Champagne and Bullets (1993) User Reviews (18)

Do the "Shimmy Ride"

[wolfhell88 · 3/10 · 1 April 2012]

There are good films and there are bad films and – there are films like „Get Even", a film just made for the ego of one-time writer, producer, soundtrack composer, lead actor and director John De Hart.

The man fights, shoots, sings, meditates, makes love to a very beautiful woman (the lovely Pamela Bryant), tells bad jokes and all with the same impression on his face. The funniest scene is when he enters a stage that looks more like a recording studio and sings a country song called "Shimmy Ride", looking like he's not feeling very comfortable with this situation and not always hitting the right notes. The audience is poorly edited into this scene and I am sure if this clip would be uploaded on youtube it could become a huge hit.

The only good performance comes from William Smith who plays an evil cop here who later becomes an evil judge who is also a satanic priest – wow! So much evil in one man but Smith is really impressing in his scenes.

Another B-movie legend in "Get Even" is Wings Hauser, who probably gave the worst performance of his whole career in here.

Harts fight scenes look just ridiculous and they are poorly edited. He would have needed a fighting choreographer for that scenes. Especially when he fights against William Smith at the end of the film this scene is just laughable. Smith, then 60 when this was made but looking much younger, is taller, stronger and tougher than Hart. Hart doesn't even hit him but he wins the fight. Of course, because he is the writer, producer, soundtrack composer, lead actor and director of this.

"Get Even" is also shot on bad video and the editing isn't good, too but it is a film so bad that it's funny. If you liked "Bride of the Monster" or "Plan 9 from Outer Space" you will love this one. Come on and do the "Shimmy Ride"!

One part masterpiece, one part horrible vanity project

[jellopuke · 5/10 · 2 July 2018]

It's hard to rate this because some of it is jaw-droopingly awesome (in a terrible way) but the rest is horrendously boring and serves no purpose other than to stoke De Hart's ego. Did we really need so many sex scenes? I'm sure John De Hart says so. With a little more editing and a couple more action scenes, this could have been Miami Connection good, instead it's just blah.

Move over The Room

[Agent10 · 3/10 · 6 March 2022]

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I fall for the worst of the worst films? Why haven't I learned? Perhaps it is out of boredom that I feel the need to watch dreck like this, for in the changing landscape of media deconstruction, having seen a list of the best films ever made is on par with seeing the absolute worst films ever made. And frankly, the watching of these two wildly divergent areas of influence brings about an equal appreciation for the greatness and awfulness of a film.

Champagne and Bullets (I refuse to call it the generic Road to Revenge) provides all of the things I look forward to in a horrible film. Bad action sequences, terrible dialogue, bad acting and a lack of self awareness from the person fronting the vanity project. John De Hart made a terrible film and we should all acknowledge this, but damn bless his heart for trying. Unlike the modern "auteurs" who try to make terrible films for social media clout, De Hart set out to make something genuine and sincere. This is why projects like The Room, Fateful Findings, Meltdown and Birdemic are so awesome while the fakes who desperately try to be bad always become forgotten. You need to be sincere to make something like this work and pass through the annals of a humongous media landscape.

The story is impossible to follow. I mean, De Hart is a disgraced cop or something and his ex-partner framed him and is now a judge. Also, this ex-partner is the head of a baby killing cult. You tell me. The action sequences are poorly made and edited, for its laughable anyone would consider De Hart a seasoned fighter. And lets talk about the real star of the film...De Hart's wardrobe. Apparently, his spectacular 80s inspired vibe was all from his own closet. I'm sure this was done to save money, but oh boy his clothes are magnificent. I couldn't get enough of the hip-hop cowboy vibe he was pioneering all the way back in 1993. Thank you Mr. De Hart for bringing us into your little world. I'll end on this note...be sure to have friends and snacks because this movie is tough treading. But damn, you have to give the guy and "A" for effort.

wow. I mean, wow.

