• WARNING: Spoilers

    NOTE: Dracula is played by three different actors [Ernest M. Garcia, Chaba Hrotko, and Tom McGowan]. Whenever Dracula is in need of blood, his body "swells" (instead of shriveling) and he starts to look gross and bloated, hence the need for different actors.

    Prologue: In the year 1577, a Romanian hero, Vlad Dracul the Impaler, drove the Turkish armies out of Transylvania on the point of spikes. He began to use this punishment on all of his enemies. He even impaled Saxon merchants, then sat down to a meal of raw meat as his dinner. He became one of the bloodiest rulers in the world, and when he died in the year 1599, he was buried in a well preserved casket in the cellar of a castle in the town of Snagov. The poor Romanian people were cursed because of him. They suffered hunger and horrible sickness, including the bubonic plague. For 300 years after his death, they suffered until they could stand no more.

    1900 Romania. Dracula has had it with 300 years of whining Romanians, so he flies his casket right out of its resting place and into a new castle in far-off Morovia. The first thing he does when he gets there is to save the virgin bride Sonia [Talia Botone] from being raped and murdered by King Ludwig. Dracula kills Ludwig then turns Sonia into a vampire.

    Present Day, California. Steven Hillman [Denny Sachen], distraught over the death of fiance Julia while water-skiing on the Colorado River, wishes on a falling star that Julia was still alive. At that very same moment, in far off Morovia, that very meteor lands on top of the casket of a girl being buried following a drowning accident, and she is miraculously reawakened. By some coincidence, Steven decides to drown his sorrows by taking a trip to Morovia. For several days, he wanders the streets of Prague, seeing Julia out of every window and in every glass of booze, until he finally decides to leave the city and get on to Morovia. While driving on one of the mountain roads, he swerves to avoid hitting a truck and goes over into a ravine. Injured and bleeding, he makes his way back to the road and into the small village of Dubova where he stumbles into the local pub and passes out just after seeing the pubkeeper's daughter, Carla [Kerry Dustin], who is the spitting image of Julia.

    Meanwhile, Dracula is out hunting by the river. When one of the village girls takes her laundry down to pound on the rocks, Dracula gets her. The next morning, the men of the village (pubkeeper Ivan, Baker Fuksa, Dentist Hoble, Father Stanislav, and Butcher Wurst) are sitting around the pub discussing how to get rid of Dracula, who has apparently been plaguing their village for the past 90 years. Father Stanislav knows Doctor Van Helsing, the world's leading expert on vampires, and he offers to summon his help. That evening, Van Helsing [Bruce Glover] arrives. As the men sit around eating and drinking [which is all they ever seem to do], a hunter comes into the inn. He orders a steak "blood rare" and a glass of red wine, which piques Van Helsing's curiosity. In order to test the hunter, Van Helsing doctors his toast with garlic. When the hunter takes a bite of his toast and angrily leaves the pub, Van Helsing is certain that they have found Dracula.

    Now to destroy him. Van Helsing has brought with him the ancient book How to Kill Dracula. With Steven's help, Van Helsing plans on going through each of the methods until one works. Method #1 involves firing a silver bullet through Dracula's heart. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. When Dracula phones Dentist Hoble needing some work done on one of his fangs, Van Helsing puts plan #2 in motion. He has Hoble pull out the fang. Hoble is later found dead with one hole in his neck. Van Helsing surmises that the silver bullet didn't work because Dracula's heart floats around inside his chest. So, for attempt #3, Van Helsing has the blacksmith fashion a five-pronged stake, five prongs being more likely to pierce the floating heart. When Van Helsing plunges the five-pronged stake into Dracula's chest, however, Dracula pulls it out and tosses it out the window. Plan #4 involves blowing up Dracula with a hand grenade. As Dracula stands in front of his window playing the violin, Steven aims the grenade through the window with a slingshot. The grenade goes off but manages only to destroy Dracula's violin. Dracula retaliates by hurling fireballs at them.

    Meanwhile, Steven and Carla have become engaged. That night as they sleep, Dracula comes in the window and carries off Carla to his castle where he turns her into a vampire. Not to worry, though. Van Helsing and Steven are on their way with Plan #5, this time to challenge Dracula to a duel. While Dracula and Steven duel, Van Helsing manages to pin Dracula to the wall with a spear and cut off his head. While Dracula reattaches his head, Carla tries to entice Steven, but Van Helsing pulls him away and they escape the castle. Some hours later, as Dracula plays his new violin from the window and Sonia, Carla, and Dana dance in the garden, Van Helsing sets Plan #6 in motion. Steven is to climb to the roof of the castle, just above Dracula's window, and pour oil over him while Van Helsing shoots Dracula with a flaming arrow. As Dracula's window glows in flames, the three vampiresses go after Van Helsing and Steven.

    Steven wakes up. Carla is at his side. She explains that he's been in a coma and had a bad dream. Hah. It was no dream. Van Helsing and Steven have been turned into vampires. While Dracula and Van Helsing play piano and violin respectively, Steven dances with Carla, and Sonia and Dana dance with each other. [Original Synopsis by bj_kuehl.]