25 May 2004 | Chip_douglas
Uninspired collection of familiar routines
Sometimes it seems that no matter how ugly you are, you can always play the lead in an Italian comedy. They just love to watch unsightly, fat, bald and cross eyed men chasing much younger (and taller) women around. Sometimes there are even a couple of ugly women, but only in supporting parts. In this case we have a group of idiots using the mansion of a count (where one of them works) trying to get rich quickly and dishonestly. After they fail to con a wealthy Sheik (who gets more screen time in the opening credits than during the rest of the film) they invite a wealthy American heiress and her horny secretary to come to Rome. Apart from her big cowboy hat and an occasional word in English, this woman is obviously as Italian as the rest of the cast, but to my surprise the screenwriters neglected to go for the old 'phony heiress' twist. They did manage to include every other farcical mainstay you can think of.
The two women go about teasing the ugly old men in the mansion that seems to consist mostly of bedrooms and bathrooms and the fake count keep pretending to faint (with cartoon sound effects and all) in order to receive the breath of live. Then there is an attempt to break the world record of one man repeatedly falling into a swimming pool. Naturally the real count returns home at the most inappropriate time and (this is the most original bit) decides to play along and pose as a waiter. After all, only one other person in the household knows what the real count looks like. Unfortunately by now it is too late to breathe live into this clunker and it soon ends on a whimper (and the obligatory custard pie in the face).
3 out of 10