[rhinocerosfive-1 · 1/10 · 21 June 2008]

This is one of those things you're not supposed to see, like a snuff film or that moment in the bathroom at the party when you quickly shut the door and try to forget who you witnessed doing what. I was fortunate enough to be shown this buried treasure by a friend, who had borrowed a copy under the strict injunction not to reveal his source. There is good reason for this kind of secrecy, as it's maybe the worst movie I've ever seen, and I say this: I who was in "Gargoyle's Revenge" AND "Backstage Pass." So I sort of know what I'm talking about.

There is not a single element of this production that stands up to even passing scrutiny - the found and barely decorated locations, the trite and derivative story, the hideous costumes, the sometimes hysterical dialog, all are utterly unconvincing. But any and all of those component elements pale beside the central performance of John De Hart.

This film is basically a vanity piece for Mr De Hart, a sometime lawyer who wanted to be a movie star. So he wrote, if you can call it that, and directed, and I wouldn't call it that, this turkey, starring, of course, himself. Whatever vanity he may have thought would be stoked must have turned to horror once he saw the result - unless he's as delusional about his film presence as he was about his directing hand. His credits apparently include a stage production of "Hamlet", in which (in defiance of all credulity) he played the melancholy Dane. If anybody knows of a revival, I'd give a lot to catch a matinée. Really. Let me know. I also own a copy of "Plan 9 from Outer Space."

The high point of this film is when De Hart gets onstage in a honky-tonk that looks suspiciously like a small rec room in somebody's Kagel Canyon bungalow, and not terribly different from one of the porn sets at the Cabana Motel on Sepulveda Boulevard. Not only does de hart of the picture play a tough guy, a lover, and a clever detective (all with the same facial expression, something like panic crossed with egotism), he takes canny advantage of the early-90s preoccupation with bubble gum country music. Yes, he puts on a cowboy hat and sings a really bad song, a song Miley Cyrus's dad would have rejected, a song that we are lucky enough to see all the way through, with only a few cutaways of Wings Hauser trying not to barf. As if to cement his stature as the most wooden star since Kaw-Liga the cigar store Indian, De Hart sings the whole song standing in one spot with his hands at waist level, ready to catch the panties of an appreciative public. His singing, it may be mentioned, is every bit as strong as his acting; the two skills are further related by sharing the same single note, which by the second refrain is stretched pretty thin.

There are many lessons to be learned here: let somebody else direct your first movie; if nobody will finance your script, maybe you shouldn't put up your own money; if nobody will cast you, perhaps there's a reason. But the saddest lesson is that talent and ambition may not prevent the black mark of something like this on your resume. Wings Hauser is a very good actor; he's excellent in the string of drive-in shoot-em-ups he made in the 80s, and even after he was forced to make straight-to-video potboilers for ten years, he gave a marvelous single-scene cameo in "The Insider." Yet he's in this. And he sucks in it. Granted, he sucks immensely less than some of the other parts. But Laurence Olivier would have sucked in this thing, because the gravity of the picture hauls light from billions of miles away into the black hole that is "Road to Revenge."

Also classing up the joint: Conan's dad, real-life war hero and tough guy intellectual William Smith, whose steady film career of being beaten up by Clint Eastwood and James Garner was thankfully not ended by this appearance as a drug dealing Satanist-cum-Superior Court judge; and Pamela Jean Bryant, only a scant 15 years after her heyday as Miss April.

But the really, really good news is that the wait is over: millions of grateful fans will be glad to hear that this film is now available on DVD, retitled as GET EVEN. On the GETEVENTHEMOVIE website you can watch De Hart sing "Shimmy Slide" in its full 3 minute glory. Just so you won't think I was kidding.

Vanity project gone wrong

[ravenlord-57259 · 1/10 · 1 March 2022]

John de Hart wrote, produced, starred, directed, and did the singing and music composition for this "I Love Me" film. And he was a trainwreck at each job, even after 3 reworks. His character is a Mary Sue of course (or whatever the male equivalent is), but ironically when he is onstage at the "bar" singing one of his own songs, he has this cringeworthy "deer in the headlights" look the entire time. Using another of his songs as an overlay also sucks the life and any eroticism out of what should be an exciting scene where the main gets to undress and have fun with a Playboy centerfold. And unlike Neil Breen and Ed Wood films, this movie simply has no charm to create some kind of saving grace. There is no path forward to recommend this in any way.

