Simon Sez (1999)

PG-13   |    |  Action, Comedy


Simon Sez (1999) Poster

Basketball superstar Dennis Rodman stars as a hip Interpol agent attempting to defeat the deadly plans of a crazed arms dealer.

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2.5/10
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  • Dennis Rodman in Simon Sez (1999)
  • Dennis Rodman in Simon Sez (1999)
  • Natalia Cigliuti in Simon Sez (1999)
  • Natalia Cigliuti in Simon Sez (1999)
  • Dennis Rodman in Simon Sez (1999)
  • Natalia Cigliuti in Simon Sez (1999)

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Awards

1 win.

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1 March 2001 | b-a-h TNT-6
1
| So bad it hurts your soul
I had the opportunity to watch this on cable. And man, it is bad.

The most laughable must be the camera work. It manages to be the second worst camera work I've ever seen in my life (the worst being in "Venni, vidi e m'arrapaho", a film that I believe to be from the screwiest corners of hell itself). As soon as the movie had some action -- say, somebody jumped on a chair -- the cameramen went frantic. I kept vomiting during the car chase scenes, and that's pretty bad if you consider that they were driving at 10 mph with a bored frown on their faces.

Then ugh... the acting. Not one performance even came close to being decent. The script... was there even a script? It looked like there was no story and they came up with (bad) ideas while shooting. And some scenes were so idiotic I wonder how a sane brain would came up with them. I mean, at one point Nick, the "good friend" of Simon Sez, has a gun in his hand, and loses it because he is making fun of the "bad girl" by playing a tyrannosaur. This is the kind of comedy that you don't laugh at because it's funny, you laugh at it because it's so unredeemable and idiotic you literally can't believe it. By the way, him being a tyrannosaur was as believable as Rodman being an ex-CIA agent. Hell, they even managed to make the French Coast look somewhat small and crappy!

Oh well... 1/10

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