin, however, doesn't really show any interest in her whatsoever, so nothing changes.
That evening, Melvin begins to suspect that his mother is having an affair but since she's only going out with her girlfriends, he concludes that she must be taking part in their lesbian orgies or something then. To clarify this as well as get to sleep with her friends himself, Melvin wishes to become Harry again. However, Irving shows up, so Melvin asks Genie if he can take Irving with him for the price of still only one wish, to which Genie agrees. Melvin tells her to turn Irving into John Ashton (this time as himself, not the milkman) and they both appear (as Harry and John) in her mother's friend's place. The girl shows great interest in both of them and mounts Harry while John at first only watches but then receives fellatio from her, as she's still too busy riding Harry to give him more attention than that. After he's done, John moves behind the girl and mounts her rear end to seemingly begin a double penetration scene. However, Melvin's mother appears at that exact moment, so John (as Irving) turns his attention to her, as (according to him) his fantasy always was to have sex with a 40-something woman, and his friend's mom will do just fine. Melvin's mom is extremely open to the suggestion and begins fellating John, while Harry (as Melvin), who's still being ridden by the girl, watches in confusion. Things quickly turn upside down, however, when Melvin's mother turns her full attention to her girlfriend and poor Harry and John are left to wait for their turn. Tired of waiting, and somewhat discussed by the sight of his mother having sex (even if it is in another lesbian 69 sex pose), Melvin and Irving agree to end their wish and return home. However, Melvin's mother isn't going anywhere as she lustfully, hungrily and audibly devours the other girl's clit like some kind of slurpy lesbian vacuum cleaner, making the girl moan loudly (and convincingly) and seemingly cum.
Annoyed even more by his mother's intrusion this time, Melvin (what else) goes to the movies and watches a movie with Russell asking an insurance agent (excellent Eric Edwards) to bring her policy to her bedroom, once another girl finishes pleasuring him (in a strictly implied blowjob scene that's played for laughs and mimics the one with Harry as the doctor from the first movie Melvin was watching). Melvin later has a chat with his mom, who asks him never to leave her or move out, but also suggests that he stops watching so many movies or he'll go blind. Annoyed Melvin ignores Genie's request to make a fulfilling final wish and asks to become Eric and finish the scene from the movie. Eric (as Melvin) teleports into a room with the policy in hand and horny Russell waiting for it. She asks Eric to fill all her loopholes and proceeds to give him a blowjob (this seems to be the main fetish in the movie). Once he climaxes, she continues to fellate him, but he unexpectedly continues to violently climax in her mouth, which she manages to take. This ends Melvin's final wish and Genies is gone.
Melvin now becomes depressed realizing that all this sex was just a fantasy and that he had the real deal who loved him for being himself right in front of him the whole time (no, not his mother). The next day, he meets a female store clerk (Chris Jordan again) from across the street, who happens to look exactly like Genie and who seems to like him too. His mother is both happy and horrified, since her son should totally get married as soon as possible and give her grand kids, but in her motherly eyes, he's such a good catch that he must beware of harlots trying to use him for his (non-existent) good looks and (even more non-existent) money. As the movie is littered with glorious puns (both sexual and casual), it naturally ends with the girl asking gleeful Melvin to come to the store and visit her at the pottery department sometimes. Get it? Because the Genie came from the jar, and jars are similar enough to pots. Alright, so not every pun was funny, but they were all glorious.
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