No shortage of self-puffage

[danielemerson · 2/10 · 18 December 2017]

This 'thing' is quite extraordinary. I'm not sure I can call it a movie, because it lacks certain things like coherence, competence, credibility and quality.

John de Hart wrote, directed and starred in this. Guess who gets to have the sex scenes with the former Playboy centrefold? Yep, him. As well as nookie, he writes in other characteristics for himself, as martial artist god, Shakespearian orator, country'n'western superstar, stand-up comedian and general all-round down-home superhuman good ole boy.

B-Movie iron horse Wings Hauser is either shatteringly drunk throughout, or a brilliant actor. I've seen some of his other films, and have come to my own conclusion on that count. However, he is riding some kind of high wild wind here, in scenes that involve shooting, drinking and philosophising.

I adore this film; every cruddy, obvious, plodding, shoddy inch of it. The execution and acting of Neil Breen, the directorial nous and pacing of Coleman Francis, the delusional narcissism of a U2 video... I could go on, but the movie does that for me.

If you just want a snapshot of 'Road to Revenge', aka 'Geteven', aka 'Christ, I need a drink', just trawl a well-known video site for a song called "The Shimmy Slide". Even Billy Ray Cyrus beats John de Hart hands down, both as a recording artist and an action movie star (check out the microscopically less atrocious 'Radical Jack'), and that's swearing!

So Bad It's... Bad

[dolorespark · 1/10 · 19 December 2021]

Hey, if you're behind on your cringing, or if you're just feeling out of practice or are a masochist in general, this is the film for you. Makes Christopher Moltisanti's "Cleaver" look like "Citizen Kane." John De Hart makes Steven Seagal look like Ian McKellen in comparison.

A special shoutout to John De Hart (and his various online sock-puppets) for leaving all those 10/10 reviews, lol. Keep reaching for that rainbow, Johnny boy!

I almost went to the garage...started the car...and waited for sweet death.

[camarossdriver · 1/10 · 19 February 2022]

This is probably the absolute WORST THING EVER PUT TO FILM! And it's not just BAD BAD...it's God AWFUL HORRIBLE! If you REALLY WANT to lose precious time out of your life,then go ahead and give it a watch. Personally,I would rather slowly drip battery acid into my eyes for 90 minutes...at LEAST I would have felt SOMETHING for an hour and a half! I don't think I have ever seen WORSE ACTING from a lead actor...EVER! And if you want to hear said actor SING...ramming an ice pick into your ears would be more pleasant. Seriously folks...I don't even recommend this dumpster fire of a "movie" to be watched as a "fun time"...you pretty much feel embarrassed for EVERYONE in the "movie" for the entire run time. And if you even can watch it for FREE...I HIGHLY ADVISE you not to. It's THAT BAD.

Toodles.

Long live John De Hart

[cooper-steve67 · 9/10 · 29 September 2015]

Would have given 10 stars if I could have heard conversation at the restaurant over the chewing sounds. The horrible acting is on par with Troll 2,but as an added bonus you get even worse singing. Its also very disturbing to watch any woman stripping to "The Shimmy Slide"

Wings Hauser as lovable Huck was obviously an inspiration for Brad Pitt in the 12 monkeys. I was in Huck Haven.

28 seconds of the movie was almost action packed.

The bail bonds scene was very informative. There were more paper work intructions given by the bondsman than I ever got from real bondsman when bailing out my own family members.

John De Hart: He's no Tommy Wiseau, but he'll do

[ofumalow · 5/10 · 15 October 2020]

There's a whole category of mostly subterranean movies in which some schmoe who's had delusions of grandeur his whole life spent his savings to bankroll a vanity project starring (and often writtten/directed/produced by) himself. The most famous example is of course Tommy Wiseau's "The Room," which actually managed to become a cult phenomenon. A few others have gained a little notoriety among seekers of camp gold, and there's a sort of subgenre in which some guy apparently thought "I must be the next Bruce Lee!" because he's the star of his local karate studio, never realizing that "block of wood" isn't just something to hand-chop, but the way his acting would be described. But most such films languish in obscurity, because they were perceived as too amateurish for release initially, then were entirely forgotten.

