Johnny the Fox: A field... I need a field... A field in which to frolic!
Pilot Kelson: I like it... Hit the road, flee for your life, meet a doll who's got "once and a lifetime girl of my dreams and reason to believe" written all over her like so much graffiti. It could only happen to the god of fuck.
Pilot Kelson: You are one daffy invididual!
Pilot Kelson: [after the alligator boy screams] That be a cry laden with pain and sorrow
Pilot Kelson: Desmond the alligator boy is a major happener
Pilot Kelson: When you think about it, the world is divided into 2 groups... pandas and alligator boys
Pilot Kelson: [telling Jack that the whore thought Pilot was sexually confused] Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you?
Pilot Kelson: So, it was cool, you know? I told her about my troubles and she was like, 'sexual confusion's a tricky thing'. Sexual confusion? I mean, easy on the sexual confusion tip, baby. You make me sound like a guy in a raincoat with a fistful of vaseline, you know?
Pilot Kelson: Sexual confusion... I mean, you don't think I have sexual confusion, do you...?
Johnny the Fox: Congratulations you just became the Sir Edmund Hillary of assholes. You climbed the highest mountain Pilot. There's five big ones.
[as he has raw sex with Jilly Miranda]
Jack Hayes: Jack and Jilly went up the hilly to fetch a pale of water!