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  • lor_23 January 2018
    Warning: Spoilers
    Paul Thomas is known as simply PT to his crew members and hipster fans, which proves to be an acronym for PreTentious. Now retired, he's the subject of my current survey of his career, sampling a goodly portion of his many hundreds of features, of which this Vivid release falls in the clunker column.

    It's one of his Lifestyle Porn movies, given a dumb generic title (if you want to see Adult Cinema of high quality titled "Beautiful" try Michael Raven's movie starring Julia Ann instead). That moniker might conceivably refer to star N'J DeBahia, cast as Jon Dough's fiancee, but as Night follows the day, Jon is soon straying.

    Dough's flat performance sinks the project almost immediately, but he hasn't spoiled much worth saving. After a cryptic introductory scene featuring Mickey G in Enid, Oklahoma (he'll pop up later as a corny plot device), the action shifts to L.A. where we're introduced to an even more cryptic character Caleb, played mysteriously by "Sergio Demon", speaking French with a heavy accent.

    His exact relationship to star N'J is purposely left unexplained, but seems to be a family retainer. Clearly Dough is an anti-hero, assumed to be marrying into a rich family for the dough, but even that dramatic story arc is boring.

    Instead, the screenplay credited to one "B. Chechon" moves into a tired class system mode, as after a couple dreary "meet cute" scenes, Dough is smitten by low-life heroine Kaitlyn Ashley, clearly from the wrong side of the tracks (to contrast with glamorous, exotic N'J). You guessed it, she's from Enid, Oklahoma, trying to earn a living in L.A. like many a heroine of countless exploitation films dating back to the '30s.

    Now of course the fans are rooting for Kaitlyn, because she's an endearing Adult Cinema star, and they realize immediately her trashy outfits and unbecoming makeup are merely dramatic devices. But the ensuing story is so arbitrary and dull, especially as executed by Jon Dough in a walk through performance, that one wonders what's up here.

    SPOILER:

    The twist, hardly foreign to porn, is that Caleb who as an older man and unfamiliar to audiences, suddenly has a big sex scene with Angelique, injected matter-of-factly as if they'd been carrying on for years. That balances Dough's easy infidelity to N'J with Kaitlyn leading to a dreary conclusion. But not before Mickey G. suddenly shows up to poke Dough in the balls with a pool cue, defending Kaitlyn's honor -yes, she turns out to be the Mick's wife.

    Supporting cast tries to save PT's bacon with some hot sex, always the default mode for a porn scoundrel (as the lion's share of Adult Cinema viewers adhere slavishly to the notion that only the sex matters). Not only is superstar of the future Stephanie Swift on hand for a strong sex scene but PT cuts between two sex scenes at a party for Angelique to inject some big-bust talent in Sapphic form: Chandler and Lee Anna Heart.