This is one of those movies, although I gather some people have actually heard of it. (I hadn't, until now.) It's an excruciatingly dumb, basic hero-vs.-criminal-bad-guys opus, with "You killed the only woman I ever loved" as plot motivation, though it takes quite a while to get to that point. There are scattered professional aspects-the photography is mostly acceptable on a direct-to-video B-flick level-but the script is atrocious and there's a lot of just idiotic filler, particularly in the realm of women with implants going topless for no discernible reason, and Wings Hauser improvising painfully as some kind of Method Nightmare comedic sidekick. But the main issue is writer-director-star-producer John De Hart, whose only screen credit this is-and no wonder. He's 50-ish gent of average looks, in decent shape for his age, but who has all the charisma of a paperweight. He is not an actor, has little apparent personality, and despite all selling of his character as one tough ex-cop hombre, does not demonstrate any particular martial-arts or other physical skills. (We see him use a punching bag several times, which is pretty underwhelming.) Worse by far, he seems to think he can sing-and he sings several vaguely "country" songs he wrote, including a "Shimmy Slide" that occasions the lamest imaginable line-dance accompaniment. Anyway, his singing must be heard...if you can stand it. It's beyond belief. Incredible that someone could be that bad (is he sharp? is he flat? is he even hitting what one would call "notes"?) and have no idea.

Anyway, "GetEven" aka "Road to Revenge" is a little too inept to be consistently hilarious; sometimes it just lays there. But it does have some camp value. William Smith manages to be simultaneously hammy and bored as the chief villain, with his leering thugs including a ringer for Fabio; the women, clearly cast for assets other than "acting ability," are uniformly dreadful; oh, and there are baby-sacrificing Satanists. This is the kind of movie so arbitrary that the latter element, which would tend to take center stage in most stories where it's included, instead plays here as sort of narrative afterthought.

A fun bad movie, but not a great bad movie, or one I'd watch again-hence the 5.

Awesome!!!

[roslynmorris · 15 November 2010]

John De Hart, Wings Hauser, William Smith And Pamela Bryant are brilliant in their portrayals. John De Hart has become my favorite Actor and this is truly my favorite movie of all time! The action is superb. The relationships are real as is the romance. The funny parts are really funny, the one-liners are great and there are many memorable, meaningful and right-on messages about the corruption inherent in bureaucracy... The movie is thrilling! To paraphrase an eminent movie critic: Everything that is good about action movies has been mirrored here and amped to the next level. Remember how you always wished that Jean-Claude Van Damme would have sung multiple songs in his movies? This movie is the fulfillment of that wish! One more thing you should know: Every female that has viewed this film and voted on this cite has rated the film a '10'. Don't miss it.

Wings Hauser is so drunk

[joemcd-49826 · 10/10 · 9 July 2019]

This is an excellent movie. From the evil and vile satanist judge Normad, to the charismatic and charming badass of John De Heart. This movie will change you. Perhaps you too will fall for John De Heart. There is some stellar action (that end confrontation always gets me) and twists and turns in every direction. And what can I say that Pitchfork media has surly not said in their review of the soundtrack. The heartfelt ballads and the magical shimey slide will take younin with their sweeping choruses and melodies. Honestly, go watch this movie.

"Geteven" is just more proof that the video store era produced inimitable works of bizarre creative art.

[tarbosh22000 · 7/10 · 26 March 2014]

Guh? Buh? Wuh? It's hard to put into actual words the magic and majesty of "Geteven". Interestingly, it's all one word, in quotes. We would be left speechless, but we're here to provide a review, so we will, to the best of our ability. Movies like this are rare gems, diamonds in the rough of life that defy reviews. But we'll give it the old college try. "Geteven" has that silly, wacky, absurd, amateurish feel where nothing is coherent. And thank goodness for that! It's all too rare, especially in today's world of boring, polished product. Movies like "Geteven" are why nostalgia for the video store era is at an all-time high. It produced moments in time like this that will never be duplicated or equaled.

