Samantha: You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing.
Carrie: The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.
Samantha: Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.
Carrie: The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.
Carrie: I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.
Samantha: You dated Mr. Big. I'm dating Mr. Too Big.
Carrie: I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.
Samantha: I remember when Danny had more than one thought, and they all involved going up my ass.
Charlotte: You had sex with Danny?
Samantha: Sure, he's cute, straight and we've known him for ten years. Haven't we all had sex with Danny?
Carrie: Oh yeah, that one weekend I was bored.
Charlotte: Just a New Year's Eve kiss.
Miranda: I showed him a boob in a coat checkroom.
Carrie: Just one?
Miranda: I sensed he couldn't commit.
Samantha: The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. I mean, look what happened with Nixon; no one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone.
Carrie: Here, swear. Swear on Chanel.
Miranda: I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman: "I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. Ever."
Carrie: Balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we'd feel naked in public without it.
Samantha: I'm a tri-sexual. I'll try anything once.
Miranda: Sexy is what I try to get them to see after I win them over with my personality.
Samantha: You have a lot of nerve telling me to get a wax. If you were in Aruba the natives could bead your back. And it's not just there: every time I blow you I feel like I'm flossing.
Samantha: What am I supposed to say? "Hi, this is my lesbian lover. And p.s.: I'm done with dick"?
Carrie: So what are we going to do? Sit around bars, sipping Cosmos and sleeping with strangers when we're eighty?
Miranda: Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night?
Charlotte: Will you please not use the f-word in Vera Wang?
Miranda: I said no white, no ivory, no nothing that says 'virgin'. I have a child. The jig is up.
Charlotte: We finally have the penis working. I don't want to scare it.
Carrie: My Zen teacher also said the only way to true happiness is to live in the moment and not be worried about the future.
Charlotte: I read that if you don't have sex for a year, you can actually become "revirginized".
Miranda: I'm dating skid-marks guy. When your boyfriend is so comfortable that he cannot be bothered to wipe his ass, that's the end of romance, right there.
Stanford: Oh, my god, she's fashion roadkill!
Carrie: [repeated line while narrating her column] I couldn't help but wonder...
Natasha: Yes, I'm sorry about it all. I'm sorry that he moved to Paris and fell in love with me. I'm sorry we ever got married. I'm sorry he cheated on me with you, and I'm sorry that I pretended to ignore it for as long as I did. I'm sorry I found you in my apartment, fell down the stairs, and broke my tooth. I'm very sorry that after much painful dental surgery, this tooth is still a different color than this tooth. Finally, I'm very sorry that you felt the need to come down here. Now not only have you ruined my marriage, you've ruined my lunch.
Stanford: I don't like having anything inserted in my anus, even though it may come as a surprise.
Charlotte: Can you have an affair with your own husband?
Charlotte: Allow me to get right to the point. After careful consideration, I have decided that this is the year I am getting married.
Samantha: There isn't enough wall space in New York City to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you, a lot of them were hung.
Stanford: It's so not fair. All the good ones are straight... even the gay ones.
Samantha: I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes, when I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.
Samantha: Well, I don't know how you people do it. All that emotional chow-chow. It's exhausting.
Miranda: Okay, I'm definitely in the slow sexual group if even Charlotte is open to this.
Miranda: I'm fine... but Charlotte, maybe your "hmmm hmmm" would like an order of fries?
Miranda: Soulmates only exist in the Hallmark aisle at Duane Reid Drugs.
Anthony Marantino: I am sleeping and walking! Sleeping and walking! How am I doing that?
Carrie: It's the end of an era.