Mack: Can't you stop being so cantankerous?

Fiona: I'm not being cantankerous.

Mack: By saying you're cantankerous you're being cantankerous.

Fiona: So I'm cantankerous. At least I didn't run over a skunk.

Cop #1: No shit, Mack! You love the same woman as your brother?

Ian: You can have the attention by pretending to be some tortured artist, but this dinner is for Beth and me. Not you.

Mack: Good. I'm leaving.

[From the Director's Statement...]

Emma: What's marijuana? What's marijuana?

Old Man: See what you've done?

Mack: All due respect, old timer.

Old Man: Call me old timer?

Mack: No mother ever tells their daughter, "Find yourself a nice poet to marry." It's always a doctor or a lawyer. That's why Ian's getting married. He's a lawyer.

Syd: You must be the recluse. I'm Sid Huntley, the bride's father, and this is my wife, Sarah.

Sarah: I could imagine a monk living here scribbling away on a book that no one will ever read.

Fiona: Mack lives here. He's working on a book.

Mack: Can't a guy even run over a skunk on his brother's wedding day without it being an omen?