Of course, the enjoyment is all because of one man, the great John De Hart. Out of seemingly nowhere, he wrote, directed in starred in this movie, a great showcase for his talents. If "Geteven" or, as it's also known, Road To Revenge, is to be believed, not only can he do all those things, but he is also a master joke teller, reciter of Shakespeare, and, in the showstopper of the film, a singer and dancer. He also spends plenty of screen time making sweet, sweet love to Pamela Bryant, who presumably was on board with this and knew what she was getting into. Is there anything he can't do? De Hart is like a more stiff and wooden Chris Mitchum. That's a compliment. The facial expressions he makes while singing his signature tune, "The Shimmy Slide", are priceless, and look like he's forced to Shimmy Slide at gunpoint by assailants that have kidnapped his family and forced him to perform for their own amusement. He doesn't really project when he speaks, but he sure does when he sings. The icing on the cake is his awesome wardrobe, with a new, stunning shirt in every scene. The guy is so cool, he even gets married in early-90's casualwear.

While "Geteven" could be reasonably compared to Miami Connection (1987), Deadly Prey (1987), Samurai Cop (1989), Warrior of Justice (1995), and Night of the Kickfighters (1988), in truth, it's very much like the productions of early PM. The presences of Wings Hauser and William Smith would reinforce this. As would the fact that De Hart dons a black tanktop as his "Revenge Outfit", just like Lawrence Hilton Jacobs did before him. Even though the production is wonderfully, unashamedly threadbare, Wings seems to give his all, and Smith does what Smith does. In the movie, things just randomly happen, with weird cuts and no explanations. And there's line dancing. It all just adds to the fun.

Featuring yet another De Hart musical composition, "I'll Be With You", "Geteven" is just more proof that the video store era produced inimitable works of bizarre creative art that should be treasured because they won't ever be repeated. Like a shooting star that blazes across the sky briefly but beautifully, the works of Matt Hannon, Jay Roberts Jr., Andy Bauman and, of course, John De Hart, should be admired, as we are lucky to get a chance to see them.

Outsider De Hart

[pressjust · 3/10 · 15 April 2022]

Not Outsider Art, whichever title you go with ('Geteven', 'Champagne and Bullets', or 'Road To Revenge' - Indeed, this warranted 2 rereleases, the thinking seemingly is, 'The marketing's in the title; we just gotta find the right one'), so strap in. Nudity and bootscootin''s the future of nonsense ...

A Great Movie

[conceptualediting · 10/10 · 29 June 2010]

I have been and am a mainstream Film Editor since 1985. I've worked on many successful projects, for example: "Magnum P I", "D C Cop" and "Simon And Simon". The list goes on. I've viewed this Film ROAD TO REVENGE" more than once. Each time has been better. JOHN DE HART, WINGS HAUSER and WILLIAM SMITH give magnificent performances. The message is 'Good Over Evil' and it is delivered in Surrealistic Style. This is a 'Stand Up' Film that is character driven, with substance and good continuity. The Movie is worth seeing over and over. You'll com away with something new each time!!! I am only one of many that really appreciate the work. If you check the Ratings Votes, you'll find that every Lady that Voted, gave the Movie a "10" for excellent. I happen to be a man, but I strenuously concur with all of those Lady Voters...

A great film of its time

[jphendricks · 10/10 · 16 December 2019]

Filled with action, romance, good music, and wonderful editing, Road to Revenge is sure to withstand the test of time. Look for re-released versions soon with additional effects and digital imaging.

Absolute joy to watch

[boxcarwilliam · 10/10 · 4 January 2019]

A beautiful passion project, filled thrills, action, sensuous moments, and bursting with heart.

If the room and samurai cop had a baby

[deadforhope · 10/10 · 5 March 2024]

This is an awesome piece of cinema I found this morning and wow I'm impressed! Written directed starring the same dude and he did an amazing soundtrack that should have won a Grammy!! William smith is well William smith in this and wings houser is so loaded throughout the movie he can't even string together a coherent sentence the action is intense the dialogue heart felt . So everyone should experience this masterpiece and make dehart release the soundtrack as it's one of the best musical performances of all time. Do yourself a favor and get everyone you know to watch this masterpiece and chicks love it.