The Secret Life of Girls (1999)

I saw this film at a film festival recently under its other title, "The Secret Life of Girls," and I personally approached the director, Holly Goldberg Sloan, who was in attendance, and I told her: "As a fellow writer/director, I would say that that film is a classic." This film was originally set to be titled "American Pie," but it was changed because that movie came out that was titled that simply because the main character violated an apple pie on-screen. This is a much better film than the naughty, gross-out hit. It is about a 15-year-old named Natalie who suffers from a weird family: A psyched-out mother (played to psychotic perfection by Linda Hamilton) who grooms movie theater carpeting on her driveway, a strange little brother who wears a top hat or any alternative and watches "Family Affair," a burned-out older brother who smokes pot and chucks dirty magazines at Natalie, and a strange father (Eugene Levy in a hilariously perfect role) who believes in free love and bad facial hair styles. Natalie tries to survive this as she grows up in 1970's Oregon. Hilarious frat-house sequence including a not-so-macho seductor. This is beautifully cinematographed, written, and directed. Watch for some psychadelic dutch-angle Steadicam shots. You won't want to miss this one. It's at your local Blockbuster and only there, so GO GET A COPY RIGHT NOW!!!

Sincerely, Mr. Jingles (GreenMile)