Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

Kirstie Alley: Gladys Leeman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gladys Leeman : [wearing her old pageant outfit]  And can you believe it, they still fit!

  Loretta : She had a big ass then, she's got a big ass now.

• Gladys Leeman : Oh, my baby... Oh my God, the swan ate my baby!

• Gladys Leeman : [looking for a parking space]  You'd think they'd have the parking lot of America to go with the Mall of America.

  [Gladys parks in a handicapped parking space] 

  Iris Clark : That's a $200 fine!

  Gladys Leeman : I told ya I would move the car if a cripple came. Now just run in the store and pick out some outfits.

• Voice of Documentarian : [Gladys has just thought of a theme for the pageant: Proud to be an American]  So what was the theme of the pageant last year?

  Gladys Leeman : Oh, that was "Buy American"

  Voice of Documentarian : And the year before that was...?

  Gladys Leeman : "USA is A-OK!"

  Voice of Documentarian : And can you remember the theme of your favorite pageant?

  Gladys Leeman : Can I? "Amer-I-Can!" People ask me where I get this, I don't know, it's... maybe a gift from God or somethin'.

• Gladys Leeman : He sells reproductions! His furniture's as fake as my orgasms!

• Voice of Documentarian : Do you think that most people would say that teenage beauty pageants are a good idea?

  Gladys Leeman : Oh yeah, sure. I know what some of your big city, no-bra-wearing, hairy-legged women libbers might say. They might say that a pageant is old-fashioned and demeaning to the girls.

  Iris Clark : What's sick is women dressing like men.

  Gladys Leeman : You betcha, Iris. No, I think you boys are gonna find something a litle bit different here in Mount Rose. For one thing, we're all God-fearing folk, every last one of us. And you will not find a "back room" in our video store. No, no, that filth is better left to the sin cities.

  Iris Clark : AKA Minneapolis Saint Paul.

• Gladys Leeman : [nearly runs over a priest]  Gosh darn it! Hello, Father Donegan - Sidewalks? Sidewalks?

  [Iris mimes drinking - "glug, glug"] 

  Gladys Leeman : Iris, stop it. It's not his fault, the communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them.

  Iris Clark : And that's why we Lutherans use grape Kool-Aid for the blood of Christ.

• Gladys Leeman : [to Becky on the swan float]  Rebecca Ann Leeman, what's going... You are the one that wanted this, now get up there! I don't care if you have to ride this thing side-saddle like a horse, get up there!

  Becky Ann Leeman : It smells funny. Like gasoline.

  Gladys Leeman : Oh, for Christ's sake! Everything smells like that in Mexico!

  Becky Ann Leeman : My dress will reek, Mother.

  Gladys Leeman : You listen to me now missy, this thing cost your dad a pretty penny, so you get your ass up there! And show me some teeth!

  [Becky puts on a smile] 

  Gladys Leeman : Lovely, baby.

• Gladys Leeman : American Teen Princesses do not cross their legs like streetwalkers.

  [to Leslie Miller] 

  Gladys Leeman : Excuse me, Miss Penthouse '98, put your kness together. I could drive a boat show in there.

• Gladys Leeman : Our 2nd runner-up and winner of a $50 scholarship to the Vo-Tech of her choice is Leslie Miller.

• Gladys Leeman : Our 2nd runner-up and winner of a $50 scholarship to the Vo-Tech of her choice is Lesley